Alright guys, I'm looking for some opinions/feedback here.. I've been putting in a lot of work trying to improve my relationships with women.. Studying the game, trying different things, putting myself out there more, working on myself, etc..

There are many different areas of the game that I have questions with, and room for improvement in, but I'm going to make this one specific.

Here is how my strategy has been as of late when going out with girls:

I ask a girl out to lunch and she agrees.. the subject of money or who is paying for it does not even enter into the conversation.. I pay and it ain't no thing

I ask a girl if she wants to go out for drinks.. the subject of money or who is paying for the drinks does not even enter into the conversation.. I pay and it ain't no thing.. in this case it can be more likely the woman offers to chip in, and if so, thats cool too, but I don't ask them to

Same thing if we go shoot pool, go bowling.. anything.. I'm paying for it unless the girl offers to chip in

BUT.. If there is a bigger price involved, like a ticket to a concert or football game.. I don't pay for their ticket.. I'll order the tickets and she can pay me for hers.. I see that a little bit different if I'm casually dating the girl..

I have a decent job but I'm by no means well off right now. Really though, money is not a big deal to me and I think that if I show a women I can take care of her and ask for nothing in return, eventually I'm going to get something out of it also. If not, I move on to the next. That is of course assuming that I decide that I want to pursue something with her.

This strategy has gotten me laid and it also has gotten women to offer to pay because I paid the previous time, for example.

However, judging by where I'm currently at with these girls, it seems like I may be investing too much into them, and they're not investing enough, and they take it for granted. Perhaps it has the opposite effect that I'm looking for. For example, the latest chick that I "f-closed" was a woman I had legitimate interest in pursuing something more long term with her, but due to many different circumstances complicating our relationship, it hasn't worked out in my favor thus far. Basically, the PUA skills I learned got me laid, but things seemed to interfere with the fact I wanted more from her.. I did put in a lot of work and came out of pocket quite a bit when we did stuff together.. but that specific situation with her is a whole nother story (a very good one at that.. it was basically a WIN and a LOSS for me at the same time, I'm still dealing with it lol)

I know there are a lot of chumps out there who are broke and unable to do these things for girls.. Thankfully, I'm not that guy.. I'm successful and am continuing to work on myself and career, and I want to let them know that..

So.. what do you guys think? On the topic of paying for dates.. What effects does it have if you always pay, or pay most of the time?

The only alternative to my strategy that I'm considering would be like if we're out for drinks.. Rather than picking up the whole tab.. I'll do something like.. "I'll get this round, and you get the next?" type deal.. That might be better.. Lighter on my pocket book, and they also have to invest..

Ideas, criticism, feedback welcome!

I you invite, I think you should pay. If the girl invites, she should pay. When I'm invited for drinks and I suggest to go see a movie afterwards, I pay for the movie. If it gets too expensive, I would consider doing cheaper things. I don't split bills because I think it's bad manners. If a guy asks me to chip in, I pay the whole bill and don't date him again. However, if you have dated for some time (getting a LTR), paying by turns is fine by me.

[quote="Nadine"]I you invite, I think you should pay. If the girl invites, she should pay. When I'm invited for drinks and I suggest to go see a movie afterwards, I pay for the movie. If it gets too expensive, I would consider doing cheaper things. I don't split bills because I think it's bad manners. If a guy asks me to chip in, I pay the whole bill and don't date him again. However, if you have dated for some time (getting a LTR), paying by turns is fine by me.[/quote]

I agree that if I ask, I should pay.. I have no problem with this.. I just wonder about the impression it gives..

Asking to split the bill is tacky, and I would never do it.

The problem with this is.. "if the girl invites, she should pay".. Girls NEVER initiate the dates lol.. It's always me doing the approaching, getting phone number, calling, asking to go out, etc.. LOL.. In theory its a great idea, but in the end, I'm always paying, by this reasoning.

My main thoughts with this is.. If the interest is mutual, and things are going well, eventually the woman will reciprocate

I wish to add something. When I get invited and I don't want a second date, I also pay.

[quote="Nadine"]I wish to add something. When I get invited and I don't want a second date, I also pay.[/quote]

Interesting. :) So I'm assuming that only applies to the 1st date?

Right, do you fancy a certain type of woman who doesn't invite? If you always invite, I think she should pay the second and forth date and so on. I would initiate it, but then again, I invite.
Yes, the other thing is just the first date.

hehe, very true.

_________________
I have to return some videotapes...

[quote="Nadine"]Right, [b]do you fancy a certain type of woman who doesn't invite? [/b]If you always invite, I think she should pay the second and forth date and so on. I would initiate it, but then again, I invite.
Yes, the other thing is just the first date.[/quote]

I suppose I do. This specific one always makes me pursue her.. and since we slept together, things have gotten too complicated.. we work together.. we didn't communicate our intentions, it was in the heat of the moment, so to speak.. she had just gotten out of a very long and serious relationship, and since then I've given her lots of space, and I'm trying to focus on other girls and working on myself.. the last time we went for lunch, she paid, but we haven't talked very much since then.. I've kind of broken contact from her, and she hasn't gotten at me.. perhaps shes just not interested anymore, but I do know that she is the type that is pursued.. but the whole time it's been like 90%, 10% lol.. it would be much better if at some point it got closer to 50/50

[quote="Defy"][quote="Nadine"]I wish to add something. When I get invited and I don't want a second date, I also pay.[/quote]

hehe, very true. :D[/quote]

lol thankfully this doesn't ever happen

If you feel she doesn't do enough effort, perhaps it just shows in the paying behavior instead of the paying being a problem itself. I'm quite the newbie, but I'd guess there is not enough attraction. A short, fun date makes me more excited for a second one than a date on which I had the chance to see everything I'm curious about, but if this is the case, it could be many things.
I have one female friend who typically gets invited and doesn't pay, but I know she has paid for a guy she liked, but kind of pushed and pulled. She lets guys pay because they'll do it anyway.

[quote="Nadine"]If you feel she doesn't do enough effort, perhaps it just shows in the paying behavior instead of the paying being a problem itself. I'm quite the newbie, but I'd guess there is not enough attraction. A short, fun date makes me more excited for a second one than a date on which I had the chance to see everything I'm curious about, but if this is the case, it could be many things.
I have one female friend who typically gets invited and doesn't pay, but I know she has paid for a guy she liked, but kind of pushed and pulled. She lets guys pay because they'll do it anyway.[/quote]

I totally agree about the short fun first date than one that goes too long.. I do know better than that!

the thing is that I have lost the attraction.. we had about 4 or 5 dates and up till the night we slept together she was very attracted. things were going great, I thought. perhaps I showed her I liked her too much, or she is just simply out of my league, even though I dated and slept with her. it was a great learning experience and I'm proud of the progress, but I have a lot of work to do :)

Perhaps she's just not that interested. Or perhaps she regrets sleeping with a colleague? Like an afterwards anti slut defense? Anyway, many women out there.

currrently semi dating this good girl who just happens to be genuinely broke at the moment--i invited her to cinema to watch a film that i want to see--[as an anti flake device i always invite them to things i want to see/do and will do whether they turn up or not]--im getting this from her--''maybe in a week or too when ive more money,,---ive also got the same re buying her a coffee---a coffee is 2 euro, cinema is 8 euro--i can afford it its not a big deal i dont know why she tries to make it one--i dont consider that by buying a coffee or a cinema ticket i have bought her as my own personal sex slave.....anyway if i wait for a week until shes saved up 10 bucks lol---the film that i want to see will be off screen--NOT GOOD

[quote="Nadine"]Perhaps she's just not that interested. Or perhaps she regrets sleeping with a colleague? Like an afterwards anti slut defense? Anyway, many women out there.[/quote]

it certainly could be both of these, along with a combination of others. How does one get past the "defense" lol? honestly, I had no intentions of sleeping with her that day, I wasn't planning on it at all, but.. it happened. but I dont think she's a slut

[quote="Herne"]currrently semi dating this good girl who just happens to be genuinely broke at the moment--i invited her to cinema to watch a film that i want to see--[as an anti flake device i always invite them to things i want to see/do and will do whether they turn up or not]--im getting this from her--''maybe in a week or too when ive more money,,---ive also got the same re buying her a coffee---a coffee is 2 euro, cinema is 8 euro--i can afford it its not a big deal i dont know why she tries to make it one--i dont consider that by buying a coffee or a cinema ticket i have bought her as my own personal sex slave.....anyway if i wait for a week until shes saved up 10 bucks lol---the film that i want to see will be off screen--NOT GOOD[/quote]

excellent strategy of inviting.. I like that and do the same

one thing.. taking a girl to the movies is not too good, unless she's your girlfriend.. you should do something with more interaction

as far as the money goes.. can't you just tell her not to worry about it and that you've got it covered? have you tried to ease her in that way?

its also possible that she doesnt want to lead you on by you paying for her stuff, if shes not really interested.. but I don't know the extent of your relationship, I could be wrong about that one.