Why do I have a hard time bringing out my true self?



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PostPosted: Sat Dec 31, 2011 10:08 am 
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With my girlfriend, I'm myself, I'm full of game, I'm interesting, etc. I only found my inner self, my true self with my current girlfriend. I always feel like I'm acting when I'm trying to open up other girls, gaming others and shit. Why is it like this?


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 31, 2011 10:24 am 
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Because you've built enough comfort with your girlfriend so you feel like everything you say will be rejection proof, whilst with other girls you're afraid of rejection so you play it safe.
The way to solve this problem is confidence in yourself (I am interesting) and a portion of I don't give a shit. Bad reaction? Whatevs, my next topic will hook because I am interesting.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 31, 2011 10:33 am 
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I think I figured it out, there's less tactics with a girlfriend and I'm better at relationship game but if anyone has anything more to say, please do!


P-Style, I guess that may be true but it's not a conscious thing so I can't tell if I'm like that because I fear rejection or I'm not confident because I do feel confident and interesting with other girls but I feel like I'm acting on my game


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 31, 2011 10:46 am 
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I think on a subconscious level P-Style is probably right. I dare say you're yourself around your best mates too? Why's that? What's the difference between them and someone you've just met? You've got months and years of comfort built up between you. Have you got a friend that you haven't got anything in common with really? I know I have, but we were in the same form at school, and we're still good friends now, still feel comfortable around each other, despite not having all that much in common - the only factor that makes us so open with each other is that we've got 15 years of friendship behind us.

P also says you need to believe that you are interesting. This is something I have recently tried to consciously identify, and it does help. The thing is, sometimes, you do a lot of stuff that is interesting, but because it's just a routine part of your life, you don't think of it as interesting. I sat down, and wrote a list of all the interests I've got, all the hobbies I do, all the regular social meet ups I take part in etc. and actually realised that there is more going on than perhaps I thought. Might be a useful exercise.

And the "portion of not caring" thing is bang on too.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 31, 2011 2:57 pm 
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Dude, I used to wonder the same exact thing.

When I was with my girlfriend, I was the most interesting, amazing, spontaneous fun guy on the planet. Then while all alone i'd be closed off.. This would also happen while im out with a group of friends, I'd approach women no problem. BUt while alone, i'd be all reserved. I still battle with this to some degree but i've made huge improvements.

And the reason is... Comfort.... When you with your girlfriend, your living in the moment at peace and comfortable. Your not worried about what she might be thinking, your just chilling, being yourself and enjoying yourself. With new girls, there are a whole lot of factors that come into that you may not even be consciously aware of. " Whats she thinking?" "whos watching?" " Is she even all that hot" -... The list goes on and on.

Being yourself revolves around, just being in the present moment, with very few concerns and questions. Just being. Once your approach around 1000 women, you will become a lot more of your "true self" with opening new woman...Same with starting anything new.. At first is rough then things begin to flow naturally.. Like a new job

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