Where did I go wrong? Advice?



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PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 10:37 pm 
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Hi,

I was wondering if it is at all possible if I could receive some advice on the following situation:

Around the end of this past November, I saw a girl that I met in one of my classes at a bar. When we made eye contact she instantly smiled, and continued to hover around me the rest of the night. Well, the next day after class we talked for about twenty minutes, but I didn't get her number. I had even alluded to the fact that I owed her a drink from the night before, but I am not sure whether or not she really took that in.

Over the next several months (besides most of December and early January since it was winter break), we would continually have these encounters where I would see her on campus, in the gym etc, and we would talk for a pretty good amount of time. Periodically, I would continue to mention that we needed to go out for a drink, but I still wasn't sure if It was getting through since I hadn't gotten her number. But over the course of these conversations we got to know each other a lot better and, in-turn, I became increasingly interested in her.

I happen to go to the gym where this girl works pretty often, and I can count on seeing her every Friday when I am there. For the past three or four weeks, I have been going to work out on Fridays, but I would stand at the desk and talk to her for about twenty minutes. Well, I finally worked up the nerve to specifically ask her for her number; to which she said "okay" and gave it to me. I didn't text her for a little over a week though, since I had some pretty major tests. When I saw her again last week, I had mentioned the drink again and she had said something along the lines of "yeah, lets go" and I had told her I would text her in the next couple of days.

About four days ago, I texted her asking what she was doing Thursday(Yesterday) or today. About twenty minutes later, she replied: "Well, i'm going to Sing (a university event that lasts a couple hours at night) on thursday, and i'm going to college station on friday, haha, whats up?"

About ten minutes later (when I noticed it), I responded saying that I wanted to take her out. I still haven't gotten a response from her. I also have no idea what this means.. could she once have been interested and is not now? Did I do something wrong?

This is one of those moments where I perceive the hint that she doesn't want to go out with me. So when I went to the gym today and saw her, I didn't really talk to her at all. All I did was wave in acknowledgment when I got there, but didn't look her way when I left.


I'm a little lost on what I should do. I keep telling myself that I need to completely drop this, but at the same time I can't stop thinking about her. Another part of me is saying that I need to try again, but I don't want to alienate her and seem like the creepy guy who can't take a hit (if there even was one)


Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 11:06 pm 
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Well, when she smiled at you in the bar is when you should have started talking to her. You should have gotten her number then. Gone out with her that week etc. Not months later. Does this mean you haven't been sleeping with any other women since November? You need to be improving your game and not worrying about this one girl anymore. Have you heard of one-itis?

It sounds like you had a weak frame when you were talking with her, I can tell because of the language you're using.

What do you think you should have done differently?

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 11:27 pm 
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Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2012 10:36 pm
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You're right. In retrospect, I should have started talking to her at the bar and I should have gotten her number/taken her out that week. To answer your other question: yes, it means that I haven't slept with anybody since November, but not because I have only been focused on her. Simply put, I just don't have game. I have definitely heard of one-itis, but I often struggle with the decision of when to move on.

I'm not really sure what you mean by 'weak frame.' Physically, I definitely don't have a weak frame. Mentally.. yeah.. i'm definitely lacking in confidence. I have literally had girls tell me that they think that I am a very attractive guy, and also that they know other girls who think also that I am a very attractive guy. But I can never pick up on any IOIs, and that's why I just recently started looking on-line for help.

To call me an amateur at the art of picking up women wouldn't be too far off-base.

But from my point of view, I think that I could have done a lot of things differently. Like you said, and I agree, I needed to be quicker about actually getting her number and taking her out... much quicker. All those times I talked to her, I should have taken those opportunities to get her number. And I also need to be more direct, instead of beating around the bush with my intentions.


Im pretty sure that I've gotten to the point where I am just oblivious.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 11:45 pm 
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are you being oblivious or being direct? Nothing wrong with being direct, in fact some guys exclusively use the direct method in their game.

Weak frame means mentally... 2 days ago, I walked up to a group of 4 girls. Told them all how sexy I thought their one friend was. Fluffed for a few minutes then put my phone in her hand and now she's on the way over. If girls are telling you that your confidence is lacking you should start working on that. If you want to send me an email at mailbox@datedocspodcast.com I can send you some stuff to help.

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datedocspodcast.com
Click here to test your game... http://bit.ly/NFuFh9
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