i have come along way in the last few months... i hardly think about my ex, however I am good friends with her friends and her brother... also there are certain times of day where i reflect on life and she always semms to pop up and of course whenever i see/smell or hear something that reminds me of her.
when i think about her i either get angry or sad. i start to think i should really send her a message to tell her how i feel but then i always slap myself out of it.
anyway so here is the thing. its starting to really annoy the shit out of me. i dont want to think about her, i dont want a girl i hardly talk to to affect my moods so often.

i dont want to care about her.
i dont want to think about her.

i believe i need to distract myself, i need a new girl to sleep with and be intimate with and make memories with so i can get over all that shit with the ex. i want out and i am getting out asap. wish me luck and give me advice! thanks guys.

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just because my name is safety doesn't mean i like condoms

You are presenting two conflicting ideas in your post. I hope you can spot them. I've highlighted them. First thing you need to do in order to "forget" someone is to not focus actively on "forgetting" them. The more you think "I am not going to think about her today", the more you will. Get it?

You need to treat it like a normal event, forgetting someone you had a close connection with, is hard. It is. I understand. But, the relationship didn't work out because of certain reasons, is also another fact. Either way, you should go about your life without thinking about your past. A very effective way is to focus your mind and time on other things. Find a new hobby, take up a new book to read, play a new sport, join a club.. they will cause you to shift your attention and you might meet someone new. So, that's a win-win.

lol what you describe .. i have something like that with alot of woman i used to date..
just keep your focus internal
any notice when you are lying to yourself

there is a difference between remnants of one-itis and pure approval seeking...
anyway break contact .. don't contact and don't talk to them..

she's your ex .. she probably don't give a shit about how you feel.. nobody cares about how you feel - you should care.. so why the fuck think about others who don't care about you in the first place?

when you are into a relationship she cares but you aren't into a relationship anymore - she doesn't care anymore. it's different....when the relationship dies .. her personality towards you dies .. it's not the same anymore -other people are not the solution. the biggest issue seems to be is that you focus on external things.. im curious about how much you do it...

----

aside from that ..

sometimes in life shit happens that you cannot accept .. sometimes you wake up one morning and you think - what the fuck am i doing.. ? You will have alot of those bad days and during those days you will think back to moments where you were happy. Moments where you had more significance...

and it's very hard if you broke up because when you have a bad day there is no one around you that can understand you in a intimite way. It's hard to accept reality or where you are at when you are having bad times - so you wish it was different, you start thinking about the past.

Truth is that nobody cares how you feel or about your succes .. not your ex-gfs... they have self-interest and when you cannot fullfill those self-interest they break up.. You don't have to feel insecure about it or less - you just need to realized that those woman have changed when they broke up... it's just something out of the past.

after my accident i thought alot about woman and ex girlfriends .. i had extreme one-itis about this woman i know ( i still do but not as much anymore). it's just because i am having a hard time.. studying... surgery.. a financial crisis.. emotional breakdown... It's easy to think that woman are the answer to those solution.. a quick fix like drugs.

whenever you are not accepting the situation you start thinking unconciously about things that made you happy and your brain designated it as value. woman are not the solution to your problems or life quality which derived from those problems...your mom.. your girlfriend or whoever cannot solve it for you.

whenever you focus on something external you are doing it because you are not accepting the situation right now - you are starting to run away from how you really feel... you must just focus on how you feel instead or deceiving yourself.

it's not a simple descision like '' im not going to think about it anymore'' because those thoughts just pop up in your head. you need to handle shit in your life .. you need to solve issues .. you need to remember things that happened to you which you couldn't accept...maybe it's just a boundary problem... it could be very simple.

i practiced super large amounts of inner game last few years.. i didn't had a girlfriend for almost 2 years now.. just because i want to fix my issues. i have rejected multiple woman just because i didn't want to repeat my old same story over and over.

but you have to realise that you are robbing other woman ,who like you,of their experiences. you cannot live in the past and let new woman you meet sit there unanswered... i wanted to fix my issues so badly that i even didn't gave attention to woman who gave me attention or affection ( during dating etc).

by living in the past you are deceiving alot of people and not only yourself .. you rob yourself the chance of meeting a new woman and you rob the woman the chance of meeting you.

so when you go to sleep tonight... just listen how calm it is around you and notice that everything is ok... whatever happened to you it was not that bad...just relax

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draper, that does make alot of sense. easier said than done though... but i do understand.

lodewijkp, thank you. this advice makes alot of sense also... i dont need other people or other things to make me happy you are right. i need to live in the moment. not in the future or the past. live for now because there is no point wasting today over what happened yesterday

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just because my name is safety doesn't mean i like condoms