Is it true that saying something with confidence and assertiveness is the main and most important thing? Obviously there are a great deal of ancillary things as well.

It just seems to me that a lot of the creepy or weirded out vibes a girl gets are from lack of ability to act, or fear, not necessarily from what you say or anything of the like.

Confidence is a prerequisite for becoming awesome at it but it will not get you there all by itself. There are other things to consider too...

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

It's not the most important thing but "confidence" does include a lot of ground. To be able to say things with confidence is huge and to be able to convey confidence with your body language is also big and will give a big boost to your game. However, I'd say mastering body language overall is the most important thing.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

problem with pick up is that a lot of people think the "lines" or "routines" will get them women. Thing is, those are great tools and they should be acting like training wheels. In the end, is your confidence that will get you the women.

For example, all girls that hit me up are the girls I sexually escalated with. And I didn't have lines or routines to do that. It was all just being in the moment, and having the confidence to go for it and also leading it.

Regarding body language: One feeds the other. Self improvement will naturally improve your body language. Improving your posture and physical movements will lead to other improvements. Working on both at the same time is a good idea.

Although this is another case where one can feed off of the other, I'm not sure if people become 'awesome' due to confidence. No amount of confidence will give me enough awesomeness to play the violin with the Boston Symphony. Those guys who are in the symphony are confident because well . . . they kick ass at what they do.

There 2 different types of 'confident speeches':

1. Ignorance confidence: It's the type of confidence gained from LACK of knowledge. A fat 200lb guy picking on a smaller guy, not knowing that he's a State Champ Boxer would be 'Ignorance Confidence'.

2. Knowledge based confidence: This comes from knowing you shit.

With #1, you're stuck with the ignorant gig. You're a blowhard. You're either a hit with people more ignorant than you or you're the jackass of the group.

With #2, you have flexibility. You can play smart, dumb, ignorant, and anything in between. . . all for the purpose of creating a stronger bond.

The most important thing? It's to CONNECT. Whether it's your agenda or her agenda, you need to make a connection. If the situation calls for being reserved and laid back, you do it. If it calls for some boisterous talking, then you do it. How do you figure out what to do when? Observation . . .