last night i lostmy virginity to my girlfriend. I'm 19 btw. It was good and bad at the same time because during foreplay i had a huge boner but as soon as i picked up a condom and tried to put it on, i would just go soft and we would have to repeat everything again. When i finally put the condom on, she was on top of me and i penetrated her but she said it was very big so she wanted me to be on top of her....but during that small talk and the position switch i went soft again. She asked me if i was nervous and if i was a virgin and I said yes to both. She understood and agreed to just cuddle for a while. The next morning we wake up and start making out and then we make a deal not to go all the way this time and then she just gave me a blowjob and made me cum after 10 to 15 minutes.

Do you have any advice on how to get more relaxed and not to lose focus?

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Aspiring PUA

This always works for me... It also helped me last longer in bed when I needed it..

Your not relaxed because your mind is going crazy so what you have to do is put your mind to rest. To do this, give it some busy work..

Do this, whenever you get nervous or anxiety count like this in your head.. 1 2 3, 2 3 4, 3 4 5 , 4 5 6, 5 6 7 , 6 7 8, 7 8 9... and so forth, You nerves should all fade away by time you get to 14..

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ah the old softy...it happens.
remember your erection is all controlled with your brain.
If you are a little nervous or slightly tense, strange things happen.
if you are too relaxed, you can be a one pump chump.
to be somewhere in the middle is ideal.

I haven't heard of Danny_pt's method of counting...I might try that myself. I have a HB8 with huge tits fclose potential soon and I am going to have to keep the focus!

Try getting hard, then putting on a condom and jacking off in it. Get used the idea of stopping, putting on a condom, and carrying on again.

Yep, I agree with this completely. I had to go through a fucking personal training session using this method because despite not being a virgin, I still had the softy problem a lot.

Also, this is kind of awkward, but practice masturbating in sexual positions. I would always go soft if a girl wanted to go on all fours, so I masturbated in that position since there's a huge difference in your body's orientation, particularly where your legs go. Practice all kinds of positions with the condom and you'll get used to it in no time. Also, try using lube. It'll cause less friction than your hand which is similar to the vagina, which increases your sensitivity and makes it easier to get aroused.

To go along with what Fuze said, I agree that any kind of math is helpful for relaxing you. I like to do calculus since that always kicked my ass when I was in school, so it takes some serious brainpower to do it, especially without paper. By the time you solve the problem you'll have been fucking her for 5 minutes without even realizing.

If worst comes to worst, I've found that having 2 beers - no more and no less - is enough to get you feeling pretty good. And if that still doesn't work, have her give you a blowjob for a few minutes, then go for it.