Hey guys, I know Im new around here, and I preety much think this is my first post here ever, but seeing the advice people give and get over here - gave me to urge to come and ask for advice in a case of my own.

LSS - it's about an HB9 Im involved with, we mainly know because we work in the same place. Weve' known for bout 3 month now - and we seem to like eachother a lot, the big question is simply in what nature each of us like the other.
Our thing revolves mainly around very deep conversations we found ourself having with big common intrests, character lines we both deffintly share and the occasional fooling around with bites, groping, stroking - but I should mention she's a very affectionate individual (No k-close).

In the begining she showd no intrest, whilst i try and try, she kept on even with stupid techniques like tallking a lot about her x's and impling we are very good friends. The package was finally left open when I found out she told a girlfriend of hers that she's not sure about what she wants but she's not attracted to me, while saying that if she was - we'd be the perfect couple because of our click in the intellectuall level.

Things kind of changed a bit, and i think she may have started showing a bit more intrest in me in the nature I push for (Im deffintly not confindet bout it). The other day she called me up after saying by sms (which we use a lot) she needs my help in something. She wanted me to help her blow off a friend of hers (whom i also know), she didnt know what to tell him. at the beginig i kind of hassitated but then i went ahead and told her what to write. A few mintues afterwards she calles me to tell me how it went and sort of "get's mad" at me that he responded in a sensitive way (the friend).

HER: "damn you, you made it worse"
ME:"Dont u have any g-friends to help u out with this?"
HER: "Yeah, but i want your help cause you know him" or some other bs.
ME: "Look, I'M not your gay friend..."
HER: "fuck off!" (hung-up)

later, while she's positive ill be the one calling back afterwards (i didnt), she send's me a message saying:

HER: "What was that?!"
HER: "You realy insolted me yesterday"
ME: "Why do u say that?"
HER: "You acted a bit Obnoxious, dont you think?"

And this is where it lןies right now. Don know what to do from here.
hope you can help me out and sorry it didnt came out as a short post as i intedned (:

Arrhythmia

i personally would be like "no" then she might say something along the lines of youre a jerk or thanks for not halping me out. then i would say "look girl i tried helping you out and you said i made it worse. what more do you want"

just my own opinion

sounds like she is trying to use you, from my perspective you have definately been friend zoned, you are her 'DO STUFF FOR ME GUY'

worst thing you could do, is be around this girl alot, or keep doing things for her, start giving her the cold shoulder when she displays this behavior and attempt to reshape it, also you need to use the magic word more with this one 'NO', be direct with her about your intention if she doesn't follow the program, make yourself scarce, if you have to see her at work, be formal, polite but not nice/no interest, alot of girls will give validation in order to get attention and favours without giving sex, this is called manipulation, and alot of women are very good at using it, do not allow yourself to be manipulated

3 months with no sex = not going to have sex

that is just my opinion, could be wrong, don't waste your time on this girl, she seems like a user

go find other girls, and draw your boundries more firmly next time, and be more specific and efficent with reaching your goal, when a girl is attracted to you, you should be able to close within the first time you get her alone, if she wont be alone, chances are she needs more comfort or is not interested

that is my opinion on this issue

TNX guys.
I just want to update - and be sure that this will sound like a natural AFC question, but i feel i gotta - This girl keeps calling me and telling me that Im freaking her out and am sending mixed messages about what I want and about how I act. Ofcourse I didnt show insecurity when she told me that, but do u guys think I should at least try some other atittude before I give her the finger? (She realy seems to be upset after what happend).

Arrhythmia

honestly regardless of what is said here, youre gonna do your own thing anyway. but my word of advice is to let it go. and if you dont let it go, do not turn into a doormat. she did use you in that scenario where you were supposed to help her get away from the guy. it may not have turned out like she wanted, but you got used point blank.

if she is interested as you suspect let her call you. eventually she'll start askin why you never call her first or some other bullshit gettin you to invest. thats when you give her the minimum amount of attention and build that attraction even more.

dont be a dick to her, just be busy enough that your arent waiting on her hand and foot.

_________________
Back then they didnt want me, now im hot they're all on me

What is it that you want from this girl? Because you are deep in the friend zone.

That's not a bad thing.

However, if you want to move out, then you need to man up and tell her. "I'm in love with you."

She already knows you are, but if you have the balls to say it, that will make her feel guilty for talking to you about other guys and she will stop. Then if you are lucky she will give you a try. If not, then you have told her what you think, and you put the ball in her court. It will feel like a burden off your chest. You won't have to "act" and you can just be you. You will be more confident because you overcame your own insecurities and you will be in control.

_________________
Walk Hard

she;s trying to use you and she is doing some shit tests as well...
she likes it that is why she's coming back for more ..

LET HER CHASE YOU

woman feel emotions and frustration attraction 10 x more than men... i get this SHIT all the time.

just stand your ground, the best tactic is to not care .. do not contact her because you are needy...

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

I agree with Lodewijkp. The best action is to not care. But you won't be able to just flip a switch internally. You have to act. If you tell her "I'm in Love with you" You will no longer care about the outcome of your relationship. And you will become confident.

There is nothing wrong with telling a girl how you feel. It is all in how you say it. And if you send that message to her she will understand you completely. She won't be afraid of you, and she wont be confused by you. You are in a perfect position to be honest. Take advantage of it. You will either get a girl or you will learn so much about yourself and how relationships work, that you won't ever be put in the same position again.

_________________
Walk Hard

Again, TNX a lot for responding.
Im a bit confused, and I just want to get the advice right, so u guys think I shuld just tell her how I feel or flake her and show her Im not needy? Cause wouldnt telling her I love her - shows a great deal of neediness?

(let me mention we work at the same place and represent the same firm).

I appreciate youre comments, I give them big significance.

No no no. You are mixing this all up. The point is that there is nothing wrong with telling her how you feel - so long as the attitude surrounding that statement and your attitude afterwards are in check (not needy). Telling her how you feel doesn't show neediness at all - it has the POTENTIAL to, but it also has the potential to display confidence, self-worth, and general manliness. It all comes down to how you react to her response (whatever it may be) and acting accordingly from thereon in.

However, this doesn't matter for this girl IMO. She's a lost cause, so I'd say tell her how you feel just for the sake of taking the swing and getting more experience, and then move on. Remember, we each get one shot at each girl, per lifetime. Once she decides she isn't attracted to you that way, it's time to respectfully bounce out to a new piece of ass.

Yeah I do think you are in a position to be honest with her. But like I said it is all in how you say it. If you say "I love you" and expect something in return then you are at fault.

The only reason why you should say that is because you feel it. It has nothing to do with getting the girl or not. The outcome is illrelaavant to you. You could lose her forever or she could become your soul mate. Either way you have to present her the choice.

She is confused by you because you are not man enough to tell her how you feel.

I understand she works in the same office with you. But you are being a jackass right now anyway. If you DONT put her down or be negative towards her, it won't matter if you date her. Always stay positive with her and never judge her or label her as a slut or bitch or something. It's up to you in how you handle your relationships. You can actually agree to break up respectfully if you are positive and not insulting. But who's to say you will break up, and who's to say you will even get together. You just need to get how you feel off your chest. You will feel better about it.

Basically running away and ignoring her is only going to make it awkward at work. I'm kind of annoyed you waited days to tell her how you feel after she opened herself up to you. She may have already made up her mind about you by now. She will have to guess what you want. She could just play it safe, and pretend you only want to be friends.

Do you see what you are doing to her? I know it's next to impossible to see the world through her eyes, especially when you are so emotionally invested in this relationship. She does care about you, but you are so focused on being a man and not being vulnerable that she is afraid of you.

It takes courage to be honest and tell someone you care about them. If you ignore her, you will still care about her. Unless you rationalize in your mind and call her a bitch, which she is not. It's not fair to ruin the friendship because you couldn't be man enough to tell her how you feel. Don't you see, your headed to a dead end by ignoring her. Tell her "I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you this, but I had to be sure. I'm in love with you." That's it done. Don't say anything else. Even when she starts asking you questions. Just say "All I know is how I feel".

_________________
Walk Hard