Urgent help needed, major work girl probem



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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 6:08 pm 
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Hi to all you PUA on here. First time post but read plenty, some incrediby useful stuff here.

Now I have a huge problem, tried dealing with it on my own but hey theres strength in numbers so im really looking for some strong advice. Here goes>>>

Theres a girl that I have worked with for the past few years, during this time we have become close. Helps that we have alot in common and usually like the same things. We were both in relationships until she broke up with her boyfriend then i split with my gf. So its ony in recent months we've both been single.

This is how it goes: she has no problem with being around me, conversation never feels fake, its all natural. She tells me what shes doing most of the time, always laughs and jokes around me (although dont be too fooled cause shes a very jolly person) Also she doesnt have a problem with me touching her etc. I mean I often go and grab/hold her hand when i want her to do/come see something and she never has a probem. If were messing around i'll tickle her and she plays along. Her mom works at the same place, in a different department tho and ive got to know her too, i needed to thank her mum for something and she had no problem giving me her moms number.

Now for the negative lol. This is where im confused as fook. I have caught this girl telling lies about stuff and me never being afraid to say whats on my mind have confronted her about them. Most of the time they were only little lies, nothing major but we fall out over them, then make up. Recently shes lied again and ofcourse i confront her and we go over the same pattern. Last time i laid into her about telling lies and honesty, she says its down to her ex that shes like this, always having to lie cause she feels she has to justify herself. She only seems to behave like this round me, strange!!!

I kno we have alot of fun working together and have a hell of alot in common but im very concerned with these lies and stories she makes up. Id like to kno if u guys think she is being genuine with her insecurity or shes just being a bitch???. I have not tried to escalte anything as of yet cause of these concerns. I do kno this girl is very hard to get anything with a deep connection.

So heres the million dolar question id really appreciate help with dudes>>>

Does this girl like me and should i go for it???????


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 8:08 pm 
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The question remains, what kind of lies? That has a huge difference as to whether she likes you or not, and how you should react.

And that load of BS about her lying being because of her ex? It's shit. Not true. Don't believe her. But at the same time, don't blame her. Women have a mentality of not wanting to take the responsibility for their own actions, and like to distance themselves from it. Part of the feminist movement. She probably doesn't even know it's BS, so just be aware, but don't blame her. It just means that the problem is something else. Let us know what she's lying about, and we can help more.

_________________
Jazzy Jeff: "My love for you is like a river,
Like a summer breeze that makes my soul shiver,
One look from you is more precious than gold,
Let's grab some BBQ and go get busy!"


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 8:51 pm 
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Cheers 4 the reply bud,

Good advice on the woman never accepting responsibility for their own actions, spot on.

Well they've been a few lies but here are 2 i remember the most:

1. Turning upto work late one day and giving me some bs excuse to this.
2. Going on vacation with her bf and telling me shes going with one of her girlfriends.
(Obviousy this was when she was with bf)

Prob is when she lies, she concocts more lies to keep up the shit, she makes herself look more stupid and it blags my head. Is this just a girl thing???


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 9:02 pm 
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To some degree, yeah, it is. Men lie, women lie, but for different reasons. It seems to me like she's saving face. If she was lying in front of you, but TO someone else, I would just ignore it. If she was lying TO you. Just call her out on it, and let her know that you don't appreciate being lied to, and that she can tell you whatever is going on with her, without you judging her.

Women have extremely strong peer pressures from society and the media (more than guys), so they just don't want to be judged. That's the whole concept behind ASD.

Neither of these lies really affected you (she wasn't saying she was late to a date with you because of a nail appointment, when you KNOW she was with a another dude), so I would call her out on it as I said above, then drop it. She'll either become trustworthy, or she'll prove she's just a liar. If she is, you can't change that.

As to whether or not she's interested? I just always assume she is, then move from there. If she isn't, she'll made it known when you advance too far.

_________________
Jazzy Jeff: "My love for you is like a river,
Like a summer breeze that makes my soul shiver,
One look from you is more precious than gold,
Let's grab some BBQ and go get busy!"


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