Hi,

I am having this problem for a while .

The positive characteristics of me are that I am creative and a good problem solver, having a vision and being a leader.

However, I often get in troubles because, I express my oppinion about something, and people don't like that. Mainly because it is rude and I influence the situation a lot.

In the last years I learned so much about accepting people the way they are, that this already saves up about 50% of this problem. Looking forward to improve it.

Focussing on something I should not do, does not work that well, it like saying to myself: do not think about the red elephant.

I might solve this by trying:
- Not to be judgemental, and taking not my responsibilities. However, the question in that case is: when is it my responsibility? I mean, seeing friends suffer is kinda painful somethimes. In that case, I only give my oppinion when people ask me to give it?
- Learning to say my oppinion in a better way. Do you guys have any oppinion? Right now I am thinking about asking only questions.
- Accept that I have an oppinion but only say it when people ask me. However, my non-verbal communications can transmit the same. So it is kinda useless to try to not say it.

What is the best idea?

A thousand thanks.

Chunk

For example, my wingman has a girlfriend now. My wingman is an extremely attractive guy and gets insane attraction from girls.

The girlfriend has the tendency to be a bit insecure.

My oppinion is that she should face the fact that he is attractive and accept it.
The oppinion of my wingman is that not talking about the whole issue is the best idea.

How do I deal with such a situation?

While there's certain things you just can't say bluntly, one thing I notice about people with strong personalities is that when they give their opinion, they don't then worry about the person's reaction.

You say you're a good problem solver, so use those skills to JUSTIFY your opinion to the person when they become defensive or in denial. However you have to have the social skills to recognize when it's appropriate and when it's going to push someone over the edge.

I have low tolerance for BS, and tend to be blunt when I have to. as for your wingman and his GF, reassure her that he has chosen and wants to be with HER.

Be assertive, don't wait for her to go on her insecure tirade and interrogate you. Here's a good one that I used on my friend's insecure GF when I saw her after we both came back from the mall; "damn you must be great in bed, this fool has been talkin about you all day!" Let your wingman know youre doing this so he gives a natural reaction.