I just realized something about myself. I'm afraid to get physical. I can usually create that initial attraction fairly easily. But that's just a spark. And sparks alone don't make fire unless you add something to them. From all the articles I've read, that something is being flirty and conveying your sexual side.

Basically, the initial attraction usually dies off cause I'm afraid to touch and magnify that spark. I even tried an experiment where I stopped wanking to help motivated me. Sure it's motivating me and making me horny, but when it's game time I freeze up and second guess myself. Now it's just making me frustrated. I think I try to plan shit ahead in my mind too much instead of just going with the flow. Whenever I consider making a move my mind starts racing with all the possible outcomes and it just becomes impossible to actually do it. Someone help before I get friend zoned with every girl...

Hey there brother,

I was exactly the same way as you, I was always afraid to touch a girl or even lay hands on her. I thought I was being polite. But your actually being rude (indirectly).

For instance is you have started a conversation with a girl and its going well, not touching her communicates that your not interested in her. Or you don't actually think she is attractive. so you need to touch her to progress the situation.


So my advice is start small. Touch the small of her back (lower back) when you talk to her (when your side by side talking) This isn't invasive and won't creep her out. It's a polite way to show her your interested.

then when you move her around the place (take her from one spot to another) hold her hand. See if she is holding tightly because that is always a good sign.

Then you move on to caressing her. For her hand you can stroke her arm then move to her back then back to her hand.

If all of this goes off with a hitch. That is a freaking GOOD sign. she likes you.

Don't be afraid to do it because it communicates your sexual interest in her. and you don't come across as a friend.

Plus this always work too way if she doesn't like it then you know that the situation wasn't going anywhere. However my disclaimer is this if she doesn't like it BUT still stays around you that means she likes you but she isn't ready for the caressing just yet. Isolate her somewhere its just the two of you and try again.

the only time its not going to work is if she leave. That is the only sign you pay attention to.

Here is a note: When you shake hands to introduce yourself be the last to let go. And if your comfortable go with the European hello with a kiss on the cheek. ( if your not confident with that just stick to the drawn out hand shake)

Hope this points you in the right direction brother. give it a try and good luck.

PS. and don't worry about being creepy, because it is creepy, just reframe the word with "smooth" your being smooth. LOL good luck.