Hey guys, not gonna bore you with my background since I'm sure to be assumed a noob anyway, haha.

I have an interesting challenge before me these days. Without getting too far into the details, I have this ex-girlfriend of mine. We broke up last year, I took it very badly AND made the mistake of showing it to her. I was like the epitome of AFC. She was just like that "one" for me (I'm sure at least some of you know what I'm talking about, I'm not going to bother explaining further.) and half the reason I got into the game in the first place was to try to get over that whole situation.

Anyway.

Lately I have been talking to her again, and regardless of whether I am going to get into this or should even be considering it, I was wondering what you guys think the "rules of engagement" should be for this situation?

With someone you've already had sex with (and had a pretty intense sex life at that) does that mean you already have attraction? does attraction go away over time?? I mean obviously I ruined a lot by acting like a total desperate loser when she broke up with me (and obviously was acting very low value to cause the breakup in the first place) but does that erase it all? Do I just start from scratch? and if so, is it even possible now or do you think I'm in permanent friend zone?? etc etc???

Any thoughts are welcome, I figure this should be a pretty interesting thread.

HAHHAHAA, Dude, I know exactly what you mean. That thing happened to me about two years ago. We're pretty cool now, but man was I such a TOOL! So after finding out about PU (about a month ago), I thought of asking her a few questions about our sex life and where there could be improvement, since she's the only number I have that could help.
After the initial 'Was I good'? questioning she replied 'Only if you provide the other person'. She wanted to set up a three way! Dude I'm telling you I was a fuc*ing retard after we broke up! You know cringey stuff!

So in my opinion I don't think the attraction goes away, especially with your first 'love'. It just kinda lays dormant. However, I'm not going to wake it up again! Too much fun sarging, plus after seeing how I could be and seeing me now, I know which one I would take!

In short, forget new LTR with her. You can use her for a casual sex, pivoting and such a stuff but forget serious relationship. The reason why you broke up will come again and this has no future. It would help if you described what was the reason for breaking up and how exactly did you react but if you had good sex, you can have it again. Of course you need to create attraction again, even greater then you had before. Do it by DHV-ing yourself by having other girls in you life, show her you are not needy chump, you have great and interesting life without her but you are willing to fulfill her sexual needs!

But don`t allow yourself to fall in trap in falling in love with her.!

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Natural supreme

Nono, I wasn't asking if my own attraction for her goes away (I already know the answer to that) but rather if you guys think hers for me does or not.

but yeah haha, it's almost downright embarrassing how girls can make you act sometimes.
Hm. Not that I'm trying to justify me wanting to date her again (which I have to admit, deep down I do) but the reason we broke up doesn't exist anymore. I was just an immature idiot that took it totally for granted, and then towards the end I saw it slowly slipping away and started acting like the neediest chump ever. Breakup ensued, and then I did nothing but call and call and call her (only to get her voicemail of course) The few times we did talk I would burst out in tears. I tried getting information from her friends cause she for damn sure wasn't giving me any - she pulled the "we just need a break" bullshit and then more or less stopped talking to me... and the list just goes on... basically anything wrong you could do in that situation, I did it and more.

like I said, it's almost embarrassing how lame I was, but I just couldn't help it. I cared about her SO much(and still do, if not moreso) I had come to rely on her completely for my happiness, my self confidence, etc... and then poof! it was just gone. I missed her so much that I literally could not stop myself from trying to get in touch with her (I knew in my head that everything I was doing was so counter productive but for some stupid reason I just couldn't help myself.)

The whole situation was so fucked up, and I haven't been the same since. I don't know if I'll ever be the same again, if I'll ever be able to enjoy a relationship that much again, even if it's with her. I feel like when I was dating her, I was "obliviously happy" and now after all this shit, I'm paying too much attention for it to ever feel like that again... if that makes sense to anyone but me.

I think that about covers your questions about my breakup with her, let me know if I should clarify anything.

Regardless, the point mainly was not so much about my specific situation (although any advice on that is appreciated of course) but moreso the general theory on how things are for people you have already once had a sexual relationship with. Certain steps obviously aren't involved in this type of situation, and other steps need be emphasized, etc? For example, wouldn't you already have comfort with her, and thus isn't it a lot easier to fall into the friend trap? there just seems to be a shitload of pitfalls in this situation, which is why I think it is a special challenge.

Discuss. lol.

Ok its safe to say she is not attracted to you, even if she is whats wrong with doing 'extra' attraction?

Ok first thing you need to know is that when going back with a girl you have to come back a totally new man, which you already said you are. Good. You have to show that (in comfort/trust building)

Ok next identify what the worst and most turning off trait you had when you were previously with her/breaking up with her.

For ex-
a PUA named Jack on another forum is currently gaming a girl he used to know. She used to think he was creepy. So now hes taking it REALLY slow and building attraction and comfort with her BUT keeping the kino, SOI's and sexual tension to a bare minimum since he has to anhilate his old self from her head.

Now all you have to do is a normal set but this time try NOT to to excentuate that trait that is bad in any way.

AND Most important, YOU MUST KINO AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. KINO KINO KINO. Play wrestle etc.

Remember though her comfort with you has reset to 0 basically. So you have to start the kino escalation again. Wait till she is comfortable at one stage before you move to the next.

ex- dont touch her legs till she is comfortable with you touching her hands, and dont touch her torso till she is comfortable with the legs, then same applies fot the face, she needs comfort with u touching her torso. It SHOULD be wayyy faster than normal with her.

Hope this helps, PM me for more help if needed.

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Ratio theroy...

good sex? Thats all you will get from "THE ONE" now she's gone and she will never feel for you the way she feel for you before. Attraction tho will always be there but now she could figure it out whats real and whats fake. YOU LOST THAT CONNECTION. once its gone its GONE. If i was you i would just be friends use her as a wing or fuck her once and a while. If she become your FB you will end up hurting yourself. So my advice DONT FUCK HER. she know what she want and its not you. Dont get mad. Now at some point she might be confused and really attracted to you and do want to have that "great sex" agian but thats all. Artist

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Life's an Art

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu ... =382875915

If your going to take the advice of artist at least game her to the point where you could fuck her, then just walk away.

If you come to decision that its not a good idea, practice with her. Knowing how to break outa the friend zone is like having a huge safety net for all your messed up sarges where you ended up LJBF.

Plus revengefucks are awome fun

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Ratio theroy...

It goes away. However, in every situation there is no rule set in stone. When you see, do not creddit her with any of her good qualities of the past. Don't assume that she is as wonderful as she once was. Give her nothing. When you make her start out with a blank slate, it is the same as when you pick up a stranger. You will have to go through DHVing, frame games, compliance testing, etc. to bring her to a place where every thing you do is being absorbed by her. The benefit to having already known her and havingg had her is now multiple threading will be a piece of cake. DHV, intice her, stir her intrests, suprise her, and always keep your lead, your frame.

But as you give her nothing, no credit for anything of the past, she ought to do the same for you. Assume that anything you have thought you've accomplished as of yet has been forgotten. However, you can keep her mind rolling by bringing up a memory in conversation that ties together tension and emotion. A good rule of thumb: If it hasn't happened on this date or if it hasn't been brought up on this date, then it hasn't happened at all. She will not be sitting with you while engaged in converation, think of all of your past qualities. She will be searching for new ones in your present actions, tone of voice, and general outlook. If you can give this to her, she will become intoxicated and will be yours.

EVERYTHING IS NOT A GAME remember he is talking about the one.
My advice advoid this DO NOT TALK ABOUT THAT PAST TRUST ME! unless its good. Like something fun you guys did together but the past is not a comfortable subject to talk about. Bring back emotion and tension will just be awful.
Now this i believe she will look for your present quality. What have you been up to since you guys broke up? What kinda girl are you into now? How you job status? How life after breaking up with the one?.

When i told you that you lost the connection of being a item again is that dude YOU GUYS BROKE UP. I have been there Twice in my life so far. My 2 LOVE haha. but you learn to forgive them and create another love with another girl. It suck wasting time with a girl tho.

Now when i said advoid the past memory you guys had, and i told you the attraction will always be there is because you guys did things that made yall BOND. That will always be there. Its like taking her virginity, you will always be her first

Now past memory mean GOOD AND BAD so while you are talking about the past or how good you are now SHE WILL BE THINKING damn He WAS like this and that. Why did we broke up?

I can forgive but i can never Forget.

Artist

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Life's an Art

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu ... =382875915

Doing the above is NOT a good idea IMO I'm positive that Jack person is not where he wants to be with the girl and wasting his time too....seems he's been at it for a while

Based off the initial post i can gather there he's not very experienced with this situation and is getting nowhere with this girl So slowly escalating is rather pointless and a huge time waster. At the rate he's going he'll never make a move due to fear of it being completely over with this girl if she rejects him. Going SLOWLY wouldn't be much of a change from what he's doing now which is..... falling deeper into a thought depression over her
You need to get her alone and get her to close her eyes and quote "PULL The Trigger"

The longer you wait the window of opportunity closes
you must have forgotten girls can have any dick they want so don't let it end up someone else's

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I'm almost as sweet as lemon juice... almost

In bringing up past memories to stir up her imagination, I believe that Artist agreed with me. If you choose to stir her memory, bring up a pleasant detail, something that brings in emotions of adventure and excitement, something positive to shed light on the both of you now. I warn you not to do this more than once. Do not be percived as a person dwelling in the past, but one who enjoyed his life all the way up to here and now. Leave the rest of the night to let her imagine that being with you will not only allow for more of these past adventures, but excitement even more dramatic. Let her create these ideas in her mind. Good luck.[/quote]

Well, since I'm assuming that anything I think I have accomplished so far has been forgotten, does that mean I also get the benefit of everything I have messed up has been forgotten too??? Wishful thinking, lol.
So it is possible to feel THAT strongly again for someone else?

I don't feel the need to forgive her, because it's not her fault, it was allllll me. I'm also messed up now in that I don't feel like I could ever experience that greatness again.
You're partially correct. I'm not afraid of it ever being completely over because even if she rejected me I know we would still be friends (as awkward as that may be at first) and would still care about each other. I'm more afraid of facing the daunting task that is getting all this right in one shot, and doing it before some other guy does. This causes me to over think and fuck up and come off as total AFC. Pretty vicious cycle.

Furthermore, how do I get out of the thought depression? It gets seriously bad at times.

This is an interesting thread because i'm in exactly the same situation.
i.e
Split up with girl earlier in the year, now chatting, i'm actually due to see her next weekend.

I'm just going to see how it goes but I think it's going to come down to this: DO I HAVE SEX WITH HER OR NOT? Because i think she'll stay over at mine.

If I DON'T then that's probably it and we'll stay just sort of friends
If I DO then it opens a whole can of worms.

I'm enjoying the PU game too much to get back together with her, but i'll prob sleep with her then deal with the consequences!

PartyBoy, if you have the chance to have sex with her, go for it. You can figure out which way you want to go with her after that. Since this is an ex anyway, and I'm sure you've had her before.

I just want to point our claire if you read into it a little more youill see that Jack's exactly where he wants to be BUT HE IS AN EXAMPLE of how he has to identify what he did wrong and do the oposite. In jacks case he was too sexually forward with this girl he didnt give it enough time and she wasnt comfortable when, as you say, "pulled the trigger"

What I said there was that he needs to identify what he did wrong! Like jack did for his girl, he identified that he moved to fast. Sorry to come down hard on you for an honest misunderstanding but this technique has worked for me and many others time and time again when getting out of the LJBF zone or a ex-relationship. You have to smash your old frame with the new one.
Do that THEN DO THE OPOSITE in your sarge. Say you were too clingy and obessive, run a jealousy plot on her and do lots of take aways. Say you were borring and repetitive, take her on exciting dates that evoke multiple emotions.

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Ratio theroy...