It might be that I often mistake girls for being arrogant or uninterested while they might just be shy. That is not abnormal since many shy girls try to hide being shy by acting cool or uninterested.

It is a shame if I eject if I think that she is not interested while she is just being shy. I'm not talking about the typical realy quiet, insecure, shy girls, but more about the prettier social girls who often try to hide their shyness on many different ways, in such a way that it's not obvious to see.

So what is the psychology behind these shy girls and why do many try to act cool? What are the differences between an uninterested/arrogant girl and a secretly shy or insecure girl?

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Well, I am currently dating a very hot girl, HB 9 or even higher, and she is incredibly shy. She even went to a psychiatrist for three years to work on her self esteem. The reason? She felt ugly because no boy wanted to speak to her. I was one of the first she could talk to. Why? I have heart dozens of stories from her telling me how she really liked this guy and went over to talk to him. He froze and even walked away. She actually became insecure because all the guys she talked to had AA and choked.

That is the reason why I always aim for the most pretty girl in the audience. Chances are that if you be nice to her she will like you. It doesn't happen often to them that people start talking to them because no AFC has the balls to approach.

this question is to hard to in order to give a good clear answer...it's so complex and it totally depends on the scenario and mental/ emotional state she's in. it's easier and more efficient to generalise it.

woman are social creatures .. they do anything to fit in...

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Da_Vinci this is interesting that you bring this situation up. Before I always thought that if girls were interested, they would give eye contact. I also didn't want to put too much energy in girls so I was looking for the more confident girls who dared to give eye contact and who were more feasty. Lately I was thinking that there might be girls dancing on the dancefloor with their friends who like you and are interested but who doesn't show it at all because they don't dare, while they are actualy begging you in their mind to come over. But your story is realy extreme and I am feeling bad for the girl your dating man.

It's like lodewijk says, it's realy complex and women try everything to fit in. But I believe that many girls put this mask on them. And masks remain masks: hiding shyness (or any feeling) will not result in 100% natural or congruent behavior so there must be some weak spots which should be able to tell you how girls realy think or if they are interested but genuinly shy instead of uninterested.

I'm looking for those weak spots, which should be readable by body language. Can you see it from her eyes? The way she tries to look away from you? How can a girl be faced with her back to you but still wanting you to come over?

_________________
You WANT to make a change.
You CAN make a change.
You WILL make a change.

Ambitious to be succesfull => Shyler

Had to read that one twice before I understood you weren't insulting meXD

Anyway, the way I felt it, is that you cannot really know what a women thinks of you untill you have talked to her. Body language, as we all have learned, can be altered. Looking in the eyes is only done by the most confident girls, so when you go for that strategy, you will only get the tip of the iceberg.

Just go ahead and talk to her, I am quite indirect, so when I walk into a group of girls, I just start with some chit chat and look around. it is quite easy to see which one likes me: a smile, getting nervous with her hands (playing with her hair, glass or not knowing where to put them), giggles. It is so much easier to spot them by talking then by staring at a distance. Plus you don't look like a creep when you walk to them instead of observing them for 15 minutes.

And, to be honest, the fun of the game is the tension when you start talking to some girl. At least that is where the good bit is for me;)