Changing yourself? Where to begin?



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 8:30 pm 
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Hello...

I need some advice how to start to change the way you act, Where should you begin and how do you recognize the things that makes YOU and how/what should you do to change that? I don't have a problem to talk with girls, but i want to change the WAY i talk with girls and men and everybody...

What i mean by that is; the way you talk, communicate and act. People communicate their own ways.. For example: If you give a word/sentence to two person, then those two person can: say/communicate( Low/High Voice/pitch) /act indifferent ways. and so on!

Is there any good books or advice for this one?


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 9:38 pm 
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Change the situations you put yourself in, change the people you hang with, the places you go and your way of thinking.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:13 pm 
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Change the situations you put yourself in, change the people you hang with, the places you go and your way of thinking.
Could you give me some examples for what you mean by "Change the situations you put yourself in" ? :)

I'm a little confused by what you mean, besides "the way i thinking". Because when it comes to thinking differently, then its kinda hard for me to not think about that you don't want to think about, when you actually thinking about it..

Cuz i struggle a little bit to prove/belive the things i say to myself and the thoughts i giving or saying to myself is real.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:16 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Change the situations you put yourself in, change the people you hang with, the places you go and your way of thinking.
Could you give me some examples for what you mean by "Change the situations you put yourself in" ? :)

I'm a little confused by what you mean, besides "the way i thinking". Because when it comes to thinking differently, then its kinda hard for me to not think about that you don't want to think about, when you actually thinking about it..

Cuz i struggle a little bit to prove/belive the things i say to myself and the thoughts i giving or saying to myself is real.
Repetition is the way.. After enough repetition you'll start believing it..

Situations: are you approaching women? Are you going up to chicks on the streets, in malls, or just anywhere you see them?

Are you speaking with people standing in line with you at a store?

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:42 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Change the situations you put yourself in, change the people you hang with, the places you go and your way of thinking.
Could you give me some examples for what you mean by "Change the situations you put yourself in" ? :)

I'm a little confused by what you mean, besides "the way i thinking". Because when it comes to thinking differently, then its kinda hard for me to not think about that you don't want to think about, when you actually thinking about it..

Cuz i struggle a little bit to prove/belive the things i say to myself and the thoughts i giving or saying to myself is real.
Repetition is the way.. After enough repetition you'll start believing it..

Situations: are you approaching women? Are you going up to chicks on the streets, in malls, or just anywhere you see them?

Are you speaking with people standing in line with you at a store?
Ahh okay. Do you have some advice or good books on how to change your state or come into that state you want to be in those situations?


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 11:51 pm 
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The state develops itself once you been to step out of your comfort zone.. your not going to read a book and just instantly know how to get into state. It just doesn't work like that. You have to gather some courage and just jump in, its like a swimming pool, you know the waters cold, but sometimes you have to just jump right in, Or you'll never swim, after a while, the cold all fades away and it becomes natrual.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 10:12 am 
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The state develops itself once you been to step out of your comfort zone.. your not going to read a book and just instantly know how to get into state. It just doesn't work like that. You have to gather some courage and just jump in, its like a swimming pool, you know the waters cold, but sometimes you have to just jump right in, Or you'll never swim, after a while, the cold all fades away and it becomes natrual.
Yeah, and i know that. But as i said in my first post. I don't have any problems with women(Ugly or hot) or men. I don't struggle with the convo with people, but what i struggle is to find out how i can improve my or the WAY i talk with those people.

You have maybe met some good conversationalists, but have been bored? because their voice or volume in their voice makes you tired, because they have maybe a straight line volume/pitch in their voice instead of making their voice interesting by using high or love pitch, deep or light voice, fast or slow talking and so on.

I want to find out or be better at this. Its kind a hard to observe yourself and your voice and think about not to talk like that and that. And yes I'm agree that i should just jump into it, but how can that help, when you don't know how to do it?

You have to know what to do, when you get pushed into the pool? You get information on how to swim or use your arms and legs..


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 4:22 pm 
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How does that explain how babies learn to swim then?

Do your research buddy, instincts kick it.. Jump in, your life isn't at stake here. Once you jump in enough, you'll develop your own method, which makes you more unique and creative. Guys had game before PUA, how do you think they did it?

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Last edited by EddieFews on Thu Jan 26, 2012 5:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 5:01 pm 
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FIrst off you need to find some confidence. There are several ways to get that but the best way is to get experience enough to see that it is possible even for you to learn and get better. Once you have seen that you will start seeing what you do wrong.

The first thing you need to change is your fear of being in new situations. Get yourself into situations that are scary (in respect of girls) and learn to keep your cool.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 6:08 pm 
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What have situations to do with the way people talks? When I'm with a women, i don't show any signs for insecurity, stubble, infact I'm not doing any things that many other people struggles known as "Dropping eye contact, seem or acting nervous, close body language" and so on, or trying to find any things to say.. Im a creative person and always know what to talk about.

When I'm in new situations I do as i always do. Seeing around, picking up information/what i can talk about and if there is a person in that situation, i see what the person is doing and how that person act and take it from there and a lot of other things and so on..


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