So I've been seeing my latest sarge and we've started sleeping together. Great girl we've been having lots of fun but last time we hung out she told me she had a bf. Now a year and a half ago I wouldn't even be posting this but I recently I ended my year and half long relationship because I caught my gf making out with another guy on New Years night. Oddly enough the experience left me feeling a little more sympathetic towards the "other guy" so to speak.

This girl I've been seeing says she's only been in a relationship for a month (I'm gonna double check that not sure if she's being honest) but all the same I wonder where should you draw the line? I've heard PUA's talk about making out with girls who have bf's and yea it's fun but pickup is a great power and I'm a pretty spiritual guy. I don't think guys should be using this stuff so willy nilly most guys aren't PUA's and just because their AFC's doesn't mean they deserve to be fucked over. What are some of your guys' views?

PUA-Me.ca: http://www.puame.ca

Well, you've already had sex with her. You could leave now and still call it a successful experience, and no one would be any worse off.

If you want this to continue, you could tell her she needs to break up with her boyfriend. I think that if you did this because you didn't want to hurt her boyfriend, you would need to keep her around after the break up. If you didn't, you would be hurting both her and her boyfriend.

Or you could screw her a couple more times, hope you don't get caught and the secret remains a secret. What he doesn't know can't hurt him.

Tell the dude

I used to have the same problem, convincing a girl to cheat on her bf always conflicted with my prior values. But I ended up changing my opinion on the matter for the following reasons:

(a) If it's not with you, it'll be with someone else. Too often people immediately place the blame on the guy who "convinced" her to cheat, ignoring the more fundamental problem of the actual relationship/girl.

(b) It'll happen to you. Values like honor and nobility are bad jokes in modern society, used more often to reinforce feminine social conventions like shaming men than to actually establish a code among people. You're only limiting yourself by adopting morals that no one else is willing to adopt; we live in a world where people snort hedonism to get their spiritual fixes.

(c) You're doing the guy a favor: I know this sounds like a stretch, but I'm thankful for all the PUAs out there who have either weeded out a bad prospect early for me, or made me realize I was about to go knee deep into a shit storm. I'm not saying you should freak out or get jealous over anything, but a red flag is a red flag.

(d) This is how it's meant to be: Bio-mechanics is god. We live in a Darwinist world, women and men are always going to be cheating. Girls being hypergamous, with guys they are more attracted to or out of resentment in a failing relationship. And guys being polygamous, with cheap hookers at the corner. Or we'll close our eyes and imagine someone else while fucking our wives, it's the thought that counts right?

_________________
My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

I think this part says it all.

I hate large parts of morality. i wouldnt hesitate for a second tbh. All of man is responsible for his own actions, so it is really up to her. If i see an opening of doubt in her relationship, i am going to dig it out.

On the other hand, i would never force her. As i said, its her decision. If she doesnt want to, she doesnt want to. Her choice, her responsibility.

cheers!

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you

I really like these ideas. It makes me think that relationships need redefining though. I mean Is monogamy still a valid view? I understand the desire for a deep exclusive intimacy but many polygamist through history have shown that you can still have an intimate relationship regardless of how many people you sleep with. I've recently went through this. I just broke up with my LTR and within two weeks we've both slept with other people. I've picked up two girls and slept with one twice. She got drunk and slept with a friend of ours. Oddly enough I'm not all that upset. She's moved out and has her own place and I think because of that I feel comfortable with it. We still share affection and we've had sex since these events. It's just strange to me that these emotions really seem to come from insecurity. I know if I hadn't slept with this other girl I'd be a lot more upset about her sleeping with our friend. Where are relationships going?

I think Pickup and the use of Birth Control is taking Human Social interactions to a different place. Is Polygamy going to be the new system? Or just open relationships?

I don't draw any lines. Single, in a relationship, married, it's all the same to me. I've ended up in some crazy situations because of this, such as the time I picked up a girl and ended up in a mmff foursome with her boyfriend and her best friend. I just go with it and see what happens. If I get caught, I just fess up to it. I've yet to have to deal with too angry of a partner.