| Whenever I hit on a girl, I tend to not care at all about her--in fact its because that I do not care that I believe that I do so well. I feel that a girl is like a new videogame--the cover looks appealing, you've opened it, and so you might as well keep going to the next level until you die... However, there have been two instances in which I really like the girl. My ex-ex-ex girlfriend and the girl that I like now. Both of these instances I wasn't trying to hit on them but simply talk to them as people. The funny thing is I revealed to them my true self; the person that has goals, ambition, the unpopular middle school kid who could not even hold a second of eye contact with a girl, the guy that dates a multitude of girls for whom he does not care simply because that's the persona he has established for himself, and the guy who had to read countless books in order to be finally be the confident self and get girls. It is I guess only the true connection and acceptance of this very fact that I find to be so attractive in certain girls.
So anyhow, I was driving home and wasn't planning on hitting on this cheerleader, the fact shown by just being my true self; I was still flirting and touching her a lot--and i guess looking back I did a lot of dvh stories without attempting to--things such as stories about girls that I've dated and my dreams for the future. Anyways in this conversation I told her about pua techniques and the journey that I did to get there--and comparing girls to video games. yet she did not judge at all and thought it was sort of interesting and wondered if I could help her out with some of those books...
Anyways i Kept kinoing her and realized that I was sort of hitting all the steps genuinely... I actually did like her personality, her morals, her traits, and truly connected with her--even telling her that sometimes I have moments in which I feel that suicide is the answer--that life would be less complicated in being another persons shoes...to which I believed i would be friendzoned, yet she agreed and understood!
Eventually we started wrestling and it seriously looked like rape--lol. The doors were open in the car and our elbows kept bumping into the horn and the lights were going on and off. Eventually she said that she would kiss me on the cheek if I said sorry for elbowing her--so I threw her stuff out and told her to leave because I am going, yet she threw it back in and kept pulling me out of the car and tried to keep making me say sorry. to be honest I felt that I should have kissed her right there, but I just got out of a relationship and didnt want her to feel like another number. The wresting went on for about forty minutes until I drove home without a kiss on the cheek and didn't say sorry.
Yet I feel that we really connected--and she is the second girl out of like 60 that truly accepts me and is still attracted. I really like her, but I feel that there is too much interest on my side even though I do not show it.
I feel that I'm caring too much about this girl and do not know if I should risk it--she goes to my High School and so there is a certain level of risk; should I risk everything on a six hour conversation and go for it. or just simply look from afar because the simple fact to know that I can have feelings for a girl and care about them from afar good enough? Should I game her like every other girl, yet how could I when she has already knows how I game girls step-by-step?
I also feel that i would have trouble because of my feelings for her.
Do you think that I should just be direct and honest in an alpha manner and tell her
"Ariel. there's something that I need to tell you and its going to perhaps seem sudden... but listen to me until I am finished before speaking, because I want your full attention. Ill say your turn when I'm fully done. I... know that we dont talk a-lot. In fact hardly ever at all except for that one time when I droved you home; yet from that one car ride you know more about me then most girls would ever get to know in a lifetime. I dont know if you felt a connection... but I did, and it was such a surprise to me because I hardly feel that way about anyone. I know that I shouldn't show too much interest, especially about a girl such a short time span, because its not easy to get my interest, but you have made me throw away many of my rules. I've cut my flirting with other girls by half, think about you when I'm with other girls, and even had to go out with random girls whom I care little for, and some that annoy the shit of me just so that I wouldn't have to think about you and the moments in my car. Its cool that you dont feel the same way... but I just have to tell you. I've contemplated about whether or not to tell you. That whether it would be better to not risk the failure, that it would be better to just simply look at you from afar and know that there is a girl that I truly do like and feel connected to--but i thought it over a-lot, and realize that is not enough; that I did not date the multitudes of girls and had so much headache to simply stare at that special girl from afar and be her friend. I putted up with the headache because I wanted to find and be with her. Now I know that I put you on the spot, but regardless of what you say, its going to be ok. Dont feel any pity or bad or whatever regardless of my feelings and answer honestly what you feel about me, because anything would be better than the feeling of regret from not telling you. And it would be better to tell me now if you don't feel anything so that I can just continue with my life and live the way that i've been living. I... again just had to tell you... and yeah... if you dont want to say anything... just say that you dont know what to say... and Ill quietly leave and pretend like this never happened. Your turn.
What do you guys think? Valentines day is coming up, however, I do not give anything for valentines day and she knows this.
Any idea on how I can be with this girl that i really like?
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