Hey,

I'm new on this forum, I posted a thread in the intro forum, which you can see if you're interested. I wanted to try and keep things in the right forums so I've kept my question separate.

My question concerns a recent encounter I had with a girl. We were at this party getting drunk and she kept looking at me flirtatiously and I did too, and then she starting texting me, and I was texting her, she seemed into me, but I didn't really do "game". I texted her that I liked her and she wrote that she liked me too and the group was discussing corny chat up lines so I wrote one to her and she seemed to like it. We left the party together and we kissed for 10 mins or so. I didn't really do game. I told her I was going to text her the next day and she said she wanted me to.

So the next day (today) I text her. Again, I wasn't doing any game or being particularly funny (I have a lot of difficulty with being "cocky and funny" - She wrote to me asking if I got home alright and I wrote that I did. I wrote that I wanted to see her again, and how does she feel about some pizza and a movie. She didn't reply for two hours and then she wrote that she wants to concentrate on her studies, and that she's sorry. We all have exams coming up in a month or so, so it does make some sense but am I really interested in what makes sense?

I'm very inexperienced and it was good to kiss a girl (I did use some PUA material but not much) and I would like to take it further if I could.

So my question is, is there any way to salvage this situation, or should I just leave it? I didn't reply anything to her SMS and it's been a few hours now.

Thank You,

-

Good work on what you accomplished with her so far! You talked to a girl, got to kiss her, and you should be proud of that much alone. That's more than a lot of people are capable of doing.

The thing is, you came on too strong. It's not what you said, it's how you said it. It seems to me like you put a lot of thought into the value of texting, when in reality it should mean next to nothing to you. Texting isn't really a big deal no matter what is said, so everything with that regard should be taken very lightly.

It was also a bad idea to tell her you like her. Never say that. I know it's so fucking hard not to, because I'm guilty of the same exact thing even though I know it's wrong. But you need to do everything in your power not to say it. You removed all challenge and that is what kills attraction.

I have a feeling the way you asked her for the pizza/movie was something like "Want to come over and have pizza and a movie?", rather than "I'm feeling a movie tonight at my place. You should come." There's such a huge difference in the way she will receive those two messages that it will make or break whether she accepts the invitation or not.

Alright, so at this point your best bet is to just not contact her for a few days. After maybe 4-5 days, you can text her again and see what she's up to. At that point, ask (note: TELL) her to go somewhere with you again. Just don't make it at your house, since that adds a lot of pressure and will lower your chance of success.

Thank you for the response!

Thank you for the encouragement. I think the alcohol played a big part in this whole thing. It loosens inhibitions of both parties and heightens confidence! It has its negatives too, of course. I am very happy with how things turned out, but in a way I didn't really have to work for it - it was obvious she liked me and I just had to take the initiative a bit.

See, I always like to put myself down!

I understand your advice and I will follow it. You are right about the nature of my text, except that I didn't specify that I wanted her to come over to my house - actually, I wanted to take her to a nearby mall but I didn't specify this either.

I will post back and let you know how it turned out. My previous experiences with one-itis have taught me not to get too "emotionally invested" before anything even happens, so I'm not going to be devastated if it doesn't work out - but it would be nice if it did.

Don't fret about being too emotionally invested. It would be nice for that not to happen, but let's face it, it does. It always will. It's inevitable even though no one will admit it. Just take things slow, have a good time and let me know how things go. Good luck!

Are you in university?

I have always had success in keeping experiences surreal and above-and-beyond!

@Snarg - What would you think of a text like this on a Thursday night: "girl, last week's movie sucked and the pizza was burnt, studied, goin to imaX on sat night, you gotta join me"

Maybe the intensity of imax can initiate physical stimulation?
Maybe keep q-tips at home and tell her you need help cleaning your ears. They haven't been the same since 'nam.... lol


If there's no imax, find a local concert/musical theater production/orchestra etc. , "sooooo many books! I need people interaction, escape with me on Saturday!" she'll ask to do what? Tell her, "Well, I only have 2 hours 15min free on Sat evening, probably going to a show, interested?"


@corsair773 maybe wait to see what Snarg things, I'm a newb on the forums, but I just finished [u]The Game [/u] and am what you might call a [i]natural[/i]


Looking forward to learning!