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Hey,
Help me out guys. I'm new to doing this sober.
Bar/club. HB 8.0 in the dark so probly a 7-7.5 in the day. Great face.
Escalated really well, talked for a bit. Then a great song came on so I grabbed her onto dancefloor. Fun dancing, pulled in really close. It was on. Making out. After 10mins of this or so I asked her "lets get out of here." she said she couldn't leave her friend i said "take her with us, my friends and I are leaving soon we can go somewhere and hang." She was still resisting but it wasn't a "no ur done" more a "no u got to work for it."
So I then kept the makeout going and complimented her multiple times. This went on for another 10-15 mins. Everything went downhill after that.
I saw a change in her right before my eyes as I was losing the set. The makeouts were getting stale and the compliments too one sided and they got old. Her eyes didn't have the same lust in them. I saw them fade before my eyes and I didn't know how to stop the bleeding.
I had to go see my friends and she said she had to go to the bathroom. I was chatting up her gf after touching base with my buds. But I noticed that HB 8 didn't return.
It was near the end of the night so I got my jacket and saw her talking to another guy. I acknowledged the guy with a respectful nod and leaned in to her telling her I'm leaving and if she'd like to come (at this point i knew it was done but what the hell, experiment right?). She said she was going home with her friend and "thanks, bye." So I bounced.
I wasnt interested in getting her number. I wanted to practice same day lays in the club if possible and I needed to work on my physical escalation skills (I used to talk a lot and not get in there).
This is what I'm thinking about my mistakes.
• makeouts got old fast! Making out on the dancefloor with the same thing over and over just lost its luster even for me.
• Should I have put her hand on my dick as I was dancing dirty with her? We were really grinding out there for a while, like dirty shit lol. I thought I was getting laid for sure. Maybe escalate that way?
• Should I have moved her to a couch or a bathroom?
• I should not have complimented her so much. I said like 4 compliments. I think it made me look hungry. Is push pull the answer? How do you do that at this stage?
Any help/insights appretiated.
Aww man, you had it. If she gave you the "you have to work for it" then you have to jump into alpha mode. Giving her compliments was the exact wrong thing to do. The game isn't over til it's over. You had her interest, and while she might have been thinking about her friends a little bit, she was grinding and making out with you. The thought of going home with you had crossed her mind before you said anything.
I wouldn't have used the "let's get out of here" on the dance floor like that. I would've moved her back to a table to isolate her and DHV to build more comfort. From there, go on a instadate. After that I would try to get her back to my place to (fill in the blank, get a drink, check out a cool vid, show a cd).
You're doing well, bro! K-closing is good. And sometimes you just can't get a SNL for whatever reason. Keep going!
-Ruggedized