Everyone talks about HB10s, 9s and 8s that they've been with, but what about the worst? I went through a period of heavy drinking and man alive... I would honestly say I've been with a couple of 2s.

I mean... There was one woman in her late thirties who could have been a transexual upon reflection and, though this may sound cruel, I feel nothing but shame and disgust whenever I think about that drunken night. Waking up in the morning I was like "OH NO! PLEASE NOOOO!"

I have industrial strength beer goggles, hence why I don't drink when gaming and am trying to cut down on it in general.

Another time I woke up at about 6am in the bed of some frizzy haired gothic chick. It was not good. I got out of bed and attempted to sneak out but in the darkness and my drunken state, I was trying to squeeze into her jeans and I fell over, waking her up. She wanted to make me breakfast and offered to take me home on her motorbike (seriously.)

The thing is... She must've known how ashamed I was, because I couldn't even kiss her goodbye, I patted her on the back and avoided eye contact.

That was an awful period of my life, but the stories do make for a great deal of hilarity and camaraderie with my friends.

So yeah... Any horror stories?

This was really funny hahaha...industrial strength beer goggles lol

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Oh god, I think I almost died laughing at this postXD

"Industrial strenght beer goggles" is a term you should coin in.

Anyways, my most embarassing moment was when I got a mercy fuck from a friend of the chick that dumped me. HB 5. Not shure if it really was a mercy fuck or a desperate girl seeing an opportunity.

I've been surprised at times when I saw them in daylight but none of them were blatanly fugly. I try to keep it this way

I once had the scare of my freakin life man. Got waaaay to drunk and ended up at some chicks apartment and when I woke up she wasn't in bed.I couldn't remember what she looked like , her name , nothing man.


So I get out of the room and this freakin tank appears in front of me , and by tank I mean an insanely fat and ugly as hell chick.In all honesty I almost shit my pants right there. You can't imagine the horror that was going through my head at that very moment. Luckily enough she just said : "Mia is in the kitchen".So I go to the kitchen and there's this decent HB8 cooking me breakfast. Turns out the tank was her housemate :d.

Long story short , I've never been so terrified and than so happy in a interval of 5 minutes in my entire life and I'm NEVER ,EVER gonna drink that much again.

I lost my virginity at 19 when i was drinking on weekend leave from the army

The chick was a 3/4 with fugly teeth. She was about 30, with 2 kids and was pregnent (didn't know this at the time i was so drunk)

It was in the disabled toliet of a nightclub i used to do security in...

I got the bus home after and got straight in the shower

*shudders*

Man, these stories are so much fun to read lol...my god...hahaha

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@ Sephy - why were you trying to squeeze into HER jeans!?!?!

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Behind the lady who dances and the man who madly drinks, i'll show you the truth about love.

I was really drunk and got mine and hers confused somehow!

I'm loving these stories btw.

hilarious stories ...lol here are mine ...

like 6 years ago i smoked pot with a friend from school ( during breaktime) .. and suddeny i started to get feelings for this girl who sits next to me in class.. i was getting a huge erection and i couldn't stop it. i was staring at her and she was just giving me these weird looks... it ended up with me asking her to fuck her becaue she looks like my ex and all this weird nonsense lol ... this one was pretty bad..

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On a birthday party i was really getting wasted.. after an hour or 2 we hit the club where i met this chick who had a open relationship. She had no regular clothes lol .. only a bra and some stockings and she walked around like a whore - nobody dared to approach her just because she looked ridicilious.

so i go on .. opened up with '' hey you look like a whore '' ( original lol ) we got into a conversation, her boyfriend joined the conversation and she starts talking like we have a open relationship blablabla...i ignored her boyfriend and shoved him aside.... really harsh lol... totally gaming her

suddenly he starts kissing her... i don't know what happened but i kissed her as well and we 3 start kissing... i just stood there licking her eyeball because i couldn't even kiss properly.. meanwhile my friend and some of my ex-dates were watching me - nobody intervened. i thought this woman was putting her hands on my ass, but this guy was all over my ass only my friends saw it...She asked her BF to get some drinks but he didn't came back so i asked her to go the the SPAM...i kiss closed her again and started fingering her around the corner..

we got back into the club and suddenly she starts getting emotional about how she used to smoke crack and used heroine... she showed me some self induced wounds on her arm and that kind of shit..i was totally freaking out - thinking she had aids or something.. thank god i didn't fucked her.

i came home that night.. brushed my teeth for 30 minutes.. from that day on i wash my hand like 50 times every day.

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this one is also bad .. another drunk tale... i met this chick in a bar who i have met years ago in college.. i almost managed to fuck her best friend but i lost contact with her because i was fucking another girl and got attached. anyway i don't really knew this girl ( first one i mensioned ).. she wasn't really hot either, it felt like some skanky leftover..at that time i had a breakup and i was just looking for a desperate fuck to get rid of my one-itis...

anyway i picked her up fucked her 2 hours later at her home ( sadly without condom) i thought i was fucking her in her pussy but i was again too drunk and ended up fucking her in her ass for long time lol...

when i was done i pulled it out and it smelled really bad ...it looked really bad as well... i told her im was going to use her shower... i showered like 2 hours non-stop washing my penis with a shitload of soap .. it hurted like fuck because of all the rubbing... she passed away with her pants down half on the floor. i felt like i left my dignity lol... i still got a little scar of the massive cockburn...
she wasn't really hot either.. but she was very good in bed tho..

then we had a terrible on and off relationship, she always talked about her ex and she even called me his name instead of mine.. her ex was some loser who handed her his ipod when they broke up.. after a while she broke up with me because i was just too indifferent and getting pissed , me telling her to stfu alot of the times.

after she said '' i wanna break up blabla'' i just put my tongue in her mouth and started fingering her... it went to all weird directions - blowjobs, me jizzing in her mouth face and all other open spots.. after a while we suddenly got into a fight... i left her appartement.. just sat on the stairs and i saw this other guy she was dating entering her appartement....

the idea of him kissing her or fucking her after i jizzed all over her lol... suddenly i realized it could be me as well.. i mean how many other guys was she fucking around with.. i had no idea why i hooked up with her in the first place ... a beer scoped sniper rifle i guess..
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another desperate one is me dating a VERY HOT GIRL... so we ended up in a bar with her friend and a friend of mine. and with my industrial strenght beer goggles i decided to run some jealousy plotline... so i went to a table, just grabbed a girl by the arm and draw her along running game on her. I returned to this hot girl i was dating with this other girl on my arm... it ended up with me talking about threesomes and laughing like a sadistic badass... everybody just rolled their eyes ( this was just 20 minutes into the date and 3 minutes into the conversation ). It ended with me hooking up with this lesser looking girl who i dragged from the table she seated...

i could easily hookup with this hotter girl i was dating but somehow i ended hooking up with this skanky leftover, i don't know why and i cannot remember why... it's fucking retarded lol .. it's like when you have a pile of shit and a pile of gold and you decide to grab the shit. Still i managed to hook up with this hotter girl 2 weeks later gladly i salvaged the situation.
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This one is the worst of my life....
another one is me hooking up with a girl and sleeping at her parents house without even knowing the parents... i just met her.. and at that time i really like her. We ended up fucking in her bedroom ( her parents bedroom is just one floow down below her bedroom ) really hard... like you can hear it in the whole house.

later i needed to piss so i go down... to the toilet and suddenly i run into this dog ( small ) who is growling and trying to bit me... suddenly the lights go on and suddenly i saw her mom... here i was being naked trying to wrestle with this dog. She just shook her her head telling the dog to fuckoff...

she didn't knew what to do and i didn't knew what to do...we just stared at eachother...she likely heard me fucking her daughter, she knew.. i was just standing there with my huge erection and the dog just in front of me... She went back to bed without saying anything...

i got dressed and tried to leave but the door fucking locked and i couldn't get out... so i went back to this girl i was dating/fucking and told her i needed to leave - we went downstairs she grabbing the keys.. but it ended up in kissing and fucking again.

i woke up.. her dad was banging on the door i was like fuck where am i ? i stayed in her room ALL DAY .. i seriously thought this guy was going to shoot me.. this girl (ex-fiance) bringing me food and water... somewhere late in the afternoon i went downstairs meeting her parents and introducing me... it was terrible.
terrible relationship in general because we really had a bad start .. and her mom was batshit crazy...her mom and me almost hooked up...

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Hahaha, it's pretty reassuring to know I'm not the only one.

I've shit myself round a girl's house before, don't think I really need to elaborate much tbh... I was out for a friend's birthday and I'd taken some immodium because things were feeling a bit loose down there. We went to this club that a lot of cougars go to (my friend loves older women) and I ended up going home with a 34 year old school teacher and my friend was with her housemate.

As we were making out, this almighty gurgling sound erupted in my bowels, I tried to ignore it but it was stopping me from becoming aroused. It was starting to kill the mood and pretty soon I farted quite loudly which caused her to stop kissing me and look at me in a disgusted fashion. I thought it was just a fart, until I felt the warm fart run down the back of my knee. My heart nearly stopped and I dashed to the bathroom and unleashed in a violent and loud manner.

After this I cleaned up and left the bathroom and told her I was feeling very unwell and left in a hurry.

I never heard from her again

sephy those are really awfull haha .. omg the last one was the worst ..

i used to workout alot and drink alot of proteine shakes... one certain day after working out i had eaten alot of soy, diary and proteine shakes.
i had a short term thing - dated this girl i really liked and landed in her bed.... anyway i slept at her place and i just couldn't sleep...farting all night

i was farting all night long and i heard my stomach making weird sounds... it was terrible and i was just hoping she was asleep... next morning she woke me up and she lifted the blankets and this HORRIBLE smell risen up into the air.. even i found it disgusting.. suddenly i saw her face turning sour lol .. 2 days later we broke up.

She never told me why lol...nowadays i run into her but she just looks the other way

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Fuckin epically hilarious. This was a great post.

I've never banged a girl I would be ashamed of later.

However, I have *hooked up* with tons that were brutal.

The worst that comes to mind is this girl who had a lazy eye at a club. There's just something fucked up about a girl in a little black dress, with a crossed eye. Only thing worse is when you're the jackoff making out with her for hours while epic trance is playing.

Haha love this thread iv been with some hb1s most definatley well quite alot before pua my standards were low few beers down me an id smash anything with a pulse ... thats why my next door neighbour never lets me take her dog for a walk anymore.

In the morning when they come back mine getting them out of the house is a job an a half when my parents see them i know im in for a full pisstaking of them ha.

But saying that iv slept with a few goodlookin girls one 10 on holiday but i also did a 3 over there aswell pier job haha
and now i only focus on 7+.

Was it worth banging all them ugly girls damn right it was much experience in bed gained. a good laugh with my mates who still slay me for it now.
Id reccomend it to anyone starting out start low build your way up an they are dirty bastards aswell an know how to suck dick

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viewtopic.php?p=475520#475520

This had me in stitches