I’m a second year psychology uni/college student in the UK. Psychology has a 70/30 or even 80/20 female/male ratio. This is something I really have not taken advantage of. I had a girlfriend all last year so I didn’t try in my first year but we split up over a month ago. She goes to a different uni. However since then I’ve made out with 3 girls in clubs which hasn’t lead to anything more and I got the third base with one girl from Psychology. I didn’t fancy her that much and it has been a bit awkward since. I have spoken to a quite a few girls but this has been in clubs/parties/drinking environments. I know I rely on alcohol too much.


It’s hard to just talk to people in lectures. There’s often a lot of space so not sat directly next to someone and a lot of people stay in their small groups. There are a few girls I occasionally sit with (friends) but they don’t know many other people and I always sit with one guy friend. He is a nice guy but not much of a “wingman”. He looks like Hagrid from Harry Potter. Would this put off girls?


QUESTION – How should I meet these girls on my course, what should I talk about, what else should I do? How do I get talking to them? I’ve read lots of PUA stuff but a lot doesn’t apply to these sort of situations

thanks

While Hagrid isn't the biggest problem, he's still a problem. I remember staying away from people like that in college since anyone who associated with dirty, unkept-looking people were perceived as being just like them. It's shallow, but it's the truth.

You said you have a reliance on alcohol, so I am assuming you aren't thrilled with the idea of randomly approaching a girl in class. One thing I like to do for classes is to strategically plan my seating arrangement to be "conveniently" placed in a group with a girl I want when the time comes. This makes it easy to get to know them and take things outside of class.

Otherwise, an easy time to speak to them would be just before or after class when most people are walking in/out of the room. Casually walk near one of them and make a funny statement about the class (I usually rely on sarcasm here), then try to transition to speaking about something more fun/exciting than school once you get their attention. Make them laugh and the battle is half won.

My final idea is a bit situational and might not even work for you (and will probably get berated by most people on these forums), but I've had a nice amount of success with it. You know that game for Android/iPhone that seemingly everyone plays: Words With Friends? If not, it's a multiplayer Scrabble type of game that virtually every female with a smartphone plays. If you see a girl playing, slap her with a cocky/funny challenge and have her add you to her friends list to play later. Play a few words and talk to her through the chat system, and make sure to keep things light and funny. After a bit, tell her you're sick of talking on there and ask for her number to text and to "make things easier". At that point, you've got her number and can continue from there.

So you're not confident in randomly approaching these girls i take it. Surely there is opportunities where it wouldn't be rude to approach them, i.e. Before the lecture, after the lecture, in the break, sitting next to them and just talking to them, etc. You're not going to get anywhere with them if you don't make the first move. Dismiss your friend while approaching, you don't need him while you're approaching girls, you can go back and talk to him later.

I believe your answer might be in social group mastery. Approach these girls as friendly, organize a study group, or just start asking them questions on something you might be having the littlest of trouble with. Lear group mastery, and once you get into the group, you can turn around and start approaching an individual girl. The best tactic is a work by Dr. Jonathan Conrad Groves, called Disguised Hypnosis, it's all about social group mastery, it's utterly brilliant work, and will help you in assimilating and growing groups. It's a longer type of game, but it's an effective type of game that can let you be a man that all the girls like.

Otherwise, you can just do small talk with isolated women when they're away from their groups, and eventually lead to going out on a date.

thanks guys, good solid advice!