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Ok so let me get this straight before i post an actual reply... You put a lot of energy into your relationship and for you it feels like she is doing so aswell. However you have no idea what she does behind your back and even if you did you wouldnt care?!
Is this because you hare an open relationship or because you have a bad BAD case of one-itis. Because this is the last thing i would refer to as "having the power".
Hi mate
What i mean by: i dont know what she does behind my back is that she has her own privacy. I give her space to have a piece of her own life, usually filled up with hobbies and stuff she wants to do. If she decides to go fuck somebody else in that time, well then, that is too bad for me, aint it? The point is, i dont care what she does. I am not going to worry about what might happen or about what she might be doing. That is a waste of my energy. I do hope she is faithfull, but i dont know. Just like she doesnt know what i am doing in my 'free time'. For all that matters, i could be fucking every single woman i encounter (and who is interested). It is called: giving space to each other. Which is very important in a relationship. All to many guys just chain their woman, like they are afraid she is going to run. Is that what you mean by 'caring too much'? or is it more a sign of insecurity, afraid that there are so many guys out there that are better then you? In any case, no matter what you do, there is always a possibility for her or you to cheat in a relationship, if you pull the chain or not. I love freedom and personal space, so i give it to her. the only thing i ask in return is my own space. I dont worry what she does, and she doesnt worry what i am doing, because we both know what would happen if we cheat on each other and get caught. I ll start to worry when i hear rumors. Then its time to confront. but until then, why should i care? Why should anybody care?
I am not in an open relationship. Then you say it might be a bad case of one-itis. But how on earth do you come to that conclusion if you have fully read my previous post?
I choose to be with her. I got a choice. People who are infected with one-itis dont have a choice. Its this one girl and no other. Not me. I choose to be with her in a long term relationship. When things go bad and i dont like her anymore, i will chooe somebody else. I think she has that choice as well. yes, a break up would hurt me. i would feel awefull to leave behind a relationship like i have now. But if this one ends, i can always start a new one and try to make it even better. I control my own life as far as i can control it. Choice is power. Having the ability to choose is having power.
And this is something that really slaps me in the face. We are talking about relationships and power. Why would you need power in a relationship? To dominate your partner? You dont need power in a relationship, that is utter bullshit. What pisses me off is that everybody wants "power in their relationship" but it seems that none of them have power over themselves. None of those people seem to be able to control their emotions, to control themselves. What a joke to then desire power over others. If you think you need power in a relationship, then your idea of a relationship is twisted. when you love the other person, why whould you need to dominate? Oh, because you afraid she might leave you? Geesh, get a grip on yourself.
I hope this explains it a bit more
.
cheers!
CHAT
