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Im hurting guys. I miss her, try not to show it. It seems like shes kinda dating another guy. she doesnt write to me as often, Seems like all the attention i would get is going to someone else. we were cool and would text and stuff but when i found out thru facebook that she was kinda dating this dude i couldnt help but be a pussy and i wrote her a sad face. she asked whats wrong and i never wrote back. later on in the day she was with him but she decided to text me and tried to start a random conversation, i ignored it, she wrote me again two hours later and just wrote my name like if she was trying to get my attention, i never wrote back. I dont kno what to do,i dont kno if by ignoring her im going to make her miss me more (which is what i want) or if its just going to push her away (which is hard) i dont want to hurt, but at the same time i want her, and its hard when she writes to me, its like i feel like she cares about me, but not the way i want her to. i really could use some advise guys. thanks for reading.
You are doing the right thing. If you do reply keep it simple. Don't start giving her the attention you once gave her without the return of attention she once gave you. Take the pain do not verbalize it to her. Let her deal with the confusion of your energy and your actions. They enjoy mystery. Apart of them wants you to be man enough to walk away. Another wants you to stay. Like all female traps what they think they want is the wrong answer. You start initiating she will step away.
My story:
I broke up with my girl HB9 (mind you two way crazy in love type relationship.). After the official break up I spent two months engaging in conversations on text and phone but a toned down version from her. Not wanting to let her go. Hoping that by showing her I was there and I loved her all superman style it would keep her. It allowed her to slowly move away from me without the pain of really loosing me. With each week her attraction to me was lessening and her conversations getting rude. I was taking her bullshit but she finally crossed the line. I told her we need to stop talking for awhile. She switched very quickly told me I meant alot to her. Started texting out of the blue. Then i went back in about a week later. Her bullshit returned. She thought she had me. I told her I will disappearing for awhile. If she needed a pick up from being down spirited or wanted to celebrate something big in her life I was there. Besides that I'm out. A few weeks in she texts to say she is thinking of me. A trap I sensed. I told her that was good to read. No questions about how she is no conversation started. More weeks pass. How are you text. I respond with I'm good and what I'm working on. No conversation started from me. More weeks pass. She calls me. We have a nice conversation about her career. A weeks go by. She text me that she misses me. I ignore the missing part and deal with another part of her text. No conversation started. This goes on for two months. She reaches out to me. I do not reach out to her. Near the end of the two months I begin to engage in a text conversation that she initiates.
(Mind you, in my heart I'm hurt over this girl. Wake to thoughts of her. Go to sleep with thoughts of her. Pops in my mind constantly. I would love to go back to the way it was but I know that is not happening. Better to eat the pain. At least I have her respect and I can look myself in the mirror )
So... I business trip takes me to her town. She is not there. She is out of town on business but being in her town opens up a natural flow of conversation and text. we talk daily. Text daily. There is still a underlying reservation on both sides but the unspoken energy is saying "we still care". I come home. Decide I will start initiating conversation. I text day1. Slow response but the response is heart felt and full of unspoken love. I text day2. Slow response smile face. I'm tempted to ignore it but my gut tells me it's a test. I take the shit test. All the while thinking that once this little test is done I'm going back to no contact rule. She must sense this the next day and engages me in another text with more attraction undertone. This is where I am at today.
The moment I started initiating conversation I felt her pulling back. I have accepted this relationship is over. I'd rather feel her attraction to me through the mental energy with no conversation than feel no attraction from her and talk all the time.
I think if I took the no contact only respond technique early in the break up (like right away) I would have her full attraction still. The two month where I kept around cost me. I was able to regain ground when I broke rapport.
You are doing the right thing.
CHAT