hello!

I'll try to make the long story as short as possible.

The girl is definitely hot (a '9' I would imagine) and well clever as well.
I first saw her a few months back, when she's started working with me. It's a completely different department and, on a professional level, we have no reasons whatsoever to interact with one another. That means, our 'relationship' was limited to saying 'hi', or having a small talk somewhere on the staircase or sth. So, over this period of time I hopefully managed to picture myself as a friendly, potentially interesting person - some of the assholes at my work couldn't even be bothered to look you in eyes when you pass them, so you get the idea - I'm not this kind of sad, boring fuck.

A few days back I had an opportunity to give myself at least half-a-chance with her, since we had this christmas party for all the employees. (don't want you to think of me a sad, desperate bloke who's been waiting praying for this chance for like a year or sth - been keeping myself busy and let's just say I pounced on an arising opportunity, not caring about the outcome).

just to let you know, I don't drink, so over the whole party I was able to hold a quick, smart conversation with whoever came along, or whoever I've decided to approach myself.

Things started out slowly - sat there, had a chat with my colleagues decided to approach the target, who was sitting with friends. It was like a group of 5 girls all together and I've been chatting them all up on an absolutely neutral subjects, swapping places a few times, being well comfortable and not showing any particular interest in any of them.

The idea was to get my foot in the door, if you know what I mean.

I left them on a good note, went away, chatted away with a few groups of other employees (mixed groups, males only, girls only too) + I had a nice, obviously more personal 1 on 1 chats with two HB9 who I get along with really well and would imagine they might have a thing for me.

Went to the dance floor with some girls, the target was there. We've been dancing, swapping partners continuously, with myself being the to decide with whom I'm gonna dance next. Made a few contemporary dance moves around the target, she's been getting a lot of attention from the sad bastards, who are almost like dribbling looking at her. She seems well mannered and comfortable around men as well, so she would dance with all of them. Then again, I got the idea she's being flirtatious, rubbing against me (gently, at the end of the day - it's still early and it is a company's christmas party), looking me deeper in the eyes and teasing me a little.

I shoot off, chatted away with everybody again. At around midnight, I've decided to approach her again, she was sitting there with her female-friend. As I've approached, her friend was just leaving and the target seemed happy enough I came along - at least she would have somebody to keep her company.

I didn't intend to, spend too long, but the conversation just kept flowing. We started of slowly, with an 'around the work' topic. Even then, I have never allowed the discussion to get too technical - kept talking about the way she feels working like that, doing what she does, interacting with people, asking her opinions on things.
We moved on to more interesting subjects, found out a few common interests. I had a chance to drop in a few DHVs, exchanged some IOIs, kinoed each other from time to time.
2 or 3 times some probably jealous male-twats tried to interfere, but managed to handle 'em in a hopefully humorous and well mannered way.

Getting to crucial stuff.
I mentioned I'm doing a sort of amateur, part-time modeling and she figured (rightly so), I must have some nice pictures on my facebook. She pulls out her mobile, looks me up, sends me a friend request straight away and comments something like 'you look really good in this one!'. At that stage, I explain me being up for anything got me in some seriously funny situations. Telling her about being completely comfortable with my sexuality, I had no issues with having a photo-shoot dressed up as a girl, with all the make up and shit. But, posting them pictures on the web caused some of my 'friends' to ask me questions like whether I'm gay, bi or what. Btw, it is well funny how far can some people take it, based on just one fuckin' picture...

She looked worried asking me whether I'm gay or not (I take it for an IOI). At this stage it goes sth like this:
Me: no, I'm not gay - you can feel free to ask me out for a cup of coffee (said in a slightly cocky way)
Target: well, yes... you know, unfortunately I can't (seeming worried).

Between the lines, you know the reason for that is a boyfriend.
I turn it around, telling her she should have told me half an hour ago, it would save me some time and bother. Luckily, I said, at least the drinks were for free... (all said in a cocky, funny way). Then moved on to a completely different subject (boyfriend topic never came along anymore) and continued a cool conversation.

I've studied body language, so each time I noticed she's not too comfortable I smoothly switched the subject to make sure she's enjoying the conversation and having a great time. I was leaning in, she did the same, followed my moves and tried to prove herself when I was negging her or saying shit like (I think it's Styles idea): no, I don't like that - you get -10 pts for that!

I think she tried to test me a number of times with acting a little upset or offended by what I said, but I couldn't care less and went on with my act.

To exit, I've invited her male-friend over to join us. Introduced myself, held a 5-10 minutes conversation with the 2 of them (they've known each other for years) and than left saying something like: 'please excuse me, but I'll let you enjoy the company of other guests as well'.

Went to chat with other people, after half an hour or so, while chatting to HB8, the target looked me up and waved goodbye. I smiled, waved back and returned to my current conversation.


During the weekend, we've exchanged some messages on FB - neggin' her a little, she complementing my pictures and flirting mutually.
I come back to work and within an hour I get an email from her with the picture of us that somebody took during the party.
Flirting a little, she mentioned people gossiping about us after the party.

I'm on holiday now, might send her a message on FB, but would really like to ask you guys how to deal with the situation?

Just before leaving from work, I went over to her department, said goodbye and wished merry christmas to all the girls (including target), giving them small presents and they've called my amazing. Managed to leave on a good note yet again.

I won't be seeing her for the next 2 weeks and even at work I won't see much of her either.
She's obviously got a boyfriend, don't know how serious this thing is. Plus, to complicate things even more - we're working together, so both of us would like to keep it as professional as possible.

Normally, I'm not down for breaking relationships. This time though... it's been ages since I've been moved by a girl this strongly. Polish girls have this fucking tendency to cling to guys, no matter how big assholes they are. I enjoy my game, being single and all that shit, but at the end of the day - she seems like the one worth making an effort.

I understand, she might night something more to convince her to break up and hit it off with me.
Given the circumstances, I wanted to ask you guys what kind of advice could you give me?

She's got birthday coming up, which would be a good excuse to send her a message to remind I might be interested and all.
How would you go about it? How would you provoke situations to meet her, especially after work. Would you recommend asking her to go with me pick up a present for my female-friend?
What's the best way to make her attracted, show my interest, without freaking her out. On the other way, how to avoid being classified as a friend? I have certainly no intentions listening about her boyfriend and the problems she might be having in her relationship.

Sorry about the volume of my post - wanted to give you a good insight into the situation. Would like to hear your opinions on the way I handled the situation from the beginning, but having said that - there's no point in crying over spilled milk, so I suppose even if did mess some things up, I'd still rather hear about what would you do in the current moment.

Take care all of you, thanks in advance for your opinions and looking forward to hearing from you!

Respect!

post too long .. narrow it down .. say what is important ..

by maknig the post this long you already investd to much.. i think you care too much

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

awright, let's cut to chase then!

there's a girl at my work, similar age, who I had a great connection with during last week's company's party.
we do not work closely together (basically, the only common thing would be the same building), so I do not have any official chances of bumping into her - I have to figure it out my own way. regardless, she's showing her interest by chatting me up via facebook or email at work.

the problem - boyfriend. how serious - that I don't know.

question / need of advice - how to handle this situation? how to provoke a chance to spend time with her, how to keep up our online relationship? how should I show my interest and build up her attraction without scaring her away, but simultaneously avoiding being classified as just a friend?

can anyone, who has successfully performed in this sort of situation give his insight?

for the ones interested, who don't mind investing 2 minutes in reading the whole post, I would love to hear your opinion / tips on how I handled multiple sets, AMOGs, interpretation of IOIs and all the other things that could prove useful for this or future situations!

cheers!

Maybe you are trying too hard in PUA techniques?

Chat with her in FB, ask about her life, you are supposing she has a boyfriend or known for sure?

If she doesnt has you are screwed.
If she has and talk to you, try a more direct approach (cooky) and declare your intentions, after that if she STILL contact you...

I'm not that bothered about the techniques, don't worry about that (no te preocupes Clavo)!

it's just that I find this situation a tiny bit more complicated than facing a typical boyfriend-rejection while pulling a girl in a club.

don't know how serious their relationship is, whether they've been going out for a month or living together for 3 years - facebook doesn't give you all the details unfortunately... anyway, she's got a boyfriend - that's final!

try to picture yourself in her shoes for a moment - assuming she's got a thing for me, she still can't be to open and straight forward about it. at the end of the day - all her co-workers know about her relationship and have also seen us getting along above-averagely well during the party and afterwards. she'll look like a slut, if she jumps straight into my arms (bed), won't she?

polish.boyfriend.flrty



find out how long the relationship is and how strong/good? if they live together.

drop it. polish girls are only good as "friends with benefits".

thanks for your remark whitetea!

please, let me be the judge of whether to drop it or pursue her. the same goes for 'friends with benefits' - I'll keep my right to have a different opinion.

you go out there, you're having fun, you're 'scoring', but every so often you come across a girl that makes you want to work for it a little more, that is a bit of a challenge. of course, you might drop it and go back to picking up 19years old HB8s in the clubs, but even though I might do that in the meantime, I still don't believe a PUA would drop out of a situation, just because it's not that straight forward. remember, I've got my foot in the door - the question is how to take it from here?

If you have a real desire for her, and going into this that way, you're going in at a disadvantage.

Anytime you encounter a woman who isn't a stranger, that you're going to have to be around if it turns out she's not interested (or not interested and unresponsive to your manipulations)- you've got to test the waters asap and make it known you're actively into her so you can test her reaction.

If you can't make the move soon after you've noticed her as something desireable- you just give her more and more opportunities to form an assessment of you will close your chances off. Not to mention that if you are hesitant in this- it may be an indicator that you aren't as bold as you should be.

Oh- and go in having made peace that you may find her unreceptive and that you're likely gonna see her and have to interact with her in some way in the future.

One of the little known secrets of getting turned down is that how indifferent you seem to it (especially if you will interact with the person after-the-fact) gets noticed by not only the one who turned you down- but by the other women witnessing it- or who are made aware via gossip. It doesn't necessarily translate into a direct pay-back for you, but it makes you look really good- and more importantly- manly. Everything you do has indirect ripple effects that could open up other pairs of legs for you.

Women are really observant, annoyingly so, and they make a lot of conclusions based on things that guys would never give a second's notice. Anytime you're around women, you may as well be on stage, such is the reality of it. Use it to your advantage- this is war, after all.

cheers Androprimaris!

just to let you know - I'm keeping my head cool and not letting myself get carried away. obviously, disappointment is always involved, but I'd be much more gutted if I didn't give this one a proper go.

coming to what you're saying:
- being bold enough shouldn't be an issue, really. just put yourself in her, girl's position - you meet a guy, have a great time with him and with all your friends witnessing are positively responding to his sort of direct approach. with everybody knowing you've got I boyfriend - you just don't look too good.
- other thing - you've only spent 1 hour with a person. I might consider myself a bit preselected, since we're working together and she can probably assume I'm not a psychopath of some sort (unline if we met in a club as complete strangers), but that's it. she doesn't know much about me, in other words - how sound a person I am and how much more there is to me than what she's just experienced. is 1 hour enough for her to make a decision, unless her current relationship is very open, with no strings attached whatsoever?

let's not get too focused on getting turned down - we'll get to that, should the moment come, staying positive

key point:
- given the circumstances (work, boyfriend) - how to show my interest, without any signs of neediness? how far can I push it without breaking it?

cheers!

Good- you're game.

When I stress the time thing, I say it because if she's open to you (or any guy that's not her bf) you can find out right away and therefore not waste your valuable time. But there's another reason I say it- every time I've observed a chick find a new guy when she was already with another guy- it's always been with a dude was was really forward and didn't waste any time.

Rather than go on and on about concepts and/or more philosophical things- I'll suggest something you can just go do: Test her personal boundaries real savvy like- savvy? You've gotta know human body language pretty well, and know the ridiculously obtuse signs women give to show interest/disinterest- you know what I mean. You likely already know this stuff.

Just go in, and without doing anything overt or obvious, feel her out. If you can't do it in 20 minutes, it's a bad sign Don't touch her physically, just carefully put yourself into her comfort zone, test her personal space and enjoy it. So long as you are genuine and relaxed doing it- she'll get that you are doing something fun and be that much more likely to be receptive to your forwardness. If you get signs she's not interested- you know what to do- forget her. If not- keep up the subtle pressure.

Oh- but most important Richard- have fun while you're doing it; she's on the menu.

you seem like a smart lad Androprimaris, thanks for your replies!

I might as well try and provoke a situation when I get a chance to speak to her for a short while at least (it's not that easy, when we pretty much never work together) and try to test her comfort zone - I know what you're on about!
if she's sound with that, I suppose there's nothing left to do but ask her out to a non-work environment, should that be for shopping for a gift or any other, non-date-like reason.

for the time being, I'll keep her interested with my witty messages and hopefully get a chance to see her shortly after christmas period!

take care lad and we'll see how it goes!