I have 99 problems but none of them is worst as deciding something (sorry for bad english)

First of all im 23 years old male.I left school 2 years ago because of laziness,ocd and anxiety

In these 2 years i thought i will be okay and i will try to change myself (i was drinking too much alcohol,weed,i was lazy and i lost my self confidence)

But because of ocd i never continue something i decided.I always give up things (like djing,sports,gym another hobbies)

But now i want to start over again.I was a social person before but i lose my trust to people.Also i lost my confidence over me.Now i have no friends only 2-3 people

Anyway my family opened a restaurant and they want me to be the boss there.I will start working there

I quit alcohol,weed,smoking and everything else and i want to get my confidence,social life,mental health back

I will start gym and kickboxing but im worried of i will not continue them again.This ocd makes me insane i cant control it

I think over things all the time.I cant decide on something always i think and ruin what i decide

I know this is coming from my low self esteem.If i had a self esteem i will never think about these things

Anyway these are what i want

-Wanna be comfortable around other people.I dont want to see myself as a low being

-I wanna be healthy and powerful so i can handle things on my own

-I want to be social but not the mr pushover guy or funny guy.I wanna be talkative but not a funny jerk (or too much talking)

-I wanna be a leader in my job

-I want some hobbies that i can participate

-I dont want to challenge myself all the time with other peoples (if they are better than me i feel unhappy)

-I dont want to take medicine for OCD.I take them and they only make me stoned and stupid happy.I want to think but i want to think important thinks not about paranoid things (they are like "he is looking at me" "i think im not cool" "i have to be funny or they will get bored" etc)

-I wanna be disciplined so i will be fit and healthy

-Also i need a good social life my social life sucks

I have everything that can help me in this way.Only thing that stops me is again ME!

I always think about "i cant fight" "i cant seduce girls" "i cant talk people" but in past i had fights,i seduced some girls,i talked loads of peopel

I want to delete this negative thinking

Any opinion for starting over my life will make me happy please help me