First off I want to say this might seem like a rant, which it is, but I need to get it out there and seek advice any way possible. I'm in a situation where I have no fulfillment, can't get laid or find a decent girl, and even make new friends. As all the people I used to hang out are doing something for spring break, I sit here depressed as the only action my phone gets is a text from my mother. I need someone else's take on this.

I'm currently 20, going to college, and I can't seem to create any sort of excitement or fulfillment in my life. Over the past year I've gone through the process of eliminating people in my life which are not empowering me in any way and pulling me down with them. My former friends were mostly pot smokers and alcoholics. When I see them now they seem to have a hostile aura about them which I assume to be because I have discontinued hanging out with them. However, this has been for good reason. They are unproductive, unambitious, low-lifes. I won't get into it further here, but I don't want my 5 closest friends to be losers because this will undoubtedly reflect on myself.

Now, cutting these people out of my life is no longer the problem. The main issue is getting into or creating a new social circle. This is the area I'm having the most difficulty with. I cannot seem to expand my social cirle and be included in other people's activities. I have a tonne of weak ties, people I know as aquaintences. Few are the people I see value in hanging out with. My university is not a party university, not even close. After September or October there are no house parties to be heard of. The only thing to do is go to the bar and in my small city I've already been to the 5 or 6 different bars so many times I'm on a first name basis with the staff. Needless to say, I hate the bar scene in this city.

Now with a lack of a social circle, I am forced to pull women from other areas. I've focused on three areas recently with absolutely no success. Bars, college, and online game. I'm not sure what it is, but you cannot take a girl home from the bar in this city. It just doesn't happen. I've come to realize the bar scene is not getting me results. Not even for a one night stand, just for more women in my life. Women in this city in general seem flaky as hell. As for online game, when you start messaging a good chick she will flake when it comes to a meet up. Always. It's perceived they are only on the site to find someone to talk and flirt with. College game is no better as I've gamed a few girls recently to no avail. On more than a few ocassions they've either flaked for no reason or they have boyfriends.

It doesn't help the fact I'm not enjoying going to school here. All my classes are completely unfulfilling. My student societies are run by a bunch of airheads where the responsibilities are just smoke and mirrors. The thing that pisses me off the most is when you see someone you know and they walk by you in the hallway with their nose in the air and put forth a great effort to make it seem like they didn't see you. I mean does this happen everywhere? Seriously, is it that hard to say hi?

I've went just about a year without getting laid in this city. I've had about all I can take. It seems like I've tried everything and have gotten no results. I've swtiched living accomodation 3 different times since July. Now I'm living in a nice house except the landlord is living off my couch. Yes, I have a wierd as fuck pakistan guy living off my couch which makes it near impossible to bring a chick back to my house.

I'm starting to consider transferring universities for a new start in a new, bigger city. I want to get out of this city as soon as possible as the only months where the weather is good is in the summer. In the summer everyone leaves to go home or somewhere else to work and this city is dead as hell. I've frantically been searching for a summer job in another city but have had no luck whatsoever. Infact I haven't even gotten a response or phone call back.

I still think of my ex of over a year ago.

I spend most of my day eating, sleeping, and going to the gym.

I've given up drinking and smoking pot completely.

And I've never felt this depressed and alone for so long.


Thanks in advance for any advice.

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“Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent.”

Man, you need some serious motivation. I'll do my best.

Listen, or read, first, I want to congratulate you on stoping smoking pot and eliminating those people from your life. As you are beginning a new life, before getting laid, and finding women I suggest you make friends. Friends are easier to make, and also fun to hang with. I understand that you can't seem to find any people worth passing time with. I believe this is a mistake, until you get to know people well you should never say that. Making friends is easy, but you got to make an effort, no one is going to become your friend because you are handsome or cool, they are going to be your friends if you show them your interest.

For example you have things you like to do, hobbies, sports, anything. Go to places where those things are done. If you like to play basketball, you can go to a court and tell the guys playing that you want to play and that you are new in the city. When people share the same interests is easier for them to become friends.

After you create your social circle, you are ready to get women. A social circle is a powerful tool. your friends can hook you up with some other friends, so you can meet women without approaching them at bars. Maybe there are more house parties than those you think, with a great social circle you'll get invited to them and expand your relationships. You go alone to bars? It's better to go in groups, that way, even if you don't pick up any girl you are still going to have fun.

Mentalize yourself, concentrate. Decide to be happy and enjoy what you have, advance to the next step, make some friends, get some women. You can do it. Hope this helps!!

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~Everyday learning something new~