PU artistry in a relationship



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 5:59 pm 
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An interesting idea raised in someone else's thread. Basically, if you are in a long term relationship don't bother with learning the PUA ropes unless it is to make yourself more attractive to your partner.

I assume that this means using such techniques on the partner (rather than hitting on other girls!)

So, what techniques are helpful for this purpose? All of them?

And can I coin a term of art? 'Neg the nag' to use PUA techniques to improve an existing relationship!


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 6:14 pm 
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Everyone says to stop playing the game once you enter a relationship. From my experience, that just doesn't work. Especially early on in a relationship, you can't ever let them get too comfortable. I like to think of it as giving them 90% comfort and happiness - the other 10% are a mystery and will keep her trying as hard as she can to win you over completely. You need to always keep her chasing you or she will lost interest early on. After awhile, you'll slowly transition out of this phase and things can normalize a bit and you won't even notice these concepts anymore.

However, the game is radically different than with "normal" women. For example, negging is not effective anymore, but teasing is more potent than ever when used at the right time. I don't really have time to go into all the details of how the game differs, but it should be fairly obvious if you're familiar with one or the other.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:16 pm 
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Relationship game is different than pick-up. Getting a girl is easy.. anybody can learn to fake being an alpha male / social robot for a date or two or three. Becoming the guy who can rock a sustainable drama-free relationship, on the other hand, requires most guys to overcome the social conditioning they have been indoctrinated with from a very young age. That's not so easy.

I'm going to quote myself here to give you some tips:
Quote:
1) Learn to screen. Personally, I like the "Freaks, Hoes and Good Girls" classifications that have been around for awhile. Different women look for different things in relationships. Learn how to spot the different types of girls and treat them accordingly. Don't try to have a serious relationship with a freak unless you really know what you're doing.

2) Learn how to lead. Be confident and make decisions whenever possible. Most girls are indecisive and hate being the ones to make decisions in relationships. Submissiveness is a feminine trait and being in a submissive role makes most girls feel sexy. Don't argue with your girlfriend. Guys handle conflict logically while women handle conflict with their emotions. Arguing doesn't work and it only rewards bad behavior by giving her your attentions (which is what girls want most). Either change her emotional state (ideally, by having sex with her) or, if she is in the wrong, leave or ignore her until she cools down. Never accept ultimatums.

3) Be congruent. Know what you want and act accordingly. Set up your expectations early and stick to them. If a girl is a FB, then don't treat her like a girlfriend. Don't lie. Lying is beta behavior. Don't promise monogamy if you don't intend on being monogamous.

4) Know that nothing lasts forever. Monogamous relationships are mostly set up to fail. When we first meet somebody who we are attracted to, our bodies release strong hormones / endorphins when we are around them. However, this effect mellows out over time. The strong reaction lasts a good 2-3 years.. more if you have kids (think "seven year itch"). Sure, some people get passed it and have life-long marriages, but it typically isn't their sexual passion keeping them together (it's common bonds and comfortableness.. you see this work really well with 2 people who are equally co-dependent). Be prepared.

5) Always bring your A-game to the bedroom.. always try and keep sex passionate, interesting and frequent. Mix it up as much as you can. Be dominant and don't be afraid to treat her roughly.. most girls love that stuff. Get toys and restraints and anything else you can think of to add some variety to your sex life. Do some research and learn how to make a girl squirt. Learn how to properly introduce and perform anal sex. Talk to her about sex and learn about her fantasies. Be the guy that allows her to fulfill those fantasies. Touch her all the time.. as often as possible.

6) Don't fail shit tests! Don't ever show jealousy (and/or just don't get jealous of other guys.. that's beta). Don't tolerate or reward bad behavior. Giving her attention when she acts out or picks a fight is BAD. Do, however, reward good behavior (this is part of leading well). Don't be that pussy-whipped guy who can never hang out with his friends. Don't be her psychologist or the one she constantly complains to (that's what her female friends are for). You should be the guy who makes her forget all the bad stuff.. a vacation from the troubles in her life. Avoid being around her when she's in a negative state and refuses to get out of it.
I hope that helps.

-Wolf

_________________
Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 10:07 pm 
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Let me try to say it in a poetic way.

When you are in a relationship:

Drop the game, keep the mentality.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 6:30 am 
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Quote:
Let me try to say it in a poetic way.

When you are in a relationship:

Drop the game, keep the mentality.
Nicely said, um, typed!


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 11:52 am 
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Quote:
Everyone says to stop playing the game once you enter a relationship. From my experience, that just doesn't work.
This. A girl fell for the identity you presented to her, that includes the PUA-induced aspects- obviously you shouldn't go around hitting on other girls but do not distance yourself from all the important mindsets that you presented as being a part of you.


Basically, this
Quote:
Let me try to say it in a poetic way.

When you are in a relationship:

Drop the game, keep the mentality.


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