Hello Everyone,

I am a 28 year old man, I believe I am above average on looks, I hold a good job in the banking industry in a small European city and I used to live alone leading an attractive lifestyle with my girlfriend.

Begining of this year I had an unfortunate event where my uncle died unexpectantly. I took this loss as well as I could but I moved for a few days back with my parents at my hometown. After 3 months my one grandfather died and the next month my other grandfather died. This lead to me coming for a longer period of time back home to help out with the funerals and what not. My father is mostly out of the country so since my mother lives alone I feel she needs a hand. A two months ago my cousin dies after having knee surgery and again the family is in ruins. After that my faithfull 13year old dog becomes sick and can't walk as he used to so now I permanently moved back to my hometown to take care of him and help my mother out. Last but not least, last month a 7 year relationship with my girlfriend crashed and burned. I was going to propose to her in 2012 but God has a fun way to get to you.

So after all of the above, I stopped going out, lost weight, threw away all those years of gym, live with my parents, my social circle is very small since we had common friends with my ex and in general my life was and maybe is put to a hault since I feel anxious most of the time when I look at my dog because lets face it he is going to die...soon.

Now looking past my pain I need to get my act together and start having fun whatever the case. I have been feeling pain for so long and when the time comes to have fun believe you me when I say that it is an unbelievable feeling. Thats how I got to appreciate things. So I went out and bought a few pieces of clothing so I could renew my style. This is an ongoing process though and I still have alot ahead of me. I also started going out with a few friends that have girlfriends and their girlfriends bring along their friends and so we have a good time and I get to talk to girls.

In general I am a very shy guy. I don't do much on my own, I never talk to women that I don't know and God knows I have approach anxiety that could kill me. However, once I meet a girl or I get introduced to a girl and feel a bit comfortable, I turn on the charm and James Bond takes notes from my slik talking and cool bright smile and the raise of eybrows. Its like a snipper shot and the girl is down.

My problem is that I have learned in theory alot by reading this forum but can't apply them due to approach anxiety. Also I am so shy that I can't do anything BUT yesterday I grew the balls to go and register at my neighbourhoog gym where there are alot of girls I might say. I took a deep breath, walked in where a nice girl greeted me. I have anxiety for 1 minute then it passed but a was a bit nervous. I talked to her with a smile and very politely and she seemed to liked that but I kept my act together not to feedle about with my clothes and what not due to nervousness. So this story says that I am not that a big wuss if I get a bit "angry". The reason I was a bit "angry" and overcame my fear was because I washed my car and it started to rain, I arranged to enroll to the gym with a friend and he bailed, then another friend bailed, then another friend arranged to go out with two lovely girls and they bailed so I said F**K IT!!!! I am going on my own.

Now this weekend I am aiming to go out to the town where I went out the last couple of weeks with my friends and their girlfriends and their girl friends nut I can't keep doing this week in week out. I can't keep asking if they will go out and deepend on other people. So I want to increase my social circle so I have more choices and I need to get over this AA!!! I was thinking of starting a new facebook profile and start adding everyone I meet. Will this help?

Got any advice people?

Thanks for reading through my boring post and sorry for the length of it. I will be updating this thread with each move I make...

Cheers!

Hello again,

so on Friday I was invited at a bar with 2 of my friends and 2 other girls they meat at the gym. The ladies were very nice and talkative and fun to be with. I would say HB7 for both of them. One girl was foreign and the other local. So we went to the bar and they were waiting for us there. They introduced me to them and we sat and ordered. In the begining I was looking around and the 4 of them were talking and laughing and sometimes they engaged me in conversation as well which I responded but without talking much. The local girl that was sitting next to me was taller than me with her high hills and to be honest I would understand if I heard her say that KingOtto is a nice guy, but he is shorter than me so no game. However, she talked to me alone looking me in the eyes very confidently and talked and talked showing that she enjoyed the conversation, plus touched me on the shoulder everytime she laughed. She even said to my friend that I was a hunsome man the next day. She also complaint that I was a bit harsh with her foreign friend, and asked my friend if I had something with foreigners This was a very stupid thing to ask since everyone was teasing everyone, I was within limits, my friends were even more condesending with their jokes about the foreign girl but the local girl said that I was the harsh one. I don't think that this is the case and neither do my friends so maybe it was something to do with all 3 males talking to her foreign friend at the end of the night. What do you guys think? Is she into me or is it just her talkative type?

Later on that night we went to a club. I had my chance to talk to plenty of women but wussed out. My friend told me we will not leave untill I talk to a girl so I did I walked up to a girl and told her "Can I please pass through to get my jacket?" hehehe cheeky!!! So she said ofcourse you could pass by and I did a small joke asking my friend if the purse next to my jacked was his and she laughed and that was it.

On Saturday again I had plenty of chances but never talked to a girl because I am a wuss. Even though that I know a girl was HB3 or HB4 which will make it really easy for me, I never talked. I girl was dancing very nice in the club with her 2 other girl friends and I was looking at her from time to time. I saw her look at me and I think she danced even more knowing I was watching. She was an HB6 but with her dncing an HB7 I had no clue what to tell her plus I had to walk across and stop her from dancing in order to talk to her. However, othe 2 HB7s were standing next to me and I never talked to them.

Even though I am very friendly with the people I know, even though I might be the heart of a table with girls and guys, even though I said I should say hello to everyone at work....I still don't....it is like this stupid thing is embeded in me that chooses the people to say hello to!!! And I am trying...its just a fucking hello to a male/female colleague and its not anxiety that is not allowing me to say hello....its something I cannot figure out.

Anyway, last but not least I will be going to the gym again today and my motto now is NEVER BURN BRIDGES....I need to get more social...

By now I have come to realise that not many are reading my "journal" but its cool with me since I express myself on this excellent forum. So here goes...

Yesterday didn't go out. I went to the gym though and talked to a guy my cousin knows and so I introduced myself. Doesn't mean anything but I just went for it since I am trying to be friendly with everyone. So I did something I wouldn't normally do.

Also yesterday a colleague came to my desk and asked if I would have lunch with her and so I went, no problem but that is not an achievement for me since I was already in my comfort zone. She just seemed interested in me which i nice but I want new girls and not colleagues.

Today I am going out with a friend and another girl. I hope she brings along one of her girlfriends. Again it is a good way to practice. I m not that much into this girl, I would sleep with her once or twice but I am not sure if she is looking for a relationship or a good time. So tonight I might try to complement her and talk to her in a smooth manner without thinking match, try to better my natural game even though I will be doing so with a girl I already meat. We will see....