Girl seems to have a boyfriend



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PostPosted: Sat Oct 29, 2011 8:31 pm 
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I'm confused by this situation. I don't like making these topics, but here is the problem:

I'm a picky person and I rarely get genuinly interested in a girl. At the salsa course however, I builded attraction with a cute girl, or at least, I thought. It was my fourth lesson but I improved greatly, and the dancing went very well, it was realy fun, kept strong eye contact with her, there was alot of tension, I was teasing her and we were obviously flirting with each other. I could tell by the look of her face that she realy enjoyed dancing with me. She even told me so.

After class I went to her and said her that we should go practice salsa upcomming week in a bar which has salsa evenings on particulary days. She was excited by the idea and she spontaneously said that we should definitely do that and, since her mobile phone is broken (which is realy true. It was no excuse but I won't take the time to explain that), she spontaneously gave me her last name and said that I should add her on facebook so we could plan something for next week.

Two days later, I added her on facebook. And when she accepted, I finaly saw that she already has a boyfriend. It's probably that her boyfriend is a guy who is also in the salsa group, although I'm not 100% sure.

I'm not only dissapointed because it's another harsh proof that there is no (likable) girl without a boyfriend where I live, but also because I wanted to finish what I started. Was I wrong all the while in interpretting her intentions?

I don't like putting time in girls with boyfriends because it asks too much energy and shit to make her cheat. Thus I never put effort in girls with boyfriends. I am already moving on but I have to know this (for future cases): should I just leave the girl or should I persist (and go to that salsa bar with her)? Was I wrong when thinking that she was attracted to me?

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 29, 2011 8:58 pm 
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if she has a boyfriend then why does she dance with you at the salsa course?


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 29, 2011 9:20 pm 
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if she has a boyfriend then why does she dance with you at the salsa course?
That is no big deal. You don't have to take a partner to courses. There is a system where everyone has to dance with everyone equaly so that you learn to dance with all kind of persons.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 29, 2011 11:37 pm 
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May as well go dance with her at the bar and see how she reacts to you. What have you got to lose? It'd be easier to game other girls already being there with her at the very least.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 29, 2011 11:44 pm 
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Since she added you on facebook take a look at her pics and note the pics of her and her boyfriend - check the dates, if there current then there together if there old then the relationship could be dying.
Quote:
I'm confused by this situation. I don't like making these topics, but here is the problem:

I'm a picky person and I rarely get genuinly interested in a girl. At the salsa course however, I builded attraction with a cute girl, or at least, I thought. It was my fourth lesson but I improved greatly, and the dancing went very well, it was realy fun, kept strong eye contact with her, there was alot of tension, I was teasing her and we were obviously flirting with each other. I could tell by the look of her face that she realy enjoyed dancing with me. She even told me so.

After class I went to her and said her that we should go practice salsa upcomming week in a bar which has salsa evenings on particulary days. She was excited by the idea and she spontaneously said that we should definitely do that and, since her mobile phone is broken (which is realy true. It was no excuse but I won't take the time to explain that), she spontaneously gave me her last name and said that I should add her on facebook so we could plan something for next week.

Two days later, I added her on facebook. And when she accepted, I finaly saw that she already has a boyfriend. It's probably that her boyfriend is a guy who is also in the salsa group, although I'm not 100% sure.

I'm not only dissapointed because it's another harsh proof that there is no (likable) girl without a boyfriend where I live, but also because I wanted to finish what I started. Was I wrong all the while in interpretting her intentions?

I don't like putting time in girls with boyfriends because it asks too much energy and shit to make her cheat. Thus I never put effort in girls with boyfriends. I am already moving on but I have to know this (for future cases): should I just leave the girl or should I persist (and go to that salsa bar with her)? Was I wrong when thinking that she was attracted to me?

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 30, 2011 10:51 am 
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May as well go dance with her at the bar and see how she reacts to you. What have you got to lose? It'd be easier to game other girls already being there with her at the very least.
Yes that's true. I might as well still ask her. The problem is that, you may call it a limited believe if you wish, that I then will put less effort because I already have the knowledge that she had a boyfriend. I don't know if that is good or bad.

Maybe it's a good idea to ask her to go, and then ask her to invite (an) other girl(s) with us (like a good friend of her who is as well in the salsa course) so that we'll go in a group?

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:17 am 
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See, this is what I don't like about Facebook. What would you have done if you hadn't added this girl to facebook? Would the actual real situation be any different?

Personally, I ignore everything that's on facebook (I prefer to not even look but sometimes I can't help myself) because it is never relevant. Personal interaction is what counts and she hasn't told you she doesn't wanna go any further so who cares what's on her FB profile?

Sad day when people actually start to take characters on a computer screen more serious than reality.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:37 am 
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See, this is what I don't like about Facebook. What would you have done if you hadn't added this girl to facebook? Would the actual real situation be any different?

Personally, I ignore everything that's on facebook (I prefer to not even look but sometimes I can't help myself) because it is never relevant. Personal interaction is what counts and she hasn't told you she doesn't wanna go any further so who cares what's on her FB profile?

Sad day when people actually start to take characters on a computer screen more serious than reality.
Man, I totally agree. I often say to my friends that, if I were the dictator of the world, that I would abolish facebook. I also lately discussed with them how dating would be like in the time of our parents, without mobile phone and facebook. It would have been much more spontaneous.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 9:26 am 
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it will be true that you love her so much........................................


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 2:31 pm 
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Dont stress it
Go out with her, the venue sounds like it has opportunities for other HBs if need be, but honestly... i only just changed my status on facebook to single and deleted pics of us (after nine months)... my ex has been living with her new b/f for about six months and her status still says shes with me... So honestly who cares, if the IOIs are all there and she hasnt outright told you she has a boyfriend then i say go for it
Whats the worst that could happen...?

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 5:54 pm 
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Well, now I think about it: the worst thing that might happen is that, if I do something in the bar and it fails, I'll stil have to take salsa classes with her for months.

And apart from that, she decided to take an other girl (a friend) from the same salsa class with her to the salsa bar tomorrow. That's not a good sign I think. I guess it's time to move on to the next girl.

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You CAN make a change.
You WILL make a change.

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