I've talked to about 30+ girls since my ex left me about 7 months ago, and have been rejected by ALL of them. As in, I haven't even got to be friends or had a date with ANY of them except 1, who didn't realize I meant dates, and as soon as she did she of course also rejected me. And that particular girl had been single for 3, maybe FIVE years!

I'm not sure this stuff works unless you're already at least a 9 out of 10 in looks, and would be getting girls anyway. I'm rated a very low 8 on hotornot.com, and I'm very fit. I really don't think I'm below average in looks, I feel pretty average, but maybe I am below average.

I just think this stuff attempts to move things way too fast. It seems impossible to get a girl to go on a date if she has only talked to you once or twice.

I'm at the point where I feel like just giving up on a girlfriend. I'm doing something VERY VERY wrong and I don't know what it is.

Since you're physically fit, then your physiological traits are not the problem. I see two problem areas. One, you're probably going into deep rapport before wide rapport. Two, your direct approach to body language is not working and you'll need to learn the indirect approach to body language.

Another possibility is your grooming. Trim your nose hairs, trim your middle eye brows, exfoliate the skin on your face, and so on.

To learn more about rapport and the indirect approach to body language, click here: question-regarding-rapport-with-ladies-vt131565.html There are videos here that will show you how to do it.

To make girls want to kiss you without them knowing why, click here: gaming-a-shy-girl-vt130815.html If you want to get scientific with your game, then this is for you.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

After 30 girls you must have an idea of what you do to try and pick the girl up, on average.

So tell us, what do you do to pick up a hot chick you see? The more detailed you are the more we can help.

Think about it: Now is the worst time you could possibly give up.

When I get rejected, and I'm unhappy, I know I have to get back on my feet that much faster, so I can improve that much quicker and get a girl.

Every time you have an experience with a new girl, write about it. Find what you think your mistake was, then bring it to this forum, and see what we think your mistake was.

There are two major problems that I'm learning to get over myself, that seem hidden under a lot of other material on this site. Read my descriptions of them and see if either fits you.

The first is settling for girls. Never settle for an unattractive girl, or one that you don't connect with, ESPECIALLY if she is part of your social group. Having sex with ONE ugly girl makes you unattractive to every hot girl in the group. There are almost no exceptions to this rule.
BUT, you should work on maintaining a very high level of physicality with all girls. Friend-zone most, and make sure they know they're in the friend-zone (lines like: "You're like my little sister!" will help here) but keep on touching them. This will make it normal for you to touch your target, and it's easy escalation from there.

The second is not presenting an attractive lifestyle. When you're talking to a new girl, and trying to build a connection, mention your friends, mention that you just got back from the gym, mention that you're going out later that night. Often if I mention that I'm going to a party that night, girls will ask to come out with me, without me even bringing it up.
The point here is to demonstrate that you have other things going on, and more going on than she does. If it's not true, tell some old stories and say they happened yesterday, but more importantly, work to create an active, exciting lifestyle.

Ok first, I'm not going to give up. I might feel that way, but if I do I'm never going to meet a girl lol.


My grooming is good. I wear nice polo shirts usually, keep my hair cut decent, shave, and so on. I don't think that's an issue for me.

What's deep rapport and wide rapport? I do have trouble with my rapport. Its improving, but for whatever reason (I think due to my last relationship with my ex being extremely unhealthy for me mentally giving me a negative self-image) I have a HORRIBLE habit of talking in negatives with girls. I say how boring classes are, etc. But I'm getting out of that habit slowly but surely.

I have no clue about body language, but I don't think I look at girls enough because usually I end up talking to girls when we're both walking somewhere, so its kind of looking at them and where I'm/we're going.

Ah I see you put links about rapport and body language, thanks.



Here's an example of my latest attempt with a girl in my math class:

I asked her how she did on a test we had after class when we were leaving, and made some casual talk about it, but very briefly because she had a class near the room we were leaving. She seemed happy to be talking with me then. I just left saying I would see her next class or something like that.

Last week sometime we ended up walking together away from class because I walked around a parking lot that she cut through, so I talked with her then. I can't really remember what was said, but she seemed uninterested that time.

And yesterday I walked with her after class until we got to where she was parked at, and talked about our class a little bit and grades, and about her job because she mentioned it. I asked her what she was majoring in and why, some things like that. So when we got near where she was parked I asked her if she wanted to do something sometime, and she said she can't because she has a boyfriend.

Its possible she does, but I doubt it because she was single near the beginning of our class. Her bf had dumped her, but maybe they got back together or she found a new guy already. I did see her reject another guy in class once though while she was absolutely single.

Ha my problem is all my friends are boring! And since I don't live on campus at my college I don't have any college friends, although I'm working on it since a couple of my old friends are now going to my college and on campus.

I do workout all the time but I don't go to a gym? I always felt like that was boring to talk about to girls lol. They seem pretty uninterested in discussing working out, but I guess you mean just mention it to show I have things going on.

Ask yourself, what did you do differently with here that her other 5 million guy friends do with her?

The answer is nothing. You talked with her a bit in class about some boring topics and then walked with her to her class and talked about some more boring topics. Shes not dumb and knows your interested in her but you dont make a move... same as the other 5 million guy friends she has.

You have done nothing to add a spark to the interactions or anything to stand out from all the other guys chasing after her. You need to be more sexual... don't be afraid to flirt with her.

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Never get broken up with again: the-addiction-formula-never-get-broken- ... 88794.html

Hi,

I didn't read all the responses, but I feel most guys are telling you to focus on technical stuff. I say focus on your what you feel and what you project. When you feel good about yourself you can attract any girl by talking about the most boring shit ever. I know this is how it works for me. When I go out stressed and pissed I can get shut down 15 times in a row without even getting a proper chance. Just because of what I am projecting.

Btw, I know this can hurt your ego. Good thing about this is that makes you grounded, and that't what most people lack.

BR,
Defy

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I have to return some videotapes...

FYI Hot Or Not is 100% useless. Because people will rate you what ever just so they can get more views. If want to see how good looking you are dress up in a way you think your best and go to a club/bar any place with loads of people, and see how many girls give you looks. The more looks the more attractive you are. But if you feel below average girls will see that in your body language as you will act like you are. Ever seen a physical hot girl who didn't think she was as hot as she is? Same thing applies here.
Your best option is to give up. More because when you are not focus on getting a girl is is far easier getting one as it isn't a goal of yours that is running thru your head. It also makes you seem less desperate to girls. Because if you strucked out on 30 girls something is wrong with you and I bet more than likely it is how you are gaming them and/or come off.
Go to a mall or park and sit down and just people watch. Watch how people interact with one another and with their surroundings. You most probably can learn more about body language than from some book.

Your problem is you are treading her like a friend and nothing more. This is being Mr. Nice Guy to her. On the second meeting I would have said to her about getting some coffee or something or if there was time too walked to a coffee place right there and then and make a date out of it if you will right then and there. I bet part of your problem is your too nice and not aggressive enough.
Do you run? If so go to a park and run there or if there is a nature trail run there. You may find it is easier to talk to girls as you have a common interest and it shouldn't be that hard to transition things to a place to cool off at.

This is well said. There are a couple bits that stood out to me that fit with the story OP just talked about.

TECHNICAL- You seem to be in "business mode" a lot of the time. Talking about her major, etc. This is not productive to a creative, social interaction.

"BORING"- This is relative. You can "small talk" without being boring. This is created through body language, physical contact, and understanding the signals she is putting out. You have to PAY ATTENTION and be in the moment to understand a girl's mood.

This is a free video that will help you tremendously:
http://www.daygame.com/2011/videos/over ... -shifting/

You go to college or school and the game here is different from a bar game. You have to go with the slow approach. Anything like asking for a date just after one or two interactions will go for a NO right away. Next, you mentioned that this doesn't work unless you are really good looking. Have you seen good looking girls with ok looking guys? If you haven't, then start looking around. You would be amazed why would such attractive women would go for an average looking guy? The truth is, given a man is clean and properly clothed, a woman is more attracted to a guys, confidence, charisma, personality, charm, social skills, masculine chracteristics. If you already have this, it wouldn't matter if you are 5 or below in looks. You are a little insecure about your looks which is causing you to lose with the girls. You have to get over this.

You already answered your qs, when you said, you are moving too fast, and yes, a girl won't go out with you like this in if you just talked to her once or twice. Why would she go out with a guy who she just met once or twice in school? If you were at a bar or at a party, then it would have been a different thing.

You also tend to give up really easily. Like you said you are giving up on this already. Have you tried everything in your life, and then saying it didint work? Well, there are girls who will fall for an average quality guys like you, but you have to work for it. If you are already giving up, you are already declaring a defeat without even starting to play the game.

What you are doing wrong: asking a girl out too fast; being insecure about your looks; having no hope or patience; giving up easily.

Go back and improve on those things and work on yourself and soon you will be on your way to get women in your life. BTW how old are you?