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You handled that situation like a fucking professional and fucked that waiter up so bad i wouldnt be surprised if he called in sick the next day! LMFAO HILARIOUS!!

"Get me a sprite and put that on the bill" You made my day man!
I definetly think you acted exactly right because thats how i would react, their business is to serve you food not councel your relationships.
I also think the girl would have lot less respect for you if you actually changed your mind and took the whole bill instead.
It just came out of my mouth like that! Didn't real plan to be rude or a dickhead.. but what goes around comes around yeah?

The funny part is that after I told him that he paused for like a second or 2 , and then went to get me the sprite

The girl I was with giggled and didn't take it as an insult or anything as she agreed too!