I used to come on here a fair bit as a result of being friendzoned - denting my confidence and self esteem. For the past six months I have worked on myself without actually really dating much (I just wanted to focus on myself).

BUT

I went out on friday with this girl - a few drinks alot of laughs, a bit of touching but nothing too much. I went out with her following dinner with mutual friends (everyone else left after dinner) her and I stayed and had a few drinks in this lounge bar. So it wasnt a date DATE.

Anyways at the end of the night we hugged three times ( a bit pathetic from me maybe) and she said we should meet up again before Christmas.

I texted her at the end of the night just to make sure she got home ok. She said "Yeah, thanks for a lovely evening x".

So Im just kinda worried that the three hugs may have put me in the friends zone and the word lovely - I kinda hate that word its akin to the word cute (for me). Im now worried about callin her and asking her out totally one on one.

Anyone been in a similar position? Should i call her? or is this some kind of friendzone territory? I dont think i can handle another friendszone issue.

If you don't escalate fast enough and don't show that you can be sexual, you may have been put into the friend zone

I don't know much but opinion based on my last girlfriend which was something similar, you should try to go for a run.

So she stayed with you after the dinner, she hugged and she asked for another night before xmas, I think you should text her about another day, maybe a coffe, a cinema, I don't know, just ask her out now. When you get to her, give a kiss on her the forehead and give her a hug, she will feel confidence from that, for the rest of the time with her, try touch her on the arm or the hand if you are sitting next by each other when you talk about her, if she really wants something with you, if the things get tense give her a soft kiss on her lips, if she wants more she will do the rest We are all about the first action, they always do the rest!

I learned this from my last girlfriend even though I'm still uncofident with aproachs and small talk to get to know a girl.

We were like 2 weeks talking, hugging before I got the balls to kiss her, and I feel bad now because I know we ended because of me being too late kissing her, removing the feeling she had from me in the beginning. But I learned, kiss her soon enough or she will leave you. That's it, I learned a big lesson with this last girl ...

hmm friends zone again. oh well. Ill wait for her to call and go out again cos I cant be bothered with the whole friends zone thing. She is a cool girl but it kinda sucks being friends with someone you like and wanna get down with.

I definitely wont be calling her.

Hey! You miss 100% of the chances that you don't take. Don't give up right away!

Has she told you that she only sees you as a friend? Does she flirt with you? Always smile around you? Touches you without realizing?

I'd give it one more shot. Go out with her once more and see where it goes. Flirt with her and check her reaction. If you have been friend zoned, she'kll probably feel uncomfortable with your advances or that she brushs it off.

You've been out twice. She's had 2 strikes, she has one more.

Hi,

We felt more comfortable on Friday than we had ever done. We touched each others arms, punched each other a touch, high fives (her grabbing my hand when all i had intended was a high five). The full on flirting isnt there, but it wasnt there from me either. She has NEVER not once said that I only see you as a friend or youre my best mate etc. (could be stringing me along).

The funny thing is she phoned me a month ago but I didnt return the call for three weeks (Part of me wanted to call her but part of me thought no). She was the one who asked me whether i was going to this dinner thing and I said yeah she said "Good, cos im going also"

Everyone seems to think that there is something there between us (which there is) we both know there is chemistry, tension and some kind of "romantic" feeling about it when we're together.

Its taken me a while but im prepared to lose her to get her. I just need one more chance I think. Just worried about calling her up so soon and asking her out. Maybe give it another week.

When your friends start saying you should start dating, than it's because you really should, when people say that is because they know both of you like each other, promise us a thing, text her out NOW!

If you don't suceed, learn with it, make it a profit for you and try the next girl that appears in your life, that's what I learned too in here.

haha definitely not gonna text nor call her. Besides i hate texting. Ill only text if I am running late etc.

Its funny because my friends are like It is so obvious you guys like each other and dont know why nothing has happened yet. Up to me huh?

Yep it's up to you
C'mon, call her than, in a evening, what does she do? Same school? You could go to her and ask for a coffe or something and see how the thing goes..

Mate, we're not at school. We're both workin adults. We live an hour or so away from each other but work about 20 minutes away from each other. So weekdays is usually the best time.

We're past having coffees etc.

Hi Guys,

Further to what I had discussed above, I called up this girl yesterday and were going out again tomorrow. We spoke for an hour on phone (a bit shit and could harm chances) but it was a whole heap of flirting and just havin a laugh.

After the phone call I flirted a bit which she kinda took and flirted back a bit.

Anyways I have a feeling this may be my last chance saloon tomorrow evening. I need to ramp up the sexual stuff. HOW? I dont wanna freak her out (although she seems to have this impression that im shagging loads of girls and out everyday etc) but I want to infact I HAVE TO kiss the girl tomorrow.

Any advice how to ramp up the sexual tension etc? Going for drinks and dinner then drinks again

Make sure you are NOT sitting opposite her when you go for drinks. To build sexual tension you will need kino so I suggest you sit next to her.

I'm not into the whole routine crap but I would suggest you do some sort of palm reading. You could make it fun and while stroking the lines of her hands then go silent and look up at her really slowly. Then say "This line here says you like it doggy style" but say it with a slight smirk.

Another way is try try and sit closer than normal. If she is uncomfortable with this she will move away, if not, she'll stay positioned close to you.

Yeah I expected that will come up - I will definitely be doing that. She does appear to be defensive in her stance when talking to me but I guess maybe that comfort thing isnt there. Awkwardness maybe.

I will definitely sit next to her. Sometimes its difficult because of how the bars are set out i.e. no couches just shitty chairs, or armchairs etc.

I think ill be better with the alcohol.

Rogue - its not being a pussy its more needing advice as this is a bit more different than a girl I just met yesterday etc.,

well you are headed towards the friend zone but just not yet. you need to make it clear you are sexually interested in her, sometimes being an asshole will help, i don't mean a complete asshole but be blunt about it. I would straight up tell her your intention.That you are interested in her for more then a friendship.

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