I've came to these forums for this particular reason. I've been friends with a girl for 5 years. She considers me her best friend. I've been there for her in her lowest of lows, and vice versa.

I've known and felt for almost four years that this is the girl for me, and the girl I want to be with. She is the only thing that keeps me happy constantly. I've tried pretty much everything. Forgetting about her, keeping distance, trying other women, you name it!

Year 2 in our friendship, I came out and told her straight up. That ended in us not talking for roughly 5 months. She then initiated contact once again, and we've grown so close.

I've been with quite a few girls, I have no trouble picking up women; other then her. Being her best friend we share a lot of information, so I'm not lacking in that department; other then her feelings towards me. I know we're best friends, but what else do I know.

Now more then ever I feel a sense of urgency. A few nights back, I was hanging out with her and her best friend. I drove her best friend home, and during the ride she turned to me and said, "Steve why don't you tell Emma you love her"? It unfolded from there.

My thought process sort of stands that at some point Emma's best friend had confronted her about it, or asked questions like, "Do you like him more then friends?" "Has Steve ever said he likes you or asked you out". Those sort of questions, but I am clearly not privy to that information. I'm tried to pry from her friend but with no avail.

I love this girl. I always will. I would love to be in her life, but more then her best friend. I get to see and hear how she is with other guys. She wants what I want, but seemingly isn't finding it. Even though she could. Her explanation is always the same. Meanwhile, I know deep down we're perfect for each other. People say we look good together and such, yes, that may be meaningless, but there is some depth there.

So, cliff notes...

- I love this girl
- We're best friends
- I'm usually amazing at reading situations and people, with her it's a mystery when it comes to me.
- I want to be with her

Any advice is much appreciated.

Hey theravada this is a really complex situation but can be really simple if you want it to. Just think about from her perspective. She has a best friend whom she knows likes her and will do anything for her and she has to do nothing to win him and it's impossible for her to lose this guy. People and girls especially like to have things they can't have, things that are hard to get. Right now in her mind your the kind of guy she can always have your easy to get. Meaning she can go do whatever she wants(fuck other guys) and still expect you to be there for her. Basically like a back up. However girls want a guy who is hard to get who is not always there for them that is a high value man. What you have to do is simply become a guy who is hard to get or rather a high value guy. Have fun with other girls, enjoy life and be independent from her and she will see that and think " well, how come he changed so much and is not anymore so into me like he used to be" then she will investigate and see that you're independent from her and others girls want you. Then she will begin to think " well why doesn't he want me anymore. "Am I not so attractive to him anymore etc...". Then you will be able to make a move but this time not as regular guy who sits by the doorstep of this girl wanting her approval but rather as a guy who this girls is seeking his approval. It will be hard to forget about her but having fun and other activities and dreams in your life will shift your thoughts away from her. What you see in Hollywood movies is crap. The more you show care and love for the girl and beg her the more you will lose her. It will be hard but worth it. Good luck!

- Amazing Art -

_________________
"Experience is the teacher of all things"