hi, sorry but i just wanted to ask some advice. In advance, I will say, yes i know i'm lame!

So i met this girl like last yr, exchanged numbers about something else and then literally didnt talk until this yr. I am in a 5yr relationship but at this point everything was fine. Then this yr she invites me to this gig she's going to but i can't go. So i invite her to another thing 2 wks later (about 2 mnths ago).

Anyway, so we go out, me, her, and a few of my friends. I ask her out on a date and she says yes. (you hv to remeber i've been out of action for 5 yrs!) anyway, so we go out and have a cool time but honestly, havin been in a relationship for so long, my game was no existant, no kino, flirtin, innuedo....nothing but we get on really well. Anyway, we go for some food and then to this bar, chat for a few hrs and then catch a cab home (sadly not to each others).

I think when she was leaving she went to kiss me but i kissed her cheek expecting that was what she was doing! like wat the f!! so anyway, she gets out of the car pretty quick and then we don't see each other for about a wk but keep tx's going. So basically, after this, next time we meet, we go for food and then some drinks and nothing again. Obviously, i am to scared to make a move.

So we've been out about 5 times now and i can see that I have slipped well and truly into the friendzone. So lastnight, I tried to up my game. More kino and she was receptive but I couldn't bring myself to make a move.

So anyway, today we meet up for coffee and then she's asking me what's on my mind? (she knows i have a girlfriend but i've told her it's going to end pretty soon which I'm 95% certain it is) so i think to myself, fk it, i'm just gonna speak my mind. So i tell her that, i really like her and why but I don't make it sexual which i think i should. Then i explain that the reason i havent done anything is bcos i'm feeling guilty about my gf. She doesn't say LJBF but says, i'm very complex then explains that she's not over her last boyfriend yet. Anyway, long story short, get the "nice guy" insult/complement but she doesn't at any point say, let's just be friends and explains in greater details that she was going out with a married guy bla bla bla so i ask her whether anything could have happened the first time we went out and she says no.

How fked up have I let this become?!!!!

Well my questions are: Is there any return? Is it worth gaming her properly given the implied LJBF rejection? I do actually get on with her really well so wouldnt mind her as a friend as we are into the same kinda shit but would make prefer to be fkin her as well! Should I keep her as a friend?

go ahead and try gaming her---what ya got to loose

If you think you can just be friends with her- and not get too emotionally invested in her then go for it. If not-I wouldn't put too much time and investment into her. You kinda dropped the ball- and if you kept plowing forward it might seem needy.

Get some new girls in your life- have a good time. Contact her ever so often to keep you on her radar.

That's what I would do -

You need to look up how to escalate.

If you are a person that needs to be 100% about escalation then you should look up the sighns a girl gives you to show when it's time to escalate. But these are hard to read on a girl and your going to need to mess up a few times in order to get it.

*Fixing her hair, Even bigger sighn is putting her fingers through her hair on her temples.
*Itching, Bigger sighn itching her hand.
*Moving her foot, Bigger sighn slowly moving her foot. Or slowly moving her foot in and out of her shoes.

Also saying that your last relationship is going to end soon sounds really bad. It's going to make her think, 'Is he going to talk the same way about me?'

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This is Saint reminding you, with much love, that behind every mystery is a guy living with his parents.

I think you know you've already fucked this up. Five dates with no escalation . . . Yeah you know. The point of real failure was when you decided to sit her down and explain it to her logically. Even if she really did like at that point in time, which she probably did, she will straight out deny it. It's a logical move which you can use to catch her later because she sees you as being too wimpy. Nooo. She no like. Keep her as a friend.

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*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
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thanks for the replies, I just wanted to say that thankfully, I've advanced a bit since then well a lot IMHO! the chick has actually become a very good friend and I'm pretty sure that she secretly fancies me but now I'm not even interested! But thanks, this was really useful as I've never made that mistake again and to be honest, I think I knew that I was being lame by talking about my feelings to her instead of just trying it with her.