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Started thinking about this and realized a lot of AFC's probably fall into this trap. I'm not proud to admit it but I used to be like that too. I'm talking about when you're so insecure that your reality starts to become warped and you start seeing people around you as hostile almost. It starts with a string of rejections and failures. Then that slowly turns into bitterness. After a while your brain starts accusing the people around you for your failures as a self defence mechanism.
Now it's fairly obvious how destructive this is as it really poisons your personality. The funny thing is you can't comprehend it yourself when it happens to you. It can be almost impossible to accept when someone tries to say something about it to you. Your ego just makes up a thousand reasons why someone would say that, "they're jealous etc".
I've come a long way since those days though and I've learned to see that those same people I resented are actually great persons. Obviously the change didn't happen over night and I had to work hard for it but now I appreciate almost everyone around me in some way. The thing that finally helped me improve big time was making friends with a couple of people who are naturals. The one guy in particular, I did what I could to absorb some of his positive aura. He's the kind of guy you like immediately and he has a huge circle of friends and everyone loves him. Needless to say the girls are bananas for him too. After I adopted some of his manners (or rather outlook on life) my own social circle has seen some great improvements. Now I get noticed when I go to a party and people come over and talk with me all the time. Still working on my game as it sucks lol but girls are also noticing me a lot more than before.
I don't know how much this has been touched upon here or if I'm making any sense haha. I feel this has been one of the biggest steps I've taken so far that has improved my inner game. Everything is still hard to do but things have gone from "totally impossible" to "I can see the light at the end of the tunnel" inside me.
This is awesome dude. I would say: keep on going. Your game will improve and so will your inner game. If you have questions or troubles, post them. People are here to help out. And remember in those dark desperate days where you seem to fall down with every step you take: its only the strong that keep getting back up.
cheers!
CHAT
I'm keeping at it and it feels like things are slowly turning around. Even when I'm going through a rough time now I don't feel so down anymore. I can't deny this forum has helped me too so thanks to everyone here, it's one of the few places where people are actually brutally honest without being assholes. And I think many of us here need exactly that, a reality check.