I seem to have this problem quite a lot whereby I try to ask out a girl who I have been having obvious flirtatious banter with and they either don't respond or turn me down. I posted a recent thread about a girl who said she couldn't date me as 'it was complicated' and then when I said 'fine-lets be friends' - she asked to meet me.

Perhaps it comes across like the battle for them is won too easily or maybe (being in sales for too long) I am too quick with it or pressurising..

I just wander if you should be aloof and if wanting to meet the girl - its better to maybe just 'suggest' meeting i.e. 'Might be nice to see you sometime'.

Might = perhaps I want to see you but I'm not that bothered
Sometime = and if I do, I don't care when it is


Any thoughts?

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here to learn.. thats all.

Hey CS,

First off, saying "Let's be friends" is asking for admission to the friends zone. I doubt you wanna go shopping and hear tales about her bf. You wanna get down and dirty so cut that one out. I'm a big fan of using "we" and "double entendres." We builds up the illusion of you two being a couple and double entendres get a girl thinking (girl I recently met takes kickboxing, I used to teach martial arts so I said we'll get in some privates lessons soon).

"Might or sometime" should get ruled out too. Girls like a man that takes charge. All about trial and error... you'll learn what works and doesn't.