WHAT A SITUATION! PLEASE HELP



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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 2:41 am 
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I'm currently trying to talk to this very coy and aloof girl who is truly a dime piece. She is very reserved and shy to people she doesn't feel comfortable with. I met her one night at a friends party and I hooked her immediately. Had her laughing, we played beer pong, I teased her at how bad she was but gave credit where due. Then I started to create rapport, found out that we're both multi-racial and the same race surprisingly, considering she is black/puerto rican. She started taking initiative in the conversation when she started feeling comfortable, asking me questions and all that jazz. The party was getting dull and I wasn't feeling the vibe there so I changed locations (I understand it was necessary for more attraction as well). Then I started to tell her about herself, dissected her personality to the teeth. She was really amazed as I could tell she was constantly smiling and staring at my lips. Kept saying she was tired but I would reply saying she doesn't look like it and if she wanted to go she could. She denied every time I told her she could leave, showing that I wasn't desperate for her presence. This is where I know I messed up... we started veering into topics about funny stories which involved a couple of my ex's and then she got interested about what kind of girls I dated so she was curious. I answered willingly like an idiot, not taking to considering this will hurt me. I got to caught up in trying to impress her with stories of my ex's and she didn't have much to comment on afterwards. I asked her about what kind of guys she dated and she didn't say anything really. It was getting late, so I walked her to her place (i'm a college student, her dorm is literally 10 feet away from mine). Got her number at the door, demanded it like an alpha male. I knew since she had a demure nature, coming in would've been completely unethical in her books. Especially, considering she was a freshman; i'm sure she hasn't been exposed to that kind of behavior yet. So I left and went back to my room. As I was preparing to go to sleep, she texted me demanding to see me since she couldn't sleep (I had just left her no later 10 than mins before). I knew I had her interest by that action alone.

I met with her the next day, we went out with our friends looking for parties. It was a very unsuccessful search but was still able to display a lot of a lot of things like being a leader, funny, not serious, charismatic, wanted by other women, etc. After that day, we talked every now and then... i must include, she is very bad at texting back. My text game is very tight, I had no problems in texting... It might be her personality that leads her to be unresponsive. I didn't know how to take it so I would text her twice in a week and i got no responses. When I would see her, I would act as if nothing had ever happened. Still showing her my best self, not being beta and asking why she didn't text me back. About a week later, she calls me, asks me what i'm doing, I tell her homework, and we had an awkward moment. I paused waiting for her to tell me why the she called and there was silence for what seemed like 3 hours but was only like 2 secs. She then says, "Sooo.. do you want to do homework together". I reply saying, "hmmmmm.... Ok, I think we can do that, let me take a shower though I haven't bathed since the morning." (it was 10 pm) then i continued and said, "I'll meet you at your place, wait fuck that, you come over here... I'll let you hang around my funk for a few before i shower.... actually I'm a clean freak I couldn't do that to myself, i'll call you when i'm out". I get out, call her, she comes, we hang from like 10:30-1:30am. We had a very fun time, didn't escalate at all, I should have, flirted a bit, teased her, made her laugh, and I established some more similarities. I even started drawing on her thighs, she resisted at first, they were weak so I continued. It ended with 30 mins of me touching and rubbing her thigh drawing an artistic rose on it (very artistic rose i must emphasize). She kept it on and walked her out, still no kiss. She is very dismissive to every moment that could have been attempt at me kissing her. It's been a few days and everything is back where it was before. No texts, no calls, just encounters with a few words exchanged. I HAVE NO CLUE what this girls intentions are with me anymore. I should have kissed her on the first day but I was being very AFC and giving myself the excuse that she is shy, she wouldn't accept it. Her friends love me, I flirt with her best friend all the time. I have no idea whether she likes me or not anymore nor what to do and I'm currently suffering from, "I GOT HER, HAD HER, KNOW I WANT HER BACK" syndrome.

An extensive read, I promise to condense my next posts but I thought it might've been good to add as much details and encounters as possible. Thank you in advance!


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 2:58 am 
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I'm probably going to be the only one who actually read this whole thing. It's a hell ovva wall of text.

The main problem is that you clearly aren't escalating enough when you definitely should be. She's getting the idea that you're not interested because you're not moving things forward. You said yourself that she was shy, what makes you think she's going to make a move?

When she was at yours to do "homework" she probably already thought you'd make a move while she was on her way over there, she was probably even looking forward to it! Then when not an awful lot happened she'll have left disappointed and wondering why exactly you didn't do anything when you had the chance. She was on her own with you at your place for god's sake man!

This is actually the main sticking point I always used to have. I always thought the 3 second rule was kinda lame. But if you think you have a chance, as soon as you notice just assume you're right about it and go for it. Because the chances are, you're probably right. It's my favorite and least favorite part of the night for me when I'm hitting on someone I think. Going in for that first kiss. It's like when you and your mates decide to shot tequila! You know it could go so wrong, but it usually goes so right!

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 3:14 am 
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Lol your correct, I do seem to be oblivious at her attempts to let me escalate. I hope she doesn't have that impression on me. What would you suggest I do to get her to believe I'm interested? By the way I appreciate the quick reply, very reliable forum :).


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 4:06 pm 
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I suggest you escalate.
Like I said, if you THINK you can then that generally means you can.

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