First thing i want to say is that, thanks for opening this...
its gonna be little bit long post so grab something to drink.

This is my very personal problem so i want you guys to know who i am first, dont worry i wont tell you my whole life story,
i am just guy with 16 years old and i am originally form Tibet (asia) but right now i live here in belgium. In belgium we speak 3 language, and the school where i go to is dutch school, but the school is in brussel( capital city of belgium) so even though its dutch school everyone speak french, and i speak only dutch so its kind a DLV. but its still cool.
So for a while i have been learning this pu stuff for a while to improve my life, its never been easy since you are in the country where you dont speak all the language, i am not saying this as a excuse its just a fact.

ok so here is the story....
At my first school before i learn all those pick-up stuff, i dont know much about girls. At school i am always the clown guy. throwing joke in the class, trying to impress those cool guys and beautifull girls. during the break time i walk around with those cool guys and stand with them. always trying to do something stupid to get some attention. before i come to school i always think how i can impress those cool guys and beautifull girls. i know that i am not being myself and its not the best thing to do but i can say that i am pretty much happy. coz i have some friends and most people know me.

So after one year, I start learning all those pick up stuff like, "mystery" "style" .....
I went back to my old school still the same tryig to impress those cool guys and girls but i know little bit more about girls, i know how to react when they act like a bitch and how to make all those small move. but i am still not being myself, but one thing for sure is that i am doing better, i got my own group at school, i got two girls who speak only dutch just like me in my group, one is really attractive and the other one is ok.
i spend my lunch time with them and i really enjoy their company and specially the beautifull one coz she is really attractive. we walk around togethere and everything, during those time i know that i am not their just to impress, i was also their to have fun and i was having fun back then...so its better than before..

So here is the problem
Then i change the school and even though i know that everything is gonna change and its not gonna be easy but that didn,t stop me coz i am making my future descision and for that i will walk through the fire if thats what i have to do.

so during that time i discover RSD and i fall in love with the work of tyler durden and the things that he do. from him i saw the real image of "pick up" and i start focusing on those rsd stuff. and its more difficult than mystery stuff coz its more about inner game and closer to reality.
So when i start my new school, I am like a completely different guy. i am not trying to impress anyone, even though my unconciouse mind want to do that i always try to avoid that. but then i dont make much friends and in the class whenever i have some joke or anything to say, before i even say the thing i started thinking like, damn may be i am sayig this to impress them then i shut up and dont say anything, so i become very queit, the guy who dont talk much, opposite of the guy from two years back. During the break I sit alone coz i don't want to follow anyone coz i think thats what chode would do and thats why i dont get to know much people except my class mate, some time when my class mate see that I am alone and ask me to join the group and i say no coz I feel like if I do, he have more value.. i know its not the right thing but i don,t know its very confusing.
so i can say that i am not the guy who is trying to impress people (may be i still am i dont know )
but I am less happy and having less fun.
I am kind a lost,
any advice will be appreciated.
thank you.
( i dont know if the post is really understandble coz its little late and i gotta sleep so didn,t get time to read it )
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