Honestly one thing you learn from the journey, and i'm not really that long into it i've been going at this for 6-7 months..but i've had sex with at least 50 girls [over that time frame] and i'm still 19

I know nothing of routines, the game, or anything like that, I'm basically myself...I do have some good things about me, i'm a good looking guy, wear nice clothing, has money, and goes to one of the best universities in the world, some dude who does pick up Paul Janka went there as well, kind of funny

but again i do have some "downsides" like i'm really short and i'm a minority, i just don't give a fuck/really even notice this shit

I wouldn't say i grew up in a perfect environment either i didn't really play any sports, didn't really do heck my parents would never even let me go out really or go out/stay out late

I was more likely to be studying on a friday night than getting drunk throughout high school

But I really love myself, and am a pretty confident guy, either that or I just never really gave a fuck

But the thing is, this whole meeting women thing and having sex and whatnot, it's not a fun experience...it's actually really really really fucked up. You start to realize how really fucked up this world is

Honestly the way things go, I find it nearly impossible to believe that I may fall in love some day because of how many girls i've been with it just seems weird to even get married and stuff...Plus now, I can't even have a normal conversation with a girl


Today, I didn't really go out, I went to see someone...but the thing is, I'm just in a hotel lobby, i see some girl, i go up to her and congratulate her on getting married

Me: "congratulations", give her a hug [she was like a 9, probably around 24]
Her: "thank you, are you getting married too"
Me: not for a verry long time, i'm only 19
her: well I got married at 20 first, this is the second
clearly she was bullshitting me and i gave her a weird look and just start walking away
Her to her friend: he reminds me of Jake
Me: who the fuck is jake
Friend [10ish]: oh that's her ex husband, you should give me one of your chest hairs as a a souvenior
Me: No
Friend: are you a pussy, just give me one?
Me: yeah i have a pussy , do you like it
[random talking for another three-four minutes, dumb questions like oh where you from? where do you go to school? blah blah them askign me stuff and saying nonsense to me over and over again while i say nonsense back]

needless to say she was having sex with me a few minutes later...i ended up being in the wrong hotel and it led to this in a matter of 15 minutes if even...I took her away right in front of her friends

Funny enough like 1.5 hrs later

I get back to my dorm, and two girls are behind me
Girl 1: oh hey nice green st. patty's day...i've never seen you before are you a rapist
Me: yeah i'm here to rape you and your entire floor
Girl 1: I just don't want you to video tape me showering
Girl 2: something...not really sure
Me [to girl 1]: what the fuck happened to your voice
Girl 1: I live on the fifth floor [enters elevator]

I think about heading to the 5th floor, she was basically asking for it, but i decided fuck it and i went back to my place

literally these are not normal conversations...also I was sober

What happened to way back when I would have normal conversations?

The longer you do this, the more you realize that you don't need people anymore...and it leads to you just not giving a fuck about others altogether...literally I don't even pick up my phone anymore to really talk to people and stuff. I even blocked writing on my facebook wall. i don't even talk much anymore to guys or girls

Also you notice how stupid/retarded/annoying everyone else is around you...people fucking suck. they are just weird and stupid and whatnot and i honestly have no idea why and to be honest i can't really do much about it.

you notice women are weird people, they are so fucking weird...i will never understand them, nor do i really try to...honestly all they ever do to me now is shit test me...even in the most retarded places i get shit tested. Like employees at random places, ie starbucks barista girl would fuck with me for no reason...its not even fuck with me but like mess with me for no reason at all...

fuck even bartenders are annoying as fuck now-a-days...and the hotter they are the more they tend to fuck with me...the last time i went to a bar the girl fucking stole my hat looked at it and was like "titleist? really blah blah" puts on the hat and wouldn't give it back to me...she also proceeded to call me cheap multiple times, called me annoying a few times told me i was like a middle schooler blah blah blah...i lost my interested in having sex with her because of how much she was pissing me off...i just wanted my fucking hat back!

And the thing is the bars/clubs/parties i go to involve wealthy upper class invidivduals, doesn't change the fact that everyone is completely retarded...

I even go to shitter places and it's still the same

I can't even explain it all

but the world is fucking dark the rabbit hole is fucking deep the whole journey causes more problems than the initial one y'all are trying to fix

fuck this whole thing is also making me scared shtiless to have a daughter when i grow up realizing what the fuck goes on in this world

Surprisingly enough a television show i've recently started watching really points out the dark side to this whole thing, Califorication


I can't even articulate it all because there's a lot i can't figure out either...but i guess it comes down to you end up accelerating the process and realizing how fucked up the world is...and this shit is depressing and when you realize how fucking weird and messed up other dudes you, you realize you probably have to have sex with more girls to keep them away from the douchebag dudes around you


there have only been about 3 girls whom i have met that i've genuinely really liked, i met her waaay too early on this journey and i didn't have sex with her, she also lived pretty far away, it wasn't worth it because of me not having a car on campus and not having a way to get back to my place...there was this other girl who was like 10 years older than me but she lived on the other side of the states....and finally this one last girl who was a certain celebrity's daugther but again another girl who was just in town for the weekend

but again i don't know if it was just becauase of the me falling in love with the girl moment at the itme for the night or if i really would like her beyond that night

honestly aprt of me wishes i was still that guy who would spent weekends in studying and doing other things...yeah i still had sex with girls before this jouney to get better with girls

but honestly

the only thing i learned

is that before i didn't really approach, like ever

90% of the battle is literally showing up...it's really retarded that that's the case

and once i realized all i had to do was actually go and talk to the girl then it was just stupid from there on

Well I can kinda see why it's working for you, i get days like that as well mate. I went through a stage thinking, all girls are liars and sluts. However, in my social circle iv got a few girls who are really nice girls who arnt like this at all. They have good morals and values and are girls you would want to marry.

But for example... for how fucked up girls are.... My ex cheated on me, and her flat mate is now in love with me.... she saw me as a guy she wanted, but i fucked her friend, when her friend cheated on me (slut) she jumped straight on board!

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Law of Attraction

Yea I feel like that sometimes, especially after I nut. I don't know what it is but after I nut I see the world very differently. I'm pretty sure it's the chemicals released, but I feel un attracted, like just get a taxi and leave bitch haha

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Stay High

"I'm savage as fuck, and willing and able and never got clowned cuz when it came around I was down to put my dick on the table"