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I wish I knew what I was doing wrong… I’m not really too much of a nice guy anymore, I’m usually more of a jerk when you get to know me but I always maintain a humble and cool attitude. Unfortunately, I know that’s my biggest problem with people. The thing is that these are traits I cherish within myself. I prefer being humble because I just believe that’s the way everyone should be and I’m just a chill guy who sits around laughs and drops a little joke or something every now and then.
The only problem is that most the time, especially when introduced to strangers, I will be that voice in the group that’s never heard. I guess I just say irrelevant things that no one is interested in talking about but if I open my mouth to say something I’m usually unsuccessful in getting anybodies attention unless one to one. When it comes to new people I mostly just laugh and smile a lot and say as little as possible. I wish I could be different but I mean at one point there was never a problem so I don’t know if I should throw away who I am and try to be something different because right now I’m practically pussy repellant.
I used to think girls thought I was cute and have been told I was by too many but now I shaved off my facial hair for a job and I think I look horrible. I’ve gotten no compliments to make me think otherwise and got rejected more often than before in the club tonight. Other guys definitely are more attractive looking than me and because I’m so mellow I know I’ll always go under the radar. I’m either never noticed or never missed. I see other dudes loud and funny getting the females attention but since I’m not that and I guess less funny I fail to get anything from anyone.
My biggest problem I guess is that other dudes exist and I’m bottom of the barrel. I can’t name enough times where I had a girl in my hands and lost her for some other guy. A lot of guys must hate on me it seems cause they always want to try and pull my girl but I never stressed it until now where I realize I’m probably never gonna get laid again unless I wake up as a new person. It’s been harder talking to girls because these insecurities make me second guess every move since I know I’m competing with someone who is likely to have better hold on a girls attention.
I just want to be able to pull girls again. It’s like a part of my personality is missing because I’m no longer able to after I thought I was just a natural. I probably just need to be psychoanalyzed and see if there is a tumor in my brain sucking up my social ability. It also doesn’t help that I’m blocked out from the world for days at a time alone in my house with nothing to do and no one to talk to. It's not even that I lack confidence but mine is dead since all this failure is overwhelming me. I’m a mess socially and the more I try the more I believe for a fact that I’m never gonna get no buns.
My question is why is my personality type such a failure in groups and an even bigger failure in keeping a girl around before another guy takes her away.
I dont think it has to do with u being a nice guy or humble. U can still be a nice guy and meet women, the key is u cant make them think they are so important to u that u would die for her(even though many of us would, lol)
U gotta have other things going on, this way u wont seem like your life is over if she dont call u, make it look like shes a luxury not a necessity for u.
But I know what u mean, I can be the same way, I can talk my ass off with somebody I know well, and then somebody new comes into the picture and I clam up. That's natural I guess, u already know how the first person is going to react to you, but u dont know how the new person will think of u.
and I also know what u mean, u think things u have to talk about are not interesting enough to people. And there are some people who will make it hard for u to talk to them, almost ignoring what you say.
Some people will be dicks, I think u see that more in high school and college. when u get out in the wordl u see there are more people around.
Also people like people who are relavent to them. if u are not something that interests them they dont wanna bother with u.
I would just try spitting out conversation, even if u dont feel comfortable. Over time u will get comfortable. your always going to be in situations where u cant just sit there and let everyone else talk.
There are a couple of good books on the market "How to talk to anyone" How to talk to women, "how to win friends and influence people"
good reading.
Like Nike, just do it, you're not happy claming up so how much unhappier could u be getting involved in the conversations. And if somebody keeps u down, fuck em, thats their problem
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