I love my girlfriend she is perfect for me if i had a list she would tick every box personality wise and looks too! We fell in love fast and I attracted her in using the Mystery method, and even though i was starting out I have oneitus for her, but I don't consider that a bad thing considering she is obsessed with me. She is addicted to me I use push pull on her all the time and this made her need me more. The other night i had some of her friends over and said the girls can sleep in the bed and the lads on the floor, her best friend was in the bed and didn't know anyone so i told her to sleep in the bed and she started proper crying saying she wanted to be close to me and she lives with me now, so she can't sleep without me! I love her being obsessed with me, and shes a straight 10 and gets hit on more than 5 times a day which can piss me off!


Anyway we do argue a lot and it causes stress, she says i go cold and distant with her and i guess i do because my mind does stray to the attention i receive off other hot women. I just need to know why we have this point where we don't go crazy at each other but we both get depressed and have negative conversation or don't talk. But then an hour later were having more fun than ever. It might be to do with my bi polar. But i don't think so its happened before in previous relationships i just don't want to lose her because shes the kind of girl i would dream of having as a young boy. How to avoid the conflict without becoming beta and how do i still lead and keep her attracting to me forever basically. Fucking shit loads of girls isn't my thing you see. So please could someone help me and tell me how i can expel any negative feelings in the relationship and be a fun playful guy with her as much as possible!

Thanks Joe.

1) If you're bi-polar, that might have something to do with it. I wanted to slit my ex's throat when she flipped the switch and turned into a bitch. She was bi-polar also. And no I didn't really slit her throat.

2) How old are you? If she's under, say, 21, she's probably immature as fuck. If she tries to fight with you, hold back and don't fight her. Just ignore her and after doing this for awhile, you'll notice she grows the fuck up really fast.

3) Don't get pissed off that other guys are hitting on her. She's yours anyway. You should be proud. If guys aren't hitting on her, that means she's ugly.

4) Do something surprising every now and then to show her you care deeply. Random flowers or taking her on a surprise date mean the world to women and will definitely help you out a lot. Just make sure you don't overuse this kind of thing.

In my professional opinion you should be seeking the guidance of a therapist, particularly if you're suffering from an Axis II personality disorder. Even as a therapist without knowing the other side of the story it's quite difficult to get an accurate gauge as to what's truly going on. Unfortunately you'll likely feel even more confused asking such a question here as there are going to be a myriad of opinions that are purely anecdotal and may in fact exacerbate your situation should you choose to buy-into them.

In good conscience, as a mental health professional I cannot give you advice other than seeking help of a professional nature.

We live on a planet called earth where nothing is perfect, people spend so much time trying to change things and make it perfect when it will never be that way. Why do you think people get plastic surgery and then having to keep on getting it over and over.

If your girlfriend is as perfect as you say, don't you think there has to be some negative involved? Thats just the way life works buddy. You can't have your cake and eat it, you can't have it all.

The only way your going to lose your girlfriend is if you keep worrying about how something as simple as an argument might ruin your relationship. Take it as it is, take the bitter with the sweet and just enjoy your girlfriend as much as you can everytime you guys are together. Think of the arguing as just a way of bonding together tighter. As the man your leading your relationship so for the most part if you think arguing now and then is healthy(which it is) she will go right along with it.

You can't have it all, and things will NEVER be perfect. There will always be something to complain/argue/disagree about. Stop worrying about it, just take it as it is and enjoy your relationship.

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Telling somebody "don't worry, just appreciate things the way they are" is naive and is highly minimizing of their situation despite your good intentions. Just calling a spade a spade.

When you stop giving your own self reputation points i'll credit what you have to say.. Its a terrible way to live to look for error in ones self or others. Acceptance is the key to confidence and success. Error seekers and flaw finfers are almost always insecure and unhappy. I'm telling him how to be happy, what is it your doing?

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Too funny to dignify with a response any more than I just typed. I don't really care enough to comment because your opinion doesn't really matter. In evo psyc jargon, I have no investment in you. Kick rocks buddy:)