So here i am. Back again. Though i seldom spend time here because i am a bad person who illegally pirates other people's intellectual property and then posts about it in spite of forum rule #3* and solve my own issues i wanted to interact.

I think I'm in need of advise. Here is some info and background.

I'm not a high value guy. I'm not working consistently and I'm going to school. I'm 31. The last girl i was dating steady said she was in med school and was going to become a dr but she wasn't. She was finishing her BA then choosing to go to med school and i learned she was going to go in Tx and not NY where she relocated to for her BA. Thats been over and done for a long time but while dating her. I learned what it was like to date an unattractive woman. I did it anyway cause i met her on pof while she was in TX the week before she moved to NY. So i was her first date.

I been hibernating. A few 1 and done dates over the winter, nothing significant. Mainly keeping to myself, exercising for surgery prep and 1 or 2 medical issues kept me a home body shut in. I'm ok now. Still need the surgery but been putting it off. So its what ever.

I need help getting out there. I thought about meeting guys and getting a little group together BUT it seems either grimy cause I'm trying to meet the chicks they know or it seems like I'm picking up potentially violent friendships as i don't know these dudes and i don't really think guys get along all that well together.
Especially when you add chicks.

I need a game plan. Maybe a to do schedule

For instance. Be sure to make it to the beach 2 days a week, to the gym at least 2 days a week, to a pool hall once a week and what ever else.

Like a lifestyle check list where i get myself to places co eds are going to be.

Last but not least my confidence is down cause i havn't been trading punches in the gym so i want to re up on my skill set so i can stand the heat of a girls girlfriends boyfriends leaning on me to beat it cause the single girl is a back up, a once in a while hook up, a girl on hold or they think she is better with someone they know better. So i gotta get my boxing and kick boxing shit together for my own inner game.

From this is a system stands out let me know I'll do a read up. If other advise is on your mind please feel free to share.

* = mod edit

Sounds like you're in a rough spot man. The big thing is to get yourself back out there, whatever that takes. The longer you withdraw from the social world, the harder it is to get back in.

I like your idea of a lifestyle check list. Go to places where people are and actually talk to them--just make conversation about whatever's going on in the environment. If it's a bar, talk about the game on T.V. or ask someone what kind of beer they're drinking. Befriend some guys--it's not grimy and won't end violently as long as you're not outright trying to hook up with someone's girlfriend after meeting him. And keep in mind that the girlfriends have friends. Work on being social first, and the chicks will follow.

As for the inner game, the boxing sounds awesome. Just don't go picking fights to show your manliness--that makes you look very low value to women.

Oh, and last but not least, never refer to yourself as "not a high value guy" again. Ever. If you don't like your life, take the steps to change it--it sounds like you know what they are. But never tell yourself or anyone else that you're not high value.

I was telling this to myself and i'm glade i was able to get someone else to say it too. I didn't ask for it to be said by leading an audience ya know. You just thought the same thoughts.

Not being high value was my self expression of my feelings more then anything. Otherwise its mostly perception.

Haha, glad I could help. I do think being social first is the key.

And I realize it's your perception of being low value, but that's something you really need to get rid of. People who consider themselves low value are only right because they insist on acting that way, and I know that from experience.

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If you're trying to get her approval in ANY way, you've already lost. Hit the "www" button below to check out my stuff.

I'm lucky cause though online I'm just a font in person i have a good presence and people perceive me well. I think I'll get an inner game program and just work on getting in the scene and see what comes to me.