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Well, I told one person about my experience with this girl and it spread. But none of my friend's even know her, or know what she looks like even.
Yeah, the fact that you told someone about it isn't the problem.
The fact that it spread to them is the problem.
Ever heard of the term 'empathy'? Put yourself in their shoes. The is building trust 101. Chicks don't mind having sex with you, even on short notice. But they don't want their behind the doors escapades spread around in this fashion. Which can harm their overall reputation.
This is secret society 101.
Will it hurt you long term, or with this new girl? Hard to say, but let this be a lesson. Within your own social circle keep what goes on behind closed doors behind closed doors unless you're absolutely positive whomever you share it with will not use it as some sort of social leverage, or for lack of anything better to say, topic of interest.
Chicks will appreciate you for it. And in my opinion that's the only real opinion that counts.
This is tricky. Girls are intrigued by men who have previous partners because it equals experience. Girls are really intrigued by men who have multiple partners for a multitude of reasons. I will name the two biggest:
1.) A "respectable girl" will be a bit repulsed by a man who has had many-many partners. However, it's going to make her think about him in ways that are a little "dirty" and this builds a curious attraction. Think about Dangerous Liaisons. Think about every "bad-boy" story ever told. Girls always want to believe they could be "the one" to "cure" a guy like this...turn a womanizer into a true love.
2.) A more worldly girl will appreciate the experience and want to see what you are like in bed. period.
This all must be balanced with the fact that girls have more to lose reputation-wise. This is directly resulted in LMR. Mystery speaks enough about this, so I won't go into it.
Yeah, this has to be one of the 10 things that women do to mess up their lives. More of them have gotten STD's competing over the same indiscreet so-called 'experienced' asshole as anything. I mean indiscreet in a sexual sense, not socially.
You know how girls see a guy with a particular girl and go, yuk.., what is he thinking? Doesn't he know? Well guys do the same thing. They see a girl with a particular guy they know well and they think something similar especially if the guy is a real shytbag, routinely engages in indiscriminate promiscuity, or with anything else that's willing to stick its legs up in the air in a drunken stupor.
When I was younger, this used to really frustrate me with younger chicks. Especially when this aspect of female psychology eluded me. I was looking for a somewhat monogamous relationship, but advertising this fact was the social equivalent of placing a black 'X' on your forehead. Logical? I think not.
Looking back it all seems so clear now. It didn't really matter what I thought. I was simply under the mistaken impression that most women looked at the situation logically and intelligently like I did (come to find out they thought I was a 'dog' that must hump upon command or be deemed socially defective or something).
Like, did you ever really believe in sexual or social equality? How do you undo thousands of years of biology and evolution in a few decades? You fake it, 'till you make it? Yeah sure, this sounds sort of like some of that crack they're smoking up in Washington again.
Remember this was the '80's and STD's were running rampant in the clubs. So a bit of prudence and caution seemed to be nothing more than common sense (In my mind I was stressing my survival value). Nope sorry, still had the same 10 girls or more all competing or sleeping with the single prick with the reputation, gram of coke, BMW, etc... And those of us with a lower profile and more monogamous leanings? Socially, the odd men out. Scary stuff.
But then hey, everybody's gotta eat. And I really do want her to have the life she thinks she deserves, and be able to afford that ritzy condo over in 4th ward, compliments of her sugar daddy. Me? If all else fails I've still got my towel, bottle of lotion, my nail apron, no illegitimate children and my freedom.
I mean you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Hey isn't this the traditional female role? Something's socially backwards here. Yep, that's it. Women used to hold the high ground.., what happened? They willing gave it all up to act like a bunch of dickbrains looking for notches on their belt, called 'empowerment' by another name? Sexual and economic social climbing? Interesting. Poof.., there goes my idealism. I think I'll be celibate for a while.
As for the social angle, that's why I suggested it was a good thing for BusinessTime to let the women do the talking, but I suggested he not do the talking himself especially to other guys who will often unconsciously use this information socially against him (like it or not this is a competition here, and the whole idea of friendship is often secondary).
The higher quality women are quite protective of their reputations and with very good reason. Now if they were only as protective of their health it would be a good thing in my opinion. Same goes for guys.
But then like I said, for some people I suppose it 'just happens'. I've always been just slightly ahead of my time. And alas, it's still not a perfect world for either gender. And still is largely a confusing and socially FU environment out here.
And you'll have to blame my mother for trying to give you the guy you always wanted.
Oh well, there's always the MM, NLP, buying lottery tickets, watching American idol, etc...
Oh, and lest I forget.., professional pivots..
CHAT
