Hey guys,

This appears to be a pretty recent trend, and it's driving me up the wall tryin to figure out why; I've certainly had more success than this in the past.

Basically, I've been on 5 first dates with girls over the past couple weeks, who I met online.

I've taken the advice I've gotten here, "No long dinner dates as first dates; meet up for a drink or two and maybe a walk or something.". Sometimes we split the check at the bar / sometimes I picked up the happy hour prices tab, which I don't mind / 3 out of 5 I've gotten her to come to another place after (attempting a time bridge) and said, "Okay how about this? I'll get this round...the next one's on you.". The girls laugh and say "Okay.". - and actually do it.

On one venue hop, the girl had just started talking about this place nearby and how cool it was and I was like "Let's go there now!". She asked, "Are you serious?" and I said, "Sure, you said it's really cool, right? And it's walking distance from here? Let's go!". She laughed, kind of surprised-like and said, "Okay, but let's have one more drink here."

"Be spontaneous", right?

At the end of the dates, I continue to get, "I had a great time! Call me."

All have been decent looking. I've texted all of them fairly shortly after the date asking if they're interested in a second meet.

I've continued to get the same carbon copy texts back from each girl, "Thanks Rob. I had a nice time too, but I just didn't feel the chemistry."

WTF??! What fucking chemistry is needed for a guy to maybe go see a movie with at some point??!!

I even called the last girl out on it: "I'm sorry to hear that; I thought we both had a great time and I'm not sure what kind of chemistry you'd be looking for on a first date, or expect to find.". No response. Then again, what should I have expected?

I ask about a 2nd meet so soon after because I'm tired of fucking around and would rather know sooner instead of later. That's not desperation/pedestal SPAM, etc. If a girl will txt back 15 minutes after the date that she didn't feel the chemistry and doesn't want to see me again, then waiting "three days" would've gotten me the same answer. This I've also tried.

What are you supposed to do to be able to spark that "connection" and make her start feeling that way about you with a girl you've only just met and seen for the first time?

I've heard the whole Adam Lyons BS about walking arm and arm with her to the next venue, and if she resists, say, "But if we just walk side by side like this, people'll think, 'Look at that guy and girl walking side by side, not touching or holding hands or arms or anything! What, are they fighting?'". That seems more needy and try-hard to me than anything. Either way, I've tried it in the past with lackluster results.

Anyone have any idea about what the fuck might be going on here??!!

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Http://Dating-Musings.com

I've texted all of them fairly shortly after the date asking if they're interested in a second meet.

Can you explain what you texted them exaclly?

imo: Dont ask her if shes intrested. If shes interested shell just accept your proposal to the next date.

Usually along the lines of "Hey, I had a great time. I'd love to get together again if you'd be up for it.". - sometimes exactly that.

Or "Hey, I had fun, would you like to hang out again sometime?"

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Http://Dating-Musings.com

Rob, tbh, it does not matter what you text me later on.. Don't worry about what you will text them later. If you had a good impression on them and made them like you, they will accept your invitation for a next meeting despite what you text them. I can't give you tips on your game and personality here because I don't know you and I don't know what your sticking points are. I wish I can help you here, but I can't give any tips on your game. But one thing for sure, the texts later after the dates don't matter as much unless you are being too needy which you aren't.. Good luck

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In this world, you don't get what you deserve but what you fight for!

If it were just one or two girls, maybe even spread out over some time, I could
just chalk it up to being the girls.

But 5?! I mean, I know you don't know me and can't make specific assessments about my game, but I know you've seen this format of date.

Could you tell me some things you've seen success, or others' success with that they do on these 1st dates to build attraction, and maybe even secure a fucking second date?

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Http://Dating-Musings.com

Wide rapport. Learn it. Both the body language and conversation aspects of it. This is the neuroscience side of it. Plus do some HIIT on strength and cardio if you don't have any serious medical condition. That's the biochemistry side of it.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Building rapport is crucial as Hellbound said.. This should be a given really..You will have to be interesting, and make them want to see you again! Demonstrate value for them.. Show them you are different! Sorry, I can't really explain this very specifically, but when I go on first dates like that I just act normal. However, I always know if the girls really want to see me again later or not! Sometimes they don't feel you guys will get a long and in other cases sometimes you don't feel attracted to her as well!

_________________
In this world, you don't get what you deserve but what you fight for!

Did you physically escalate during your date? Did you go places where you could sit next to them rather than across from them (for better kino)? Did you take them some place fun where you could talk to each other (i.e. not the movies, which make for the worst first-dates ever). Did you bring up sexually-charged topics of conversation (stories about bad dates and previous relationships, stories about funny things that happened while you were having sex, etc)? Did you at least kiss them at the end of the date?

If the answer to any of those questions is "NO", then that's probably your issue.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

Yes to close proximity locales. Most began at bars where we sat next to each other.

Any kino would feel forced and creepy.

Conversations about past relationships/bad dates/ funny/horror stories, definitely yes.

Sexual discussions, not a chance.

In fact I dated one girl who said she met a guy recently online who "started talking about all this sexual stuff" and her response was "Whoa! We do NOT know each other like that!"

So ask her about anal sex without sounding creepy huh? :-/

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Http://Dating-Musings.com

I wanna hear your conversations your having with the girls. Maybe your boring them?

When I go out for drinks, we hardly bounce to another place for drinks because we are having so much fun at the place were at just talking. When the low point comes, then the topic comes up to bounce to another place.

It's not hard to ask about anal sex without sounding creepy. You only come off as creepy if 1) She's not physically attracted to you or 2) you come off as in-congruent. If you talk about anal sex like it's the most natural thing in the world, then she will follow your lead. Usually, I bring up sexually themed topics by telling stories. The progression of conversations goes like this:

-talk about online dating
-talk about funny/terrible stuff that happened on previous dates
-ask her about dating history
-tell story about my trip to a swinger party
-OR talk about why men are typically relationship-impaired
-OR tell her about my experiences in an open relationship

From that point, I can pretty much talk about anything. It's actually a really natural progression and does not come off as creepy at all. Most girls are really fascinated by my more scandalous stories and ask a lot of questions. Kino is also really easy, especially if you're sitting next to a girl.

-You turn away from her to talk to somebody, then you turn back towards her and put your hand on her lower back
-You tease her about something until she acts fake-angry/grumpy, then you say "Awww" and give her a hug. (Ex: "I bet you are trouble, I can tell.. you're probably trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me later. I bet you're even planning on stalking me after this" Her: "Hey! Don't say that.. I'm a good girl. I don't stalk people! *fake angry*". Me: "Awww.. you're cute *hug* for somebody who's totally planning to stalk me later" *big smile*)
-You tell her something scandalous so you have to lean in really close to her ear and whisper it to her.. grab her waist while you're doing it.

All your interactions should be playful. Avoid any interview-style questions or serious topics of conversation. Don't give direct answers to direct questions.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

Tbh, I ditched that "you must be trouble/you're just trying to take advantage of me/you're just trying to get me drunk/I'm not that easy" stuff quite a while back when I would get repeated "hmmm, O-kaaaay!" responses from girls one after another.

Direct questions: When asked what I do for a living, sure, I could start saying "oohhhhh, I do a little bit of this, a little bit of that, but mostly I'm just enjoying my life"

Oh and I've tried the little hug after a slight joking insult, with first dates and girls I've met at clubs that I've been sitting on couches with talking for 20 or so minutes. What has that gotten me?

"Hey! I'm not one of your guy friends! You don't just put your arm around a girl you don't know like that! I just had my hair done and I'm not gonna let you screw it up!"

Go figure.

Sex party stories, swingers parties stories...well, I don't have any to tell, but one girl did volunteer her distaste for invites she kept getting about "open marriages."

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Http://Dating-Musings.com

I'm just trying to be helpful. This is stuff that works for me and is congruent with who I am. Now we just need to figure out what works for you. If the way I'm playful with girls doesn't work for you, then you need to figure out a way to be playful with girls that does. Don't just stop being playful.. or focus on all things that DON'T work for you. The same thing goes for KINO.. you need to figure out a way to incorporate KINO that works for you.

Fun/playful interactions + sexually-charged conversation + physical escalation = Win

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

The Adam Lyons script about why you should go arm in arm is kinda silly, but dude women love that. Chemistry comes from physicality, and physicality comes from contact. Leave the bar, hold out your arm, and if you did anything right she'll put hers around yours. Hell, half the time they will reach down and hold your hand. Once you are holding eachother's hands, you can basically kiss her whenever you want.

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These hos ain't loyal

First of all, you never ever text a girl to ask her out, that is the lamest thing you can do if you want to get a girl to go out with you.

If you want to kill the sexual chemistry then texting her like a teenage girl is a pretty surefire way to do it.

Second of all, why are you looking for women online? You should get your real life game sorted before you even consider entering the world of online dating. Only losers use internet dating as the basis for their love life.

Third of all, stop over thinking everything with these rules and tricks you read online; you sound like a PUA robot, trying to calculate and assess your dates like they were some kind of model airplane box-set you bought from kmart only yours doesn't look anything like the picture on the box, so you better buy a new model and start all over again.

Get real man, you need to sort your game mentality before you can have any chance of getting the kind of sucess you are hoping for and that doesn't mean you need to read more PUA books or go pay $2000 bucks for a course.

Learn to think like a cool, confident, charming guy and the rest will fall into place for you.

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"Stay hungry, stay healthy, be a gentleman, believe strongly in yourself and go beyond limitations.” - Arnold Schwarzenegger