Over OkCupid.

Me:
I just want to let you know that I've already married and divorced you in my mind. Thanks for all the wonderful memories. K thank bye.

Your Ex Hubby
S

HB: woah what you didnt even give me a chance

Me:You never stood a chance. "Forest Hump"?? Asian?? Jacked?? You totally copied my profile. You're lucky I don't report you for fraud...

HB: noo wayy i can't believe what you're saying right now. i'm the original jacked asian

Me:You wanna know how I know you're lying? Because Asian, female, and jacked do not go together in a sentence. So until I see you in person, you're a dirty liar.

HB:you know what happens when you assume things? you get beat up by a jacked asian female

Me: Is that a challenge? I will spank the shit out of you missy! Time and place motherfucka!!

HB: Gas station midnight

Me: Sorry honey. Have plans already for tonight (and who goes to a gas station anyways?? What is this, The Outsiders?)
How about you? Plans for the weekend?

HB: duh im a social butterfly can't you tell

Me: Well it's not that hard to tell. Either you smithies are in Noho making out with each other or down here jumping around parties. I guess I'll take my chances, hah.

HB: hahahahaha fck you and your generalizations. how do you know if i'm even a smithie

Me:student. northhampton. hmmm... (also I'm psychic).
So what else DO you do (other than make out with girls)?

HB:pillow fights, body shots, fighting naked in a tub of jelly... you know that sort of thing

Me:sounds good. let's do it.

HB: no way stranger

she's good. Best flirt I've met online so far. Any advice on how to proceed?

Whack as hell. I'd have called her bluff on meeting her at the gas station rather than acting like a scared faggot.

Oh right. You mean other than the fact that I actually can't meet up with her tonight?

Thanks for your advice. Really helpful. Good luck with your douchebag goals in 2012.

you're doing good so far, but in between having fun and flirting, just try to get to know her a bit here and there, once you can list a good 5-10 interesting things you like about her, let her know a few of them, and that you like those things about her, get her phone number, progress to texting and flirting, continue trying to get her to meet you

I agree with above post, and i really love your convo too.

Get to know her as a person, and try to meet up.

Then reaaaaaaally woo her. Good luck man!

thats actually a good opener which results vary...like the reply I got..made me laugh out loud for real lol

not tryin to jack your thread, just thought it was funny, and wanted to share...talk about a challenge:

ME: I've already married and divorced you in my mind. Thanks for all the wonderful memories..I'll hold them forever :p
Your Ex Hubby,
Motown

HB: yoou must have me mistaken with someone else...because the man i marry...if i can be convinced to do so...will have no reasons to look for divorce...even if in ones own mind...its too bad i have no memories...good luck motown...maybe u will find someone u know u will marry and tell her that...along with how she'd always be the queen of your double wide trailer....


Im just like..god damn..The younger girls got a kick out of it...this particular woman, however, is older...

I thought about responding with an alzheimer's joke, to run off on her not having any memories....but then I thought... alzheimer's is horrible and I shouldn't joke about it..so she definitely won that one lol

anyway, thought it was funny and wanted to share it with you guys

Back on topic, I too agree with pumpington...continue being funny/flirty while at the same time getting to know her, is what I'd personally do..good luck with her man!