Hi guys,

ok, a hypothetical question. Say there's a girl who's had a boy for about 8 years. It's not a typical relationship, from the beginning they have both been amazing, honest, independent, no jealousy, no insecurities, good sex life, all good, all in all a very healthy relationship in comparison to a typical relationship.
Is it possible to bring another person into that relationship? Not as in a threesome, but let's say the girl has a serious crush on another girl. The guy has already seen them kiss and he was cool with that.
How foolish would it be to even try something like that? To keep the honesty going and not cheat.
We're talking about adults here, 30+, who know what they want in life, etc.
I've included a poll for the lazy

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rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

It's not easy to open up a long term relationship like that, and it's going to take a lot of hard work to do it. Communication is the key. Talk about everything, and I do mean everything, whether it's about feeling jealous, or her being on a new relationship high, anything to do with adding someone else into your lives.

Compromise is another big thing here. How much are you willing to compromise to ensure harmony between the three of you? How are you going to match schedules so that you all have time with each other and aren't neglecting one another?

These are all hypothetical questions, but one that a lot of people have had to answer when opening up a relationship for the first time. It's not a foolish idea, but you have to be sure that you all have your eyes wide open before you enter into this.

I'd recommend visiting a polyamory forum in order to get some specific advice as well as links to other information that will help.

Hope that's of some help to you.

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Don't make me hit you with a clue by four.

Either do the MLTR or dump her; you're disrespecting yourself by letting her kiss other people but you not be able to. Add in your ability to kiss others, and boom, MLTR.

Hiya, Txa! The guy would be nuts not to let his girl mess around with other girls (it's the first step to having hot threesomes!). If they have a secure, honest relationship and are not jealous people, then this is a no-brainer. Open and honest is the way to go. They should definitely talk it out.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

Thanks for your replies guys!

Me and the girl have talked a lot about our situation, not being sure what to do. So we agreed she would run the idea with her boyfriend in an inconspicuous, sort of hypothetical way and see how he reacts to the whole idea.
The thing is, we connected in a way that doesn't happen very often. I like her boyfriend a lot, he's one of the best and coolest people I know and I'm sure he feels the same way about me. On the other hand, I'm not looking for monogamy either, so this would be perfect for me too. None of the three of us is the jealous type and we also live in different cities, so I think it would be managed more easily. But all these conventions and social norms are fucking with our heads. We don't feel guilty, but we feel like we should feel guilty. What she feels for me doesn't change the way she feels about her bf, so what's the problem? The way I feel about her doesn't diminish my lust for freedom nor does it make me want to have her all to myself.
I'm pretty new to the polyamoury thing, I tried to have a MLTR in the past, but it didn't really work out, the girls weren't up for it, so I have no experience in it.
Anyways, thanks again, I just needed a confirmation I'm not crazy in thinking this could be a viable option. The biggest concern is how to actually open up a relationship after such a long time being monogamous.

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rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.