Before I present my problem, let me give you a little background into the relationship. I first met this girl in high school a couple years back. Right off the bat, she showed a lot of interest. Regrettably, I made the mistake of asking her for relationship advice instantly putting myself in the infamous "friend zone." I would continue to dig myself further and further into the zone not realizing what I was doing. Obviously, she moved on and got a boyfriend.

Despite my unbelievably stupid mistakes, she continues to give me IOIs that I feel indicates she wants to be more than friends. A couple months ago, I decided to try the near impossible task of getting out of the friend zone. I believe my attempt has been met with success.

Now, this is the part that is confusing to me. Although she still has a boyfriend, she allowed me to take her on a date of dinner and bowling. She had a great time, and I was sure this time to not drive myself into just being friends. I also got the feeling she isn't too happy with the relationship she is currently in. When we were done, she invited me back up to her dorm room. When we got there, she said she just had to have me listen to this song her ex-boyfriend made for her. At this point, I was becoming extremely confused! Why would she show me this? After listening to the songs, it was as if she was waiting for me to make a move, but I never did. She seemed a little disappointed when I only gave her a hug and left.

Today, she posted this on Facebook: "Do you want someone to consider you? Or, do you want them to just know you." Of course I could be over analyzing this, but doesn't this logically fit in with last night?

Anyway, what do you make of this situation? Am I just over thinking things and still in the friend zone? Did I make a mistake not attempting to go for a kiss? What the hell do I do?

Asking her for relationships advices is a plus in my book ,you are the one disqualifying , you are saying you have other females attention, and it’s a good way to create jealousy, so don’t worry.

Now my thoughts on this girl, she isn’t girlfriend material, I don’t know your intentions, but be careful.

Normal behavior this is one is a big bitch, you invited her to dinner and bowling, weird ok but we could let this one slide, because you are friends, but inviting to her dorm room to be alone in her bed. Don’t think exist a bigger I.O.I.

Now let’s go to the fun part, she doesn’t feel any remorse, really love the touch, she showed something her boyfriend did to a guy she is hoping to bang in that night. Come on… this is fucked up. Can’t say this surprise me, she probably showed you the song, so she could feel more excited kinky in my opinion, she probably loves doing this, WHAT A BITCH.

She was hoping you to kiss her, but since she can’t be that easy, she would ve said “Oh I have boyfriend, I shouldn’t be doing this, im crazy, maybe we should stop”. Fuck this shit it doesn’t matter she isn’t that naïve to invite a guy friend who she flirts in to her room.

No you aren’t in friend zone, you are the probably one of the more candidates she is thinking to cheat on her B/F. And my guess this girl doesn’t leave her b/f she just fuck dudes.

When I find this type of girl that cheats in her boyfriend l, I usually walk away or make fun of them for being such slut. But hey this is what I believe, im totally against. But since you have no problem considering the other idiot.

Yeah you were a moron for not kissing her. You are not friend zone. Again, don’t know your intention with this girl, but don’t get attached.

She obviously liked your attention but she certainly is treating you like a serious person. If this is really bothering you then end it by making a move and likely getting blown out or just ignore her and make her come to you, or not.

In any case Snake is right, she is likely a shitty or immature person who is toying with you.

This probably makes it worse, but the guy who wrote the song for her isn't her boyfriend. It is some guy she used to have a thing with but now her current boyfriend won't let her talk to him.

What exactly do you mean by a serious person, Detox?

Although here's yet another problem: I live in a real small town with not a whole lot of girls to pick from. I would say probably within 100 miles there isn't a lot to pick from. Thank god I'm out of here in 6 months. Anyway, if say I did want to be the dumbass to go for it for shits and giggles, what should my next move be?

Game somebody else...

I'm a pessimist, I admit it, but I do so because I hate wasting my time on girls who aren't interested. And this looks to me like a girl who is looking for a therapist. That being said, the thing that keeps a guy out of the friendzone is physicality. You have to be physical with her, hold her hand, put your arm around her, etc, and who knows if you'll have anotehr chance to take her out and do all that.

Hang out with her again, and don't be a pussy when it comes to physical contact. Hell, even just closing the distance between you two as you talk helps.

not a serious person as she is inviting you to her house to ostensibly to "hang out" and expecting you to not do anything, be just friends, or act surprised if you make a move.

Again so you have a shitload of comfort with her and little attraction which is the classic friends zone trap.

If it were me she might consider me aggressive asshole or blow me off because i was an unwanted sexual threat but she would be forced to make a decision. She is playing you on all sides and it doesn't sound like shes taking you seriousously, that was my point.

Damn, this is why you guys are good at what you do.

I've decided I'm going to let her come after me, if she does. If an opportunity to hang out does arise in the future, I'll be sure to not be a pussy or moron. And not just with this one. But I have to wonder now, do I actually want to be with a girl that plays and cheats on guys?

Thanks.

You can go casual on cheating chicks but never emotionally attach.

well at least your learning , most guys make the same mistake for years and years, i certainly did before i wised up.

You can always do one of two hail mary techniques I use in long shot situations like these. It kind of forces the chick to shit or get off the pot.

Next time she texts or calls you to hang out with some platonic or casual date just tell her " I would but I cant control myself around you and will probably jump your bones." - I like this technique as you save face and force the issue while retaining status.

If you do that she will probably respond with "LOL" or "Teehee knock it off" Just be casual and lighthearted and keep repeating until she realizes you arnt joking.

Just out of curiosity, what's the other technique? Also, when she calls/texts to just shoot the shit, just run my usual game until she suggests a meet up?