Two faced females. *Sigh*



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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 1:49 am 
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So, once again I'm with my buddies just having a good time at the mall.
I see a female i use to be friends with last year (Roya), when i went to the local high school (This was when I was really clueless about females and a really shy guy).
So anyways, I catch her and she's really happy to see me.. Happy voice, smiling, blushing, touching... I start chatting with her and there is a great vibe between us, and in my mind i'm just like *Gonna get laid tonight*.
She asks to meet up at McDonald a little bit later because i had to run back to my friends to hit up a game of football for our weekly games.. SO afterwards i head down to MCD's and she's with a group of friends... I intro myself and get to chatting right off the bat.. I'm making females laugh, dudes trynna get my number to hit me up to kick it, everything just good.
Until.... I start paying more attention to Roya.
She starts acting funny.. Seems like she doesn't wanna talk to me or is just acting up in front of her friends... I wasn't sure, so i just got up, used the bathroom and i was outtie.

So to the guys that this kind of thing has happened to... Please tell me, what the hell is going on up in her mind? Am i all of the sudden not attractive? Am i not her type? Really don't understand.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 1:57 am 
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Who's to say what was going on in her brain at the moment. Maybe a bit of jealousy in your interacting with other people (e.g. her being needy and requiring your complete attention), maybe she's been having a shit day and expected you to be more engaging with her...

At any rate I'd ignore all this and simply contact her to hangout (have a plan before doing so), rather than getting involved in analyzing what happened.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 2:00 am 
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I can contact her anytime.
But even if she was jealous or having a shitty day.. Is there a reason to Ignore what i say when i try and talk you you? I think not.
That just makes me want to NOT talk to you.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 2:07 am 
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I can contact her anytime.
But even if she was jealous or having a shitty day.. Is there a reason to Ignore what i say when i try and talk you you? I think not.
That just makes me want to NOT talk to you.
Oh I didn't read that part. Fuck it, find someone else to game.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 2:10 am 
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I'm probably not the bext source of information on this - I'm 45, and am cynical as hell...

But I don't allow that. I'll call it out. I'll literally get her attention and let her know I would like to talk with her in private and I walk away - she has 2 options... She can not come - which I don't give a fuck, and I'll go open a set somewhere much more conducive to opening a set... if she follows, you clear the air - always low voice, always calm, always succinct - BUT direct. I don't allow shit tests or bullshit - I squash it. It's a waste of time.... but - I also truly don't give a fuck.

RR

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 2:14 am 
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Hmm, I see.
If she was to refuse, it also makes me look.... stupid? Not that i would ever talk to that group of people ever again which i most likely wouldn't.
But why embarrass myself like that?


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 2:15 am 
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If she dealt you like that the onus is on her to make right. I'm assuming you're both grown adults, and as an adult she should know better. Rewarding her by pursuing her even if just for an apology is simply setting the frame that she's in control (she has the power at that point to either take responsibly or reject you). Personally I wouldn't want such a person in my life, particularly one who has the audacity to treat somebody in such a way without offering any explanation and/or apology.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 2:17 am 
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If she dealt you like that the onus is on her to make right. I'm assuming you're both grown adults, and as an adult she should know better. Rewarding her by pursuing her even if just for an apology is simply setting the frame that she's in control (she has the power at that point to either take responsibly or reject you). Personally I wouldn't want such a person in my life, particularly one who has the audacity to treat somebody in such a way without offering any explanation and/or apology.
I'm only 18. Barely an adult but i see what you're saying.
I think I'm just going to not bother with her anymore. I don't really CARE for it, but i just wanted to know WHY.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 2:45 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
If she dealt you like that the onus is on her to make right. I'm assuming you're both grown adults, and as an adult she should know better. Rewarding her by pursuing her even if just for an apology is simply setting the frame that she's in control (she has the power at that point to either take responsibly or reject you). Personally I wouldn't want such a person in my life, particularly one who has the audacity to treat somebody in such a way without offering any explanation and/or apology.
I'm only 18. Barely an adult but i see what you're saying.
I think I'm just going to not bother with her anymore. I don't really CARE for it, but i just wanted to know WHY.
You have to learn to not care why.

The more you stew on it, the more she is in your skull, the more she wins...

It's not easy...

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 3:12 am 
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Actually I'm going to backtrack a bit.

Your framing towards her is dependent on your objective.

If you want to simply bang her, you need to be persistent and literally forget her rude behavior entirely, act like it never even happened! If she brings it up, address is in a confidant yet humble way and quickly move past it.

This is all about protecting your ego. You feel slighted by her and therefore are reluctant in contacting her again. I'm not saying you aren't justified in feeling this way, but be honest about what you want from her and go from there.

If, on the other hand, you like her as potential gf material, than what I said earlier applies as passive aggressive women should be avoided at all costs. Ya, we are all passive aggressive at certain times but doing so without ever acknowledging her intent is designed to keep your psyche in overdrive trying to figure out what YOU did wrong when in reality this is more a statement about her lack of maturity than anything else. In this case, move on, but dont burn your bridges.


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