Hey guys,

So i'll just to simplify this as best as possible, I'm just trying to figure out where I went wrong if I did.

Past:

- Me and this girl have lived in the same neighbourhood for over 5 years.
- Her brother and mine were close buddies, we chatted very briefly whenever we saw eachother.
- She had a crush on me a few years ago but I never acted on it.
- Saw her jogging one morning a few months ago, hit her up on facebook...started chatting. Went back and forth for a few weeks, she asked if I was single.....took the hint and asked her out a few weeks later. She ended up not being able to make it, couldn't tell if it was legit or not so I backed off.
- We continued chatting for another 3-4 months on and off.
- Eventually tried planning another 2 dates but times conflicted for her again....I wasn't buying it so I gave her the silent SPAM for 2 months.


Present:

- I messaged her again on facebook about 3 weeks ago, she responded quickly and asked for my cell number so we could text.
- Started texting VERY often, eventually started to plan dates but once again they fell through because of her schedule but this time I knew they were legit causes.
- Eventually one night she said we can hang for a bit after shes done studying...she walked over to my place we hung out at my condo for 2 hours just talking. Chemistry was great, lots of eye contact, smiling, she was fidgety. I walked her home, didn't try to force a kiss so we just hugged + cheek kiss.
- The next week her frequency of texts dropped but she continued to show intrest when she did reply....she also continued playing an internet iphone based game with me.
- I asked her out the following friday to which she responded, "Hey sorry but the new 2 weeks are crazy for me, I have 3 papers and 3 exams due...We may have to hold off a bit "
- I left her alone for a bit, but kept checking in to see how things are going with exams.
- I ended up going out with one of her close guy friends, i questioned him a bit about her and he basically said shes not a good girl to date. We also discussed girls in general and I explained how I don't really attempt to date girls unless I see a possible future with them.
- After that she texted me a few times asking how our 'little date' went and my buddy also texted me saying that he spoke to her and thinks shes going to go out with me.

- 2 days later I ask her out, and I get this message.

"Hey sorry. I was at the lib after my exam and my phone died, sorry if you sent me this a while ago. I've actually been sort of talking to someone I used to see, I don't know if it would be fair to either of you. I wouldn't want to lead you on, or make you waste your time. I would have said something earlier but I wasnt sure if it was going to amount to anything, so I just left it. Sorry if I have already led you on, it's just bad timing."


*It just seems very weird to me, we are both very compatible. Equally very attractive, slightly taller than her (she's 5'11), both of us are very fit and healthy, relatively same social circles, I have my own place/car, live 30 seconds from her, very clean, well dressed, and was only a gentleman to her to the entire time while being playful/flirty.

P.S. - We are both 22.

Any insight?

Move to the next one, blow her off, it's that simple!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Only 1 insight - you think WAY too f*cking much. Seriously, you wrote up a whole essay on this chick. Why?

Stop overthinking. Ask her out on a date. Say you don't expect anything, but there might be kissing involved if you're having an awesome time. Also, stop texting, give her a frickin call.

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To download the 53-page Manual of Confidence for FREE, visit my blog
Why Men Suck at Sex (fun read) - LINK

Logistics don't matter when the heart's involved.

Be respectful and kind towards her. Tell her you appreciate her honesty and wished things could be different but you're glad she's an honest girl as there are so few of those around these days.

This not only demonstrates that you're a mature guy, but also states your intentions of wanting something more with her. In the event things don't workout with this guy, and who knows she may see him a few times and feel no spark, it's quite possible she'll come to you. I do not want to fill you with a sense of false hope, however. My suggestion is that you maintain ties with her, but keep her more on the periphery of your life checking in with her every now and again to see how she's doing. In the mean time, it would be wise for you to pursue opportunities elsewhere with other girls. There's nothing worse than having all your eggs in one basket.

Doesn't seem like you went for any kino escalation. This is something I did naturally in high school, it starts with the prolonged handshake, 'love taps', touching her arm when whispering to her, pinching her muscles, etc and moves to leg/arm contact when sitting, touching face, kissing etc.

You say she was fidgety, you probably made it awkward by showing you wanted to touch her but didnt. the Cheek kiss sounds like a friendly formality at this point.

So she lacked that physical connection with you and went for the guy who gave it to her. You have decent emotional connection though which = FRIENDS

Just live and learn, I wouldn't waste more time on her. There's thousands of other girls to choose from.

Funny you're saying the other guy kino'd and he didn't when this guy hasn't even provided this information. This is a bad case of you projecting your experience on someone else. Everything you say is mere speculation, and practically useless.

Jesus, someone needs some attention.

In case you didn't notice, he said in the title she rejected him for her EX. So either you cannot read or you lack the experience to conclude that being an EX implies she was in an intimate, PHYSICAL relationship with him.

Sorry I should've been more specific. While she was at my place our shoulders/legs were in contact while watching a show for a a few minutes. When I walked her to her place I was going to go for a kiss but after she opened her garage door she came at me with her hands already in hug formation if you know what I mean.

Here's also a bit more insight afterwards. We continued texting, she was still initiating somewhat but a little less...still playing word with friends via iphone with me (which in my eyes showed continued interest.)

Here's where it becomes blurry. After I went out with her best guy friend on friday, she started texting me how our little date went....I responded by asking if she was jealous that me and him have been on more dates then her and I...to which she responded, "pretty much, haha." Two days later I ask her out for the following friday and that's when I got the dreaded text.

It just seems odd that after all this time she wouldn't want to go on a proper dinner date considering our first meeting was very casual. Since we already met, what does she have to lose? Even weirder is that my friend said he spoke to her the day after and he said, "I think shes going to go out on a date with you."

After getting that text I called my buddy up and he said, don't worry about...she does this to guys, that she likes having fun and is a tough girl to figure out. Well, if she likes having fun why wouldn't see continue seeing me? She would've at least gotten wined and dined for free....

Game other girls.

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These hos ain't loyal

p11x, I think there still wasn't ENOUGH kino from the legs touching to when you wanted to kiss, it should be a gradual build up to seem natural. Doesn't seem like you guys built much comfort either (talking about deep emotions, relationships etc there's tons of routines to run), that's usually how i PERSONALLY run things.

If she LJBF'd you, i would say screw her and yes, game other girls. Put her on the back burner. i've been "friended" before and if anything I'll invite the girl to a party so she can see me talk/have fun with other girls, not to breed jealousy but to show I have options.

I personally don't put much stock in what a girls friends tell me, like her guy friend did with you. They usually say whatever they think you want to hear. Plus it makes you put way too much effort into ONE girl when you're trying to get info from other people, if that makes sense.

The thing I can't really get over though is that in the end she pursued me. She asked if I was single, she suggest we hang out, and she asked for my number... but whenever I planned dates she always had something to do and never offered an alternate date. I know there was a lot of attraction and interest thats why I think not enough kino on the first time we hung out wasn't such a big deal. I just don't understand why she wouldn't give me the chance to take her on a real date when she said shes only 'talking' to someone she used to see.

I know i should disregard this girl completely and stop dwelling, but it feels like I've been working on her for the past 6-7 months. And getting cut off after seeing her once is real shitty.

This is the basis for this post, here: http://www.helenfisher.com/downloads/ar ... npolve.pdf

That's Dr. Helen Fisher's work. Fisher is the foremost scientific expert when it comes to love and romance. To simplify this highly technical literature, let's put it this way:

ORGANIC CHEMISTRY 101

Dopamine = Addiction through Excitement
Norephinephrine = Sexual Aggression triggered by Stress

• Sexual Attraction = Dopamine + Norephinephrine
  
  or
  
  Sexual Attraction = Kino and Sexual Escalation + Bad Boy Attitudes

Dopamine + Norephinephrine > Hydrocarbons from Food + Alcohol from Wine

Learn from this bad experience and sarge other girls.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

dude... don't pay attention to the words, pay attention to the compliance, this seems like just standard dis-interest from the start, girl is young and probably has alot of guys she likes to keep on the hook orbiting

just look at the story and take note of the compliance

-you hit her up on face book (YOU INITIATE)
-you invite her out, she flakes
-you then for what ever reason build rapport for 3-4 months, MONTHS
-you invite her out 2x, both times she flakes
-you build a shit load more rapport over text
-she finally meets up with you, after months and months, you puss out and don't even try to kiss her because you are needy and afraid to lose her
-she didn't get to have sex, interest totally drops off
-you see the low interest, and invite her out, she flakes
-then you ask her out, she rejects you

I really don't understand how you couldn't see this comming, this girl is just a standard female player, the young ones love orbiters that give them attention, they will flirt with you all day and lead you on until you get serious, mostly 16-24 does this kind of shit, as soon as you see flaking man, just drop her like a bad habit and let her come to you, don't build more rapport, make yourself less available not more, if she really likes you she would be giving more compliance

game other girls, this one is not into you/available for you,

seriously, drop her, don't get needy, you need a girlfriend, not a oneitis that will lead you on for a year and never sleep with you, make your intentions more clear from the start and when you see this non-compliance, don't even bother with the girl, it is a waste of time

I'd agree with you if that's exactly how it went down. If you read my last post though you'd see that she asked if I was single, she suggested to hang out, she asked for my phone number, I only tried to plan them. The reason I don't think she wanted to have sex the first time we hung out is because when she texted me she said, "I just got home and I'm really tired, but if you want to hang out, we should....otherwise we can hangout tomorrow but i might be really drunk from st.patty's."

Another reason why I think sex wasn't an issue is because she literally lives right next to me, if she wanted to get it in....she would've came over the next time I invited her.

no, I saw that she asked if you were single and was giving you ioi's but you have to learn to watch what a girl does, rather then listen to what she says

compliance will tell you everything you need to know, a girl can just fake interest to get a guy to orbit, or to try to manipulate him into doing things for her, it doesn't mean she has genuine interest, and at the same time, a girl can fake dis-interest but be highly compliant, compliance never lies

you have to realize that all girls want sex, just maybe not with you, guaranteed girls get just as horny as us, if not more so (but obviously this is subjective from person to person, as different people have different sex drives, guys and girls included), chances are no matter what she wants a guy (or multiple guys) in her life, the question is, is that guy or one of those guys you

judging by compliance, I would say, low interest/availability towards you

a girl can tell you she wants to suck your dick on friday, then not show up on friday, they are just words, at the same time a girl can tell you, you are the biggest asshole she has ever met and fuck you one hour later,

look to what girls do, rather then what they say

and with that in mind, especially with young girls 16-24, there are alot of them that play guys, they have a big abundance of guys showing interest in them if they are cute, so what they do is show interest back or initiate the interest, then don't give compliance and string guys along as long as possible, because
1)they like the attention
2)they have guys in a lineup in the event that their top option falls through

this is why they set up a string of LJBF, and orbiters, for emotional support and security encase the guys they are seeing break off, or they want to move on

look for the following
-will she talk to you and flirt (with your girl yes)

-will she let you touch her in a meaningful way (this isn't tapping her damn shoulder, or friend hugs, this is holding hands, kissing, cuddling, a hug with a more sexual meaning behind it, etc. etc. meaningful kino)

-will she be alone with you

if a girl doesn't screen past these points, I certainly would not focus on her, as passing those points is not asking for very much compliance, and pursuing her as a focus would be a waste of time (although there are alternative measures to try handle these problems, it would be easier for you to just find a girl that doesn't have these problems in the first place)

GOOD LUCK