Retyped this thing about 5 times. I normally don't post long ones - thanks in advance for any insights.

Despite having a few options, I'd like to move things along with one girl in particular. She's 26, solid 8.5. Met her online. I sent her 2 lines and she responded by asking me to do something 'wholesome' the next day. Date 3 is on the horizon (not set up yet).

Date 1: Technically I had flaked on her once already. She blushed constantly when we first met. I've since judged that to be a good thing. She was really reserved; got some kino in, and made out with her at the end.

Asked her out a few days after date 1 and she said she had school the whole week but was free the next. I incorrectly took that to be a slow blow-off. She works full-time and is in grad school full-time.

Instituted radio silence for 2 more weeks instead of 1, thereby not taking her up on her availability the next week. Then re-engaged. She called me within 10 mins of my texting.

Date 2: Meet for drinks in her neighborhood, she buys; we extend it to dinner; then walk her home. Make out again but I see no opportunity for getting to her place. Overall just a good date in general. Increased # of IOIs.

Things that are fuckin me up:

-She never texts/communicates unless it's about logistics
-I don't really text her or call her either - only to set stuff up
-There's a strong 'good girl' vibe and I'm not sure if it's real (she is signed in to the dating site nearly every night)

I've already told myself 'relax she's nothing special'. Any other advice is appreciated

I would agree that's a problematic chick. However the firs thing that sticks out is when you said

"she said she had school the whole week but was free the next"

Normally this is the Kiss of death. A chick postponing a meet up for a week , despite the putative valid reason, is almost always the end. The fact that you got her back by freezing her out with a nice move so cheers to that. You correctly interpreted that as a blow-off, but your good game and intervening circumstance salvaged the situation.

Despite that being well played, I can almost promise you, especially considering that you said she was online every day, she has another guy at the top of the list she saw when she wasn't seeing you. Magically that didn't work out so now your the runner up she now has casual time for. That's some inductive reasoning on my part. but id still bet money this is the case.

Secondly you mention she texts like a regular guy,- all logistics no flirting. That indicates shes trying to maintain some emotional detachment. Combines with the fact shes not letting you physically escalate very far leads me to believe shes not super interested in you other then a time filler until prince charming comes about. Do you pay for her dinners by the way, or otherwise entertain her rather then yourself?

Well the good new is you still may have a chance if you flip the script on her. You need to raise your buying temperature and DHV. You can try flaking on her again and various other tricks. However I still think shes going to be a pain in the ass and a lot of work.

Here is what I would do. Some PUA book I read called this the "Supernova date", and Paul Janka also uses this same technique. Your next date is inviting her over your house for dinner. So the sexual vibe is understood as likely more then a friendly make-out section. Your not paying to entertain her anymore, if ever, without the quid pro quo. Its like the blow me or get blown out solution.

Your current dating trajectory may end up with her committing to you but the problem is that its on her time and escalation scale, I would rather take back the frame even at risk of losing the girl.


hope this helps

Damn - I really appreciate that solid in depth analysis.

Yeah - I have theorized that there's got to be another guy in the list. Hmm...

I should clarify that we have had some flirty text exchanges and once I 'warm her up' she'll start w/the smileys and shit. It just is not as frequent as other girls I know.

She has actually paid for everything we've ever done, except for the last dinner. She paid the first date, drinks the second (like $40), so I picked up our cheap dinner. I kind of try to let her run her mouth...being the entertainer is something I've learned to keep in check or tamp out completely.

Supernova date...that's massive! She lives kind of far, but it's doable (can take 1.5 hrs in rush hour). That's been one of the challenges of meeting. But I like this idea. Damn...

ya its a tough case, I'm really not too sure. If shes 90 mins away and shes paying a lot then shes must have more interest then I assumed so that's good.

I believe this advice still sets the tone for how I need to proceed, though. And I hope others will take something away from it. Perhaps her buying temp is higher than we know, and she is being coy.

I need to get this girl out to my neighborhood.

Has been 1 day since our date. I plan on hitting her up in a day or 2.

I ALMOST completely agree with you here.

The fact that she blew Teknine because of school/work is just not acceptable. Yes, some people have incredibly busy lifestyles, but it's kind of difficult for someone to convince me that she's going to be doing work on a Saturday night at 11 pm (just to mention a case).

Like I always say, when women are interested they make things happen. Even if the date is going to be for an hour or two she would have agreed to meet you if she wanted to.

You also said she's online almost every night. Not a great sign. Women, especially the ones you meet online, get really wrapped up when they meet someone they are truly interested in.

In my experience with online dating (I've done a lot of it), after the first date, if a woman had fun and really likes you she will only go online to check YOUR profile. I guarantee you that if she's online every night, most likely she's interacting with other men (sorry.)

In my humble opinion I think she's playing the field. She's going out with several guys until she finds the one she wants to invest time and energy on. Women do this a lot, so don't be surprised.

She sounds cold, and distant, so unfortunately this might not be a win for you.

I don't think you've done anything wrong so far, I just think that probably she was just not into it. It happens, so don't feel bad.

Invite her over for dinner as detox advised. I've done it, usually after the first date, and the results are good. The trick is not to make a big deal about it. You have already made out with her, so there's some kind of rapport in there. It might be enough for her to accept your invitation.

Remember that no matter what, you should not get emotionally attached to this particular woman. She does not seem like she's emotionally connected with you, so even though you may get to have sex with her, that's as far as it should/may go.

P.S. You said she lives far. That may be the cause why she's not getting invested into the interaction. Some women simply can deal with being in a long distance relationship (yes, they see 1.5 hours as long distance).

Good luck.

_________________
Bansario IS BACK!!!

My hobby: www.megaboing.com
If you enjoy the reading, please "Like" it