Curious failed approaches



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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 8:33 am 
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Location: Townsville
In the last few days I've been going to shopping malls and trying to pick up. To put it simply, the majority of my approaches end without getting a number. I've had 3 from close to 20, and I found out that one of those numbers was fake.

I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong to achieve such poor results. I've always been a confident person. I'm intelligent, witty, charismatic, and I'm not too bad looking either. I do have a knowledge of the game. I push and pull, tease, act a bit cocky, ect. Yet I'm failing.

One approach I've been using is the opinion opener. Sometimes it's about a debate over what women find more attractive, intelligence or athleticism. When I'm hitting on a shop assistant I start off with an opinion on a piece of stock. "Does this bracelet make me look gay? And don't try and sell me a sale. Be honest." Or "I never wear snapbacks, but there's alot of people I know that do. (put it on) Do you think this looks douchy?" A few other times I've done a more direct opener: "Hey, my friends dared me to talk an attractive girl, and you're the lucky one." I thought these openers were good, and I thought the conversations which followed them were also good. I'm training to be an actor, so I do have an ability to think on my feet and be entertaining.

My friend who doesn't have a knowledge of the game but still gets decent girlfriends (maybe because of his good looks) said that I'm too confronting, particularly in my body language. He could be right, but I disagree with him. Anyway, he said to look more relaxed. I understand that it's good advice. I'm never tense of nervous though. However, his validity was lowered a bit because he was telling me not to get over confident, because then I would come across as cocky. We know that confidence and cocky/funny are attractive. He also denigrated the opinion opener, saying it puts them on the spot. He said to make my approach really basic, like, "Hi, I'm Trent." That opener seems too basic, too boring, too AFC.

In summary- I think I'm attractive, I know what I'm doing, but my approaches aren't working. Can anyone give me some ideas of where I'm going wrong? Thanks guys.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 10:24 am 
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Quote:
My friend who doesn't have a knowledge of the game but still gets decent girlfriends (maybe because of his good looks) said that I'm too confronting, particularly in my body language. He could be right, but I disagree with him. Anyway, he said to look more relaxed. I understand that it's good advice. I'm never tense of nervous though. However, his validity was lowered a bit because he was telling me not to get over confident, because then I would come across as cocky. We know that confidence and cocky/funny are attractive. He also denigrated the opinion opener, saying it puts them on the spot. He said to make my approach really basic, like, "Hi, I'm Trent." That opener seems too basic, too boring, too AFC.
You've already had advice from a guy who actually knows you, has seen you in action, AND "gets decent girlfriends" (and it's unlikely it's JUST because of his good looks). Yeah, he could be wrong about certain things, but he's already in a better position to advise you than anyone on the internet.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 11:44 am 
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He's advice might be good, but other advice from this forum would still help. I'm looking for possible problems which I may be overlooking. Maybe someone will point out an appropriate one.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 11:50 am 
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Does your friend get these girlfriends while cold approaching?
The problems with cold approach are pointed out on this forum regularly over the last weeks. In short: it's hit and miss and mostly miss.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 12:10 pm 
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He doesn't randomly approach women. He just gets the girls through friends and social circles. I didn't only go direct. They were mostly opinion openers.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 12:10 pm 
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When I'm hitting on a shop assistant I start off with an opinion on a piece of stock. "Does this bracelet make me look gay? And don't try and sell me a sale. Be honest." Or "I never wear snapbacks, but there's alot of people I know that do. (put it on) Do you think this looks douchy?" A few other times I've done a more direct opener: "Hey, my friends dared me to talk an attractive girl, and you're the lucky one." I thought these openers were good, and I thought the conversations which followed them were also good.
I'd suggest looking into frame control. At the moment you're putting the idea into these girls head that you might be (a) gay or (b) douchey, and that really won't help your cause.

"My friends dared me to talk to an attractive girl" is pretty much anti-game. You're supposed to be putting yourself on the pedestal, not her.


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