yo mate,
ok, a lot going on here
Quote:
I had some success but I never get into LTR, all i was saying is that all those PUA material teaches me how to 'fake confidence' using techniques, faked body language, canned materials etc... Once i get some success i'm never tapping my self on the back because i think like i 'cheated' by faking my behavior. I'm not saying that i made no progress, but it's relatively slow... 2 years of practice, of trial and error but inner-peace is still not yet achived. wich i think is what's bloquing my succes to score that beautiful mentally healthy girl.
About the feeling of fake. You are right. It is fake. its the point to be fake in the beginning, and it is meant to grow. Follow me in this badly chosen analogy:
Take a baby. Babies just take a shit when they feel like it. It feels natural to them, it feels like the world is ok to them. But when they grow and have a certain age, suddenly there is somebody telling them: hey little buddy, you cant just shit wheneven you feel like it! you need to find a toilet and shit in there!
KABOOM!! WTF is that? what the hell is a toilet? why do i suddenly need to go some cold plastic seat to do something that feels so natural? This is bullshit (pun not intended)! To them, their little world falls appart. And its not that they just change their behaviour because you told them once, noo. To them, it just doesnt feel right, so every once and a while, they do shit in their pants!
Eventually they get into highschool. But there is nobody in school anymore that needs to tell them that they cant just shit in their pants. it has become natural to do it on the toilet.
Pickup is like shitting. The problem is that you just let your crap habits flow. All of a sudden there are rules: body language should be like this, dont say that, do this, dont forget that. This routine is for this, etc. Ofcourse these feel fake. Those routines are fake, you didnt make them up. But, they are there to help you start up, so that crappy behaviour is filtered out until it becomes more natural. The key part here is practice until you get it. You are doing this for two years already, but always with this feeling: i am fake. this is fake. My confidence isnt growing.
I really admire your honesty towards yourself here, but forget about the fake. You are right, but its meant to help you to the next level. Focus on your success.
Quote:
Well, it's a little complicated, if i let go my 'self-awwerness', i'll be that needy desperate guy, but since i knew about PUA i also knew what i was doing wrong and tried to not appear needy or desperate. But deep inside i knew i wanted that girl badly, even though i force my self to act as if she's one of my many other options, and even fight the fear of loosing her, by repeating "NO BIG DEAL".
Dude, sometimes we see this girl and we want to get her, do her, kiss her, do her again. We try to get her, and we fail. we NEXT. But deep down inside, ALL OF US WANT THAT GIRL REAL BAD. Everybody. There is no denial in it. Suppose i am single again, and i 'lost' this girl. It stings that i didnt get her. It stings real bad, and that is actually a good thing, because you need to be emotionally involved in some way to be a successful pua. Don't force 'its not a big deal' in your head. Its not honest towards yourself. it is a big deal.
The first thing i would think next is: i have other options, but hey, i am just single again... i dont have other options.
I dont have other options!?? JOY TO THE WORLD, what an exciting time. Lets create options! I deal with heavy emotions by looking into my future. There is nothing to see yet, which makes me realize that i can make my own future. Which is cool, because its exciting to see what i ll make of it. When feeling down because of a loss (and hell, i do feel down), i know that there is work to do. And that puts a big smile on my face, because i love learning and making progress. Every one has his own methods, so do you. But its no good to 'force thoughts in your head'. Learn to deal with your emotions.
Quote:
By saying that i'm 'faking confidence' i mean that i'm not feeling confident and secure enough to act/behave naturally and get the girls attracted to me, i'm forcing some mindsets like "she's attracted to me, but she has to win me over in order to get me", but deep down i know that it's not what i really think, it's just a "technique" i teached my self to project that attractive mindset that i don't really have.Yea i got to admit that is still have those "those guys are better then me" "she's not gonna get into a relationship with someone like me", but as soon as i start having those thought i crash them like i crash bugs on my window, and start forcing a helpfull mindset.
Your feeling of fake confidence comes because of your beliefs that the things you do are fake and that it will never change. I said it before, its natural that it is fake in the beginning. dont fixate on that, focus on your success.
You never tap yourself on your shoulders when you have a success. Why? Because you used a trick? When the first man on the moon opened the door, and stepped out he said: "its a small step for man, but a giant leap for mankind". He didnt say: "Screw this houston, this is just fake. Its not real, i used a shuttle to get here. Screw you guys, i am walking home as i can see my house from over here".
You cant do sprints before you learn how to walk. My grandpa was in the hospital for months, back-hip operation. They said it was likely he would never walk again, because his leg is semi paralyzed. Just 3 months later, he is walking around the house with his... what ya call it, walking rack. He looked at me and said: i am walking. i told him: no, you are using your rack. he replied: its walking nonetheless. And he is right!
So ffs, tap yourself on the shoulder when you have a success. Cheating or not, its progress nonetheless.
Quote:
I was a victim of "you must be wealthy and handsome to attract hot girls", but what i'm experiencing right now is reenforcing this belief. I feel like how much i improve myself, my game, i'll never be like this rich handsome cool guy. My only objective is be #1 in a beautiful healthy girl's list of options, is that to much to ask?
PUA will not make you handsome. It will usually not make you rich and wealthy. your game doesnt improve because you dont let it improve. You dont let it improve because you believe that it is fake. But we all started like that. Well, I did at least. Do you think that keeping papers in your wallet with catchy lines is not cheating? it is. But i did it anyway. And i tapped myself on the shoulder when i got her number.
Quote:
I'm not usually feel like that, but this is putting too much pressure on me, not reaching the objective i assigned to myself.
I know how you feel. I am a bit like you. I always want to make the giant leap, withough taking the steps. Split up your goals. your first should be: as a goal i would like to be able to approach like it is nothing. Your second could be: i want her number. etc etc.
Quote:
Thanks for the replies guys
its is entirely our pleasure.i hope we do help out.
cheers!
CHAT
